Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
So, this is a prompt where I had to write my own suicide note and about me finding it three days after I committed suicide. Hope you guys enjoy. This is going to be in lots of different parts.
Dear Death ,
Please take me now. My pain has grown unbearable, my life horrible. Take me from this world of hate and horror. Please take me away from this pain. Please spare the agony of this life. I cannot bare it anymore. I hope that you will grant me this wish and that you’ll be kind enough to save me from this place of torment. It is my time. I know it is and, I'm sorry to say that I had enough of this place. It was a good run but, now I'm done with it. Take me under your dark wings and save me from this pain. Free me from all the harm that befalls me on this plain. Take me to the abyss and, let me roam free in the darkness that is so comforting to me. I wish I could say no one will get hurt from this but, I know they will. There is nothing that anyone can say or do that will keep me from this fate. I will meet my maker and die. I know this will set off like a bomb. In my wake, everything will go downhill.
Then the writing goes red like blood….
You’re always upbeat even when you have a concussion. You push through things. You find something to be happy about. I wish I could do that. I wish I could’ve been as strong as you but I obviously failed. I can’t take life anymore. Everything has piled up around me and, everything good that happens to me withers away. I’m constantly in pain. Constantly fighting to make it through the day. The dark forms of demons finally won their battle and, closed in around me. It is too bad that I wasn’t strong enough. Please don’t ever give up being upbeat. You’re one of my best friends. I may not have known you as long as the Alex, Jhosael, Abbey and, Madisen but, I feel like I’ve known you for all of my life. I feel like you’re someone that I’ve grown up with. It’s sad that I’ll never get to see any of my friends grow up but, I had to leave. The hurt and the pain was overwhelming and I cracked under that pressure. It isn’t something that I want people to joke about but, I know someone will.
My soul cries for release and I answered it's pleas. You have an ability that not that many people have. You can make me laugh. You can genuinely make me laugh and smile. You made me remember what it was like to feel the embrace of love and happiness. You made me feel wanted and welcomed. You never looked down on me for being myself like Madisen did. I admire you for being so accepting and caring also sympathetic towards me being gay/bisexual or whatever I am. It was nice to see someone who didn’t care. You barely knew me when I shared that with you and, you accepted me with open arms. I want you to know that I love you, Anthony. I have always loved you and, I know that you will take this harder than anyone else. You helped me remember that the world was once innocent and oblivious for me too. You made me see that the world didn’t swallow innocence, happiness and, giddiness whole and spit it out like it was nothing.
I want to thank you for being there for me when I needed you. I want to thank you for everything that you have ever done for me. It was a good run that I had and, I have some good memories but, they weren’t enough to save me. You showed me that happiness is possible. Love is possible. Everything is possible. I always wondered if you did stuff that a “Normal kid” does today. I guess I’ll never know. When the shit hit the fan you were on my side. I never doubted that you were. Even when you weren’t on my side you had your reasons and, I knew that you had some reasons for it. You’ve become an important part of my life. It’s a really hard thing to do. To become something that means a lot to me is one of the hardest things that a person could do. You did it. Be proud of that. I would say that I would miss you but, I don’t know what comes after death I can’t say this for sure. It is something that you can’t drag yourself down for. You can’t drag yourself down because, of what I’ve done. You need to be able to move past this. You have to move past this. No one will come out of this unscathed so, try to be strong for everyone. Please don’t be so strong that you completely let your emotions go and, become a robot, I beg you. Please forgive me, love. I didn't want to hurt you but, this was the only way out. I'm sorry.
It is my time. I’m out of place and I can’t fit in. I never fitted in this world. I never have and never will. I was born into the wrong time period. The wrong place. It is important to me that you continue on your journey of life. Go places, meet new people make new friends follow your heart and fall in love with someone. Go through your life loving every single moment of it because it will all be gone in the blink of an eye. Fall in love for the very first time and remember that moment. It’s unforgettable. Find someone that you truly love and, get married, have children and, grow old together. Be smart and kind and be yourself. No matter what you do don’t lose yourself to the real world. Don’t lose your innocence and purity to the real world. The world only let’s the light live sometimes. You are one of those times. There is only one little piece of light in the complete darkness of this world and, you’re that one piece. Don’t let that die because of me, please.
There is one thing that I wished I could’ve done. I wish I could’ve been as strong as you. This is my end and, it’s here. It’s always hard to say the first time but, we both know it has to be said. Goodbye. As I write this my hands are shaking and, I’m crying because I know that this is going to have some impact on you. I will miss you. Goodbye, my friend. It feels like I’ve known you my whole life. Goodbye, Anthony.
Goodbye, Forever. Don’t worry. We’ll see each other again.
So, Goodbye My good first boyfriend. Goodbye, my first love. Goodbye, Anthony.