The Party - chapter seven - edited

Hiya, Ofir! So you asked me to re-review and here I am

I'm really happy with the improvements you've made - the story reads so much better now which is great. I still feel that - even with the improvements - the Amy and Ian thing still seemed odd. My advice would be to perhaps add something in the previous chapter to hint at a possible closeness between them because right now it still seems quite rushed and unrealistic. Amy's behaviour towards Ian lacks that consistency which is something that's needed in order to keep the sense of realism. I mean, if you do wish to introduce a romance between them, it doesn't have to be done so quickly, it should be done gradually. Again, it's totally my opinion, at the end of the day it's up to you.

I'm glad I've been of help

*coco

Heyyyy. So I'm finally here; sorry about that. I actually read this a little while ago, but reviewing takes more time.

I hadn't missed much, or so Alex kept repeating #0040FF ">on the phone later that night. #4040FF ">(I'm debating whether or not you should add a line in like that. I do like your style, how you are very subtle and show instead of tell, leaving it up to the reader to discern, but adding in a few lines like that would clear up the confusion/not elaborating in some parts that coco was talking about, with which I agree. It's not really that big of a problem, as you're muchhh better off this way than the opposite, you know, those people who feel the need to explain every little thing and act as if their readers are idiots. Your writing assumes we're intelligent, which is of course awesome, but sometimes it just needs a little more elaboration, which is an easy fix. Anyway, this paragraph may not really need such a phrase, but I'll let you know the next few times that do. They just told us exactly who we were going to teach and when – they were real organized too, handed out timetables. Alex had mine. I held onto the plastic phone so tightly my knuckles were white. "How… How's David?" I asked in a small voice.

Alex giggled on the other line. "Mr. Drama-queen was pretty much hysteric."

I remained silent. She was joking: that was good. So it wasn't serious... Where did this protectiveness jump out of anyways? He had a girlfriend. He didn't need me looking after him. Nevertheless, I couldn't stop the words from pouring out. "He wasn't really hurt though, right?" I asked fearfully.

Alex stopped laughing. "He deserved a smack in the face, Amy. You know that, right?" Her tone was solemn for a change.

I swallowed. "Y-yeah, of course I know that. But… I mean, I still… I just don't want anyone hurting him. That's my job." I switched hands holding the phone. "So…" I cleared my throat. "Did he?"

"Did he what?" Alex's voice was blank.

I gritted my teeth. "Oh, come on, Alex! Did he get hurt?" Dumb question, my inner voice corrected me. I saw the blood, of course he was hurt. "I mean, was he really hurt?"

Alex sighed. "Well… let's just say it's a good thing he was in a hospital."

I let out a long breath, sitting on my bed. "How'd he take it?"

"Like the wimp he is," Alex replied with ease.

I laughed. "Yeah, he's always had a problem with needles. I thought Anne wasn't too fond of those either, I bet she was spooked…" My voice faded. Touchy subject. #0040FF ">Am also confused by the needles. And, it doesn't really feel like it needs to be a touchy subject, if it's just her and Alex talking privately, and if she was the one who brought Anne up.

Alex cleared her throat. "Yeah, I thought so too. I think they're both trying to act brave, volunteering at the hospital."

"Or Ian just forced them," I offered. We both giggled.

Alex's breath rustled on the other side of the line. "Oh, yeah, Jennifer said we might meet again, for coffee, I was just thinking –"

A clinking sound came from my window. That was strange. I walked up to it, moving the white curtains. Another small pebble crashed against it. I looked around as best as I could but it was too dark for me to see who was out there.

"Amy, are you listening?" Alex questioned crossly.

"Ah, sorry, it's just…" I turned my eyes to slits trying to figure out who it was. "There're some weird sounds coming from below. I'm gonna go check it out – I'll call you later, 'kay?"

"Wait, Amy, that's dangero-" #0040FF ">She's just at her house, and in a good neighborhood right, so why should it be dangerous? Maybe say something have her say something like "be careful" instead? I already hung up, wishing I hadn't caught her midsentence. But I could still fix that later. I opened the door #0040FF "> a technical note, she went out the front door right? so she already left her bedroom? maybe just mention that somewhere., #0040FF ">and walk#0040FF ">ed outside. The stone trail felt cold on my bare feet, tickling. #0040FF "> the "tickling" bugs me for some reason. maybe "tickling them" I walked until I was in front of my window, finally seeing something in the darkness. It had hair. Lots of it.

I'd know that big mass of brown hair anywhere. "Ian, what are you doing here?" I asked unhappily. #0040FF ">that part's good, as she has been annoyed with him earlier. just mentioning this because soon Amy veers off from this and it feels a little rushed

Ian walked out of the shadow, tugging Laney by the hand. "Here, I walked you over, happy?" he asked her sourly.

The girl of thirteen nodded enthusiastically. She gave him a peck on the cheek. "Very much so. #0040FF "> just sounds a little formal for a 13-year old. I'd like just a simple "Yes." or something better. Hey, Amy." She let go of her brother's hand and gave me a hug.

I ruffled her wavy brown hair, squeezing #0040FF ">her back. "Nice seeing you, hon."

She waved #0040FF ">goodbye to us and walked inside without even knocking. Well, that was just like her.

"Polite, ain't she?" Ian asked with a grimace.

I giggled. "She takes after her brother."

Ian grinned, clutching at his heart. "Stabbed me right here."

I punched his shoulder, seeing as that was as high as I could reach. He was too tall. "Deal with it," I said as I walked to the house. The wind was a bit chilly tonight. I rubbed my arms with my hands. "C'mon, hurry up!"

Ian stayed rooted. "I don't think that's such a good idea…" he said hesitantly.

I rolled my eyes at him. "And why isn't it?"

"Davy," Ian finally said. I was surprised to hear a strained tone in his voice. "I'm his best friend; your parents must hate me now." He squirmed around, finally shoving his hands in his jacket's pockets.

I howled with laughter. How could he be so absurd? "That's what you're worried about?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

Ian pouted. "Quit laughing, it's not funny!" His cheeks were burning red.

"Aww, how cute!" I teased.

His mouth twisted into a smile. He caught me by the shoulders, ruffling my hair until it was thoroughly messy."I'm not cute! Admit it!" His laughter was so warm, it felt like it warmed me up too#0040FF "> this is the perfect place to add something like "almost against my will, and despite the annoyance he had often been lately." not the best examples, but you get the idea. you know, just to transition a bit more from her being annoyed at him to having such a good time with him. I struggled as well as I could, giggling and gasping for air.

"Never!" I vowed in between fits of laughter.

After what seemed like too short of a time#0040FF ">, Ian let me go, taking a deep breath. "Fine. Ugh, you're such a swamp monster!"

I rolled my eyes, tugging on his arm. "Okay, let's go inside now. I'll even let you see the swamp bedroom."

Ian pursed his lips. "I'd still feel uncomfortable." #0040FF ">maybe have Amy say something like "come on, you've already walked all the way here" or Ian say something like "I really just meant to drop off Laney." just to make more mention of why Ian is there in the first place (his technical reason, at least), because it still is somewhat random that he's just there all of a sudden, you know. not that you'd have to add it in right in this spot or anything.

I tried to find some composure inside me. Finally, I managed to stifle my laughter. The evening air was cold, and I wasn't wearing any thick clothes. I shuddered. "Don't worry," I said through a dark smile. "No one has a problem with Davy. Only with me." I gestured at the house. When he still wavered I finally snapped. "Look, it's cool, okay? No one has a problem with you. In fact, Mom probably missed you, and I'm cold, so let's go inside!" I stomped my foot. It wasn't as affective as I wanted it to be.

He ruffled my hair again, pushing my head lightly aside. "Fine."

We walked up the paved road to my house silently. I cursed under my breath, rubbing my arms again. Why did have to be so cold? Ugh. I hoped I wouldn’t catch a cold.

"You're not wearing any shoes," Ian said suddenly, his tone surprised. He was staring down at my pink toes.

"I always walk barefoot at home. And since someone threw pebbles at my window…" I added gruffly.

Ian raised both eyebrows in surprise. "I thought you'd wear something, of course you'd get cold." He took a step closer to me, blocking my way.

"Ian," I began to complain, but he took both my hands in his. His hands were large, a bit rugged, and most of all, warm. It felt so nice.

"See?" he said softly. "You're freezing. You'll get sick."#0040FF "> a little too love-dovey, too soon. and they're only on her driveway, so it's not that big a deal.

I weakly tried to pull my hands out but he wouldn't let me. I hid my face in my bangs. "Swamp monsters don't get sick," I whispered back. Something about his eyes was strange tonight. The look he had made my heart pick up speed inside my chest. #0040FF ">too soon! not before she's even really started with ben. unlessss after this little night (where they act so flirty/ romantic) their relationship reverts back, leaving this night more of just something to confuse her while things with her and ben get more serious.

Ian smiled faintly. "I can argue with that," he said as he let go of my hands. I breathed again, taking a timid step forward.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa – who said I'm letting you walk?" Ian protested.

I giggled. "Don't be ridiculous, Ian. I'm seriously cold now so let's just hurry."

Ian grinned. "I'm serious." He pressed his hand to the small of my back, bending down to pick me off my feet.
Even though it was obvious, my mind went blank for a minute. Don't tell me he was trying to hold me? "Ian!" I shrieked. "What are you doing?!"

He paused. "Trust me for a sec, will you? Don't be scared." He lifted me off the ground.

I held onto his shoulders involuntarily. Had they always been so wide? I blushed scarlet, feeling my heart pound. "Ian, you idiot – put me down!" #0040FF "> even though it's really cute, it all seems a little too much, especially as they're only in front of her house.

Ian's hands were firm on my back and legs, reassuring. "I won't let you fall," he said confidently.

Of course I already knew that, he didn't even have to say it. This could be unhealthy for him: I might be heavy, and something will go wrong with his back. #0040FF ">relax, Amy! . that's too much worrying He continued to walk with me in his arms, carried like a princess as I fretted. "Put me down!" I demanded.

Ian looked confused, though I couldn't catch a good glimpse of his face. Maybe he finally heard the panic in my voice. "Why? What are you worried about? I already told you, I'm not going to let you fa-"

"I don't care about that part! I'm worried about you! You might get hurt…" My voice trailed. This was just too embarrassing. #0040FF ">that's better, embarrassment it a much better reason I hid my face in his chest. "Just get me home, Ian." #0040FF "> yeah, that part sounds weird since they're just outside her house. maybe say something like "just take me inside" instead

Ian laughed. His chest shook with his laughter. It tickled. "Okay, swamp monster."

He set me on my feet, surprisingly gently, next to the door. He was grinning. I bared my teeth at him, doing my best to look menacing. "Never, do, that, again," I said through my teeth.

Ian's grin widened. "Mademoiselle?" He gestured at the door.

I pouted, looking for some way to make the mood lighter. I was still feeling so embarrassed. "Stop showing off your French. I know I got a D." Ian shook with laughter as we walked in, so it seemed like I succeeded.

"Amy, you there?" my mom called from the kitchen. I grabbed Ian's hand, fear overcoming my awkwardness, just in case he'd try to run away. Like hell was I facing her alone.

"Coming!" I called as I dragged him along. It wasn't the easiest task, since he didn't really want to go, but I finally managed. "Mom, Ian's staying over for dinner," I said as soon as we entered the kitchen.

Mom turned around with a genuine smile on her face. Ian gave her a quick hug, glaring at me behind her back. "Revenge," I mouthed at him.

"How have you been doing?" Mom asked as she turned back to the pots on the stove. I leaned on the countertop. The food actually smelled okay today.

"I've been doing well, thanks." Ian smiled weakly. "And you?"

Mom added some spices to one of the pots. "Oh, nothing special, you know. I haven’t been seeing you around lately…"

Dangerous topic. I snatched Ian's arm before this conversation could go any further. "We're upstairs, Mom, if you need us," I said quickly, already halfway out the kitchen.

"You two have fun now!" Mom called after us.

Only when we were safely in my room with the door closed did I let myself calm down. "I told you she missed you." I flopped down on the bed. Ian sat down next to me.

"Dinner?" he asked me, incredulous. "That's just playing dirty."

"Hey, you earned it." I leaned on my pillow, taking a big breath. It was so cold before, and now it was suddenly warm. I snuggled there for a second.

"I still have to thank you," Ian said numbly. It sounded like he was dosing off too.

"What for?" I murmured.

"A hysteric Davy is a really funny thing to watch."

I raised my head from the pillow, glaring at him. "It wasn't my fault. And he had it coming."

Ian chuckled softly. My head slowly fell back to the pillow. "I wasn't accusing anyone. I had fun at the hospital today."

"'Course you did." I yawned. "No nurse cut your hair."

Ian leaned his head next to mine. "Yep. Apparently my hair isn't that dangerous. Swamp monsters are more of a menace." #0040FF ">the swamp monsters thing is starting to bug me a little big, overkill, in my book. just take out one or two and I'd like it better.

I hummed. My fingertips were going numb. "I better go," Ian muttered. #0040FF ">just kinda weird, cause Amy worked so hard to convince Ian to come inside and now she's just about to fall asleep and let him leave? just mention this, maybe add in a few lines up something about Amy vaguely thinking how she shouldn't fall asleep

"Hmm…" was all I could summon. I closed my eyes one last time and everything sunk into a nice cozy darkness.

"Ian!" Laney's voice woke me up. "Amy, you too! Dinner!" I slowly rose out of the bed.

Ian stretched and rolled over on the bed. "Tell Mom… I'm not hungry," he muttered, eyes still closed.

"Ian?" I asked through a giggle. I rubbed my eyes, remembering what must've happened. A bit awkward, but it was still alright. Nothing happened, after all.

Ian's eyes flew open at the sound of my voice. "Amy? We fell asleep?"

"Must have," I replied, getting up and stretching. It was a nice enough nap. "Let's go, dinner is served."

Ian's cheeks were rosy pink. "Right. Dinner, that's… yeah." #0040FF ">haha, like this

I ran a hand through my hair, hoping to tame it a bit. I laughed at Ian's messy hair. "It's sticking all over," I sighed, half in amusement half in frustration. I walked up to him and tried smoothing it with my hand. It didn't work. "Try to brush it once in a while," I suggested, walking towards the door. "Ian, are you coming?"

He seemed locked into place, blinking. "Sure."

When we finally got downstairs, all the portions were already served. Dad's seat was empty. "Work?" I asked Mom briefly. She nodded only once before starting to eat. No grace tonight. That meant Mom was probably too tired.

Even though the food looked good it still tasted terrible. I ate half of my plate, feeling all brave about myself. Ian finished the entire plate and politely refused the second helping.

Only when we walked outside did he let his true reaction out. "That was terrible." He shuddered. Somehow, he seemed like he was back to normal. I smiled. "I thought about cutting out my tongue." Ian made a disgusted voice.

Smacking his shoulder, I laughed. "Rookies tend to have that sort of reaction. But you ate everything, that's great."

Ian scratched the back of his head. "I couldn't tell your Mom no. That would've been impolite."

I smacked his shoulder again, lighter this time. "And you can die of being rude, too."

Ian cleared his throat. "Speaking of dying… the hospital is cool, huh?"

I kicked a rock that happened to lye by. "Yeah, it's nice there. Ben is crazy."

Ian stopped short in the street. "Do you like him?" he asked quietly.

"Like who?" I stopped too, staring at him. His cheeks were red again.

"Ben, you swamp monster. Who else would I be talking about?"

I folded my hands across my chest. He was acting all weird again. "What's it to you?"

Ian groaned, turning around. "Ugh, just forget it. I'm going home."

At this, I groaned too. He was so unreasonable. Still, I didn't want him to leave yet. So I did the only thing I thought would help. "Okay, whatever I did, I'm sorry."

Ian turned around slowly. His grey eyes were a bit unfocused. "Nah, that was my fault… I'm sorry too." He slouched, hands deep in his pockets.

I looked him up and down suspiciously. "You're not yourself today." What an understatement.

Ian sighed, rubbing his temples. "Yeah," he managed. "Today is… just messed up."

I thought about Davy, the weird thing at the hospital with Ben, and now this. "Yep," I agreed ruefully. "Today really isn't normal."

Ian closed his eyes and swallowed loudly. "I'm going to kill myself for this," he muttered, and I wasn't sure if he was addressing me. Then he turned around, and I was surprised to see he was grimacing. "I… I think you should talk to Davy."

I felt my muscles harden. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah." Ian nodded, moving the brown hair. "I think he'd really like it, you know, you coming around. And you know how he gets with needles, he was completely freaked. I think you owe him that much." Ian closed his eyes, swallowing again, as if bracing himself for my yelling. #0040FF ">i like this idea. a real talk would be good. by the way, thinking back over the course of the story so far, I like how you have slowly revealed things. well done.

The words pinched my heart like a physical pain. His reaction did too. Davy was scared? "You think he'd want me there?" I whispered. My cheeks were burning, and my gaze was digging a hole into the darkened grass. "You really think he'd want to see me?"

Ian's mouth dropped open. "Are you stupid?" he asked finally. My gaze snapped up, poisonous and deadly. Ian swallowed again. "I meant, as his best friend, I assure you he really, really wants to see you. Really."

"But… he said all those mean stuff at the hospital," I mumbled, checking for a lie in his face. I couldn't find one.

Ian rolled his eyes and shook his head. "He's a dude. You know, as in, a guy. #0040FF ">hahah What did you expect him to do, have a long and meaningful conversation about how much he misses you?" #0040FF ">like this

My hands balled up into fists. "He doesn't miss me." Only after I said the words I realized my tone was harsh and my voice shaking. I blinked away a few tears. "He has Anne now. She'll look after him."

Ian just looked at me, his mouth hanging open as if dumbfounded. "You're serious?"

I scowled. "Do I look like I'm joking?"

His grey eyes stared into mine and he half smiled. "Alright, I'll give you that. He has Anne. Fine. You guys are still friends." He paused, then took a step back. "I'm going home." Behind his shoulder, he said, "He'd have come to see you when you're hurting and scared."

I wanted to yell, or cry, or do something. I wanted to scream at Ian's back, "But I was hurting and scared. And he was the one causing it. And he wasn't there."

I wanted to run away.

So I squared my shoulders and sighed. I just had to think that, huh? Running away was bad. Bad, bad, bad. And I wasn't going to do it anymore.

I couldn't believe myself when I said, "Hey, Ian, wait up. Walk me to Davy's place." I took a deep breath. "Just wait a sec, I'm going to go tell my mom."

Ian stopped, back still turned to me. But he was waiting, and that was all I needed.

I sprinted inside the house, cursing under my breath. "Mom, I'm going to Davy's, Ian's walking me," I shouted at the general direction of my parent's bedroom.

"Okay," my mom shouted back. I thought I heard a little smugness in her voice. I ran back outside, stopping next to Ian, huffing.

He raised an amused eyebrow at me. "Walk me to Davy – what?" he asked in a teasing tone.

I sighed again. "Walk me to Davy, please. I can't believe you're making me do this." I shook my head, walking forward.

Ian grinned. "You always fall for guilt."

I punched his shoulder, my stomach lurching at the thought of what I must do now. Oh, great. It was going to be just splendind. I felt sick to my stomach.

Hiya, Ofir! Coco here, as requested!

ofir wrote:I hadn't missed much, or so Alex kept repeating. They just told us exactly who we were going to teach and when – they were real organized too, handed out timetables [This sentence needs some work, it seems very broken]. Alex had mine. I held onto the plastic phone so tightly my knuckles were white. "How… How's David?" I asked in a small voice.

Alex giggled on the other line. "Mr. Drama-queen was pretty much hysteric." [This sentence is a little awkward. To me 'hysteric' isn't the right word, did you mean "hysterical?"]

I remained silent. She was joking: that was good. So it wasn't serious... Where did this protectiveness jump out of anyways? He had a girlfriend. He didn't need me looking after him. Nevertheless, I couldn't stop the words from pouring out. "He wasn't really hurt though, right?" I asked fearfully.

Alex stopped laughing. "He deserved a smack in the face, Amy. You know that, right?" Her tone was solemn for a change.

I swallowed. "Y-yeah, of course I know that. But… I mean, I still… I just don't want anyone hurting him. That's my job." I switched hands holding the phone. "So…" I cleared my throat. "Did he?"

"Did he what?" Alex's voice was blank.

I gritted my teeth. "Oh, come on, Alex! Did he get hurt?" Dumb question, my inner voice corrected me. I saw the blood, of course he was hurt. "I mean, was he really hurt?"

Alex sighed. "Well… let's just say it's a good thing he was in a hospital."

I let out a long breath, sitting on my bed. "How'd he take it?" [What are you talking about here, elaborate]

"Like the wimp he is," Alex replied with ease.

I laughed. "Yeah, he's always had a problem with needles. I thought Anne wasn't too fond of those either, I bet she was spooked…" My voice faded. Touchy subject. [Does this mean they had to take an injection? You didn't mention that, why do they have to take one? Again, elaborate]

Alex cleared her throat. "Yeah, I thought so too. I think they're both trying to act brave, volunteering at the hospital."

"Or Ian just forced them," I offered. We both giggled.

Alex's breath rustled on the other side of the line. "Oh, yeah, Jennifer said we might meet again, for coffee, I was just thinking –"

A clinking sound came from my window. That was strange. I walked up to it, moving the white curtains. Another small pebble crashed against it. I looked around as best as I could but it was too dark for me to see who was out there.

"Amy, are you listening?" Alex questioned crossly.

"Ah, sorry, it's just…" I turned my eyes to slits trying to figure out who it was. "There're some weird sounds coming from below [I'm not really a fan of this word in this sentence. Why not try "downstairs" or "outside" instead?]. I'm gonna go check it out – I'll call you later, 'kay?"

"Wait, Amy, that's dangero-" I already hung up, wishing I hadn't caught her midsentence. But I could [take out 'still'] fix that later. I opened the door, walking outside [very awkward and broken sentence. This really needs to be developed]. The stone trail felt cold on my bare feet, tickling. I walked until I was in front of my own window, finally seeing something in the darkness [again, this sentence is really broken]. It had hair. Lots of it.

I'd know that big mass of brown hair [you've repeated hair, why not rephrase the sentence] anywhere. "Ian, what are you doing here?" I asked unhappily.

Ian walked out of the shadow, tugging Laney by the hand. "Here, I walked you over, happy?" he asked her sourly.

The girl of thirteen nodded enthusiastically. She gave him a peck on the cheek. "Very much so. Hey, Amy." She let go of her brother's hand and gave me a hug.

I ruffled her wavy brown hair, squeezing back [sounds awkward, do you mean she's hugging her back, if so you need to think of a better way of saying it]. "Nice seeing you, hon."

She waved at us and walked inside without even knocking. Well, that was just like her. [Who waved? Walked inside where? Elaborate!]

"Polite, ain't she?" Ian asked with a grimace.

I giggled. "She takes after her brother."

Ian grinned, clutching at his heart. "Stabbed me right here." [Lol - I love Ian ]

I punched his shoulder, seeing as that was as high as I could reach. He was too tall. "Deal with it," I said as I walked to the house. The wind was a bit chilly tonight. I rubbed my arms with my hands. "C'mon, hurry up!"

Ian stayed rooted. "I don't think that's such a good idea…" he said hesitantly.

I rolled my eyes at him. "And why isn't it?"

"Davy," Ian finally said. I was surprised to hear a strained tone in his voice. "I'm his best friend; your parents must hate me now." He squirmed around, finally shoving his hands in his jacket's pockets.

I howled with laughter. How could he be so absurd? "That's what you're worried about?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

Ian pouted. "Quit laughing, it's not funny!" His cheeks were burning red.

"Aww, how cute!" I teased.

His mouth twisted into a smile. He caught me by the shoulders, ruffling my hair until it was thoroughly messy."I'm not cute! Admit it!" His laughter was so warm, it felt like it warmed me up too. I struggled as well as I could, giggling and gasping for air.

"Never!" I vowed in between fits of laughter.

After what seemed like too short of a time, Ian let me go, taking a deep breath. "Fine. Ugh, you're such a swamp monster!"

[Okay, so to me it seems like Amy suddenly likes Ian now. In the previous chapter, the way you wrote made it seem as though Amy absolutely loathed him so reading this, I feel slightly confused. If your intention was to introduce feelings between the two something should've happened prior to this chapter to spark that feeling. Right now, it seems rushed suddenly]

I rolled my eyes, tugging on his arm. "Okay, let's go inside now. I'll even let you see the swamp bedroom."

Ian pursed his lips. "I'd still feel uncomfortable."

I tried to find some composure inside me. Finally, I managed to stifle my laughter. The evening air was cold, and I wasn't wearing any thick clothes. I shuddered. "Don't worry," I said through a dark smile. "No one has a problem with Davy. Only with me." I gestured at the house. When he still wavered I finally snapped. "Look, it's cool, okay? No one has a problem with you. In fact, Mom probably missed you, and I'm cold, so let's go inside!" I stomped my foot. It wasn't as affective as I wanted it to be.

He ruffled my hair again, pushing my head lightly aside. "Fine."

We walked up the paved road to my house silently. I cursed under my breath, rubbing my arms again. Why did it have to be so cold? Ugh. I hoped I wouldn’t catch a cold [repetition of 'cold'. Try to use a different word]

"You're not wearing any shoes," Ian said suddenly, his tone surprised. He was staring down at my pink toes.

"I always walk barefoot at home. And since someone threw pebbles at my window…" I added gruffly.

Ian raised both eyebrows in surprise. "I thought you'd wear something, of course you'd get cold." He took a step closer to me, blocking my way.

"Ian," I began to complain, but he took both my hands in his. His hands were large, a bit rugged, and most of all, warm. It felt so nice.

"See?" he said softly. "You're freezing. You'll get sick." [I'm not really understanding this. All they have to do is get back inside the house and it'll be warm again. Why does Ian have to rub her hands?]

I weakly tried to pull my hands out but he wouldn't let me. I hid my face in my bangs. "Swamp monsters don't get sick," I whispered back. Something about his eyes was strange tonight. The look he had made my heart pick up speed inside my chest. [Again, I'm totally not getting the sudden surge of love between these two]

Ian smiled faintly. "I can argue with that," he said as he let go of my hands. I breathed again, taking a timid step forward.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa – who said I'm letting you walk?" Ian protested.

I giggled. "Don't be ridiculous, Ian. I'm seriously cold now so let's just hurry."

Ian grinned. "I'm serious." He pressed his hand to the small of my back, bending down to pick me off my feet.
Even though it was obvious, my mind went blank for a minute. Don't tell me he was trying to hold me? "Ian!" I shrieked. "What are you doing?!"

He paused. "Trust me for a sec, will you? Don't be scared." He lifted me off the ground.

I held onto his shoulders involuntarily. Had they always been so wide? I blushed scarlet, feeling my heart pound. "Ian, you idiot – put me down!"

Ian's hands were firm on my back and legs, reassuring. "I won't let you fall," he said confidently.

Of course I already knew that, he didn't even have to say it. This could be unhealthy for him: I might be heavy, and something will go wrong with his back. He continued to walk with me in his arms, carried like a princess as I fretted. "Put me down!" I demanded.

Ian looked confused, though I couldn't catch a good glimpse of his face. Maybe he finally heard the panic in my voice. "Why? What are you worried about? I already told you, I'm not going to let you fa-"

"I don't care about that part! I'm worried about you! You might get hurt…" My voice trailed. This was just too embarrassing. I hid my face in his chest. "Just get me home, Ian." [Aren't they just supposed to be outside Amy's house?]

Ian laughed. His chest shook with his laughter. It tickled. "Okay, swamp monster."

He set me on my feet, surprisingly gently, next to the door. He was grinning. I bared my teeth at him, doing my best to look menacing. "Never, do, that, again," I said through my teeth.

Ian's grin widened. "Mademoiselle?" He gestured at the door.

I pouted, looking for some way to make the mood lighter. I was still feeling so embarrassed. "Stop showing off your French. I know I got a D." Ian shook with laughter as we walked in, so it seemed like I succeeded.

"Amy, you there?" my mom called from the kitchen. I grabbed Ian's hand, fear overcoming my awkwardness, just in case he'd try to run away. Like hell was I facing her alone.

"Coming!" I called as I dragged him along. It wasn't the easiest task, since he didn't really want to go, but I finally managed. "Mom, Ian's staying over for dinner," I said as soon as we entered the kitchen.

Mom turned around with a genuine smile on her face. Ian gave her a quick hug, glaring at me behind her back. "Revenge," I mouthed at him.

"How have you been doing?" Mom asked as she turned back to the pots on the stove. I leaned on the countertop. The food actually smelled okay today.

"I've been doing well, thanks." Ian smiled weakly. "And you?"

Mom added some spices to one of the pots. "Oh, nothing special, you know. I haven’t been seeing you around lately…"

Dangerous topic. I snatched Ian's arm before this conversation could go any further. "We're upstairs, Mom, if you need us," I said quickly, already halfway out the kitchen.

"You two have fun now!" Mom called after us.

Only when we were safely in my room with the door closed did I let myself calm down. "I told you she missed you." I flopped down on the bed. Ian sat down next to me.

"Dinner?" he asked me, incredulous. "That's just playing dirty."

"Hey, you earned it." I leaned on my pillow, taking a big breath. It was so cold before, and now it was suddenly warm. I snuggled there for a second.

"I still have to thank you," Ian said numbly. It sounded like he was dosing off too.

"What for?" I murmured.

"A hysteric Davy is a really funny thing to watch."

I raised my head from the pillow, glaring at him. "It wasn't my fault. And he had it coming."

Ian chuckled softly. My head slowly fell back to the pillow. "I wasn't accusing anyone. I had fun at the hospital today."

"'Course you did." I yawned. "No nurse cut your hair."

Ian leaned his head next to mine. "Yep. Apparently my hair isn't that dangerous. Swamp monsters are more of a menace."

I hummed. My fingertips were going numb. "I better go," Ian muttered.

"Hmm…" was all I could summon. I closed my eyes one last time and everything sunk into a nice cozy darkness.

"Ian!" Laney's voice woke me up. "Amy, you too! Dinner!" I slowly rose out of the bed.

Ian stretched and rolled over on the bed. "Tell Mom… I'm not hungry," he muttered, eyes still closed.

"Ian?" I asked through a giggle. I rubbed my eyes, remembering what must've happened. A bit awkward, but it was still alright. Nothing happened, after all.

Ian's eyes flew open at the sound of my voice. "Amy? We fell asleep?"

"Must have," I replied, getting up and stretching. It was a nice enough nap. "Let's go, dinner is served."

Ian's cheeks were rosy pink. "Right. Dinner, that's… yeah."

I ran a hand through my hair, hoping to tame it a bit. I laughed at Ian's messy hair. "It's sticking all over," I sighed, half in amusement half in frustration. I walked up to him and tried smoothing it with my hand. It didn't work. "Try to brush it once in a while," I suggested, walking towards the door. "Ian, are you coming?"

He seemed locked into place, blinking. "Sure."

When we finally got downstairs, all the portions were already served. Dad's seat was empty. "Work?" I asked Mom briefly. She nodded only once before starting to eat. No grace tonight. That meant Mom was probably too tired.

Even though the food looked good it still tasted terrible. I ate half of my plate, feeling all brave about myself. Ian finished the entire plate and politely refused the second helping.

Only when we walked outside did he let his true reaction out. "That was terrible." He shuddered. Somehow, he seemed like he was back to normal. I smiled. "I thought about cutting out my tongue." Ian made a disgusted voice.

Smacking his shoulder, I laughed. "Rookies tend to have that sort of reaction. But you ate everything, that's great."

Ian scratched the back of his head. "I couldn't tell your Mom no. That would've been impolite."

I smacked his shoulder again, lighter this time. "And you can die of being rude, too."

Ian cleared his throat. "Speaking of dying… the hospital is cool, huh?"

I kicked a rock that happened to lye by. "Yeah, it's nice there. Ben is crazy."

Ian stopped short in the street. "Do you like him?" he asked quietly.

"Like who?" I stopped too, staring at him. His cheeks were red again.

"Ben, you swamp monster. Who else would I be talking about?"

I folded my hands across my chest. He was acting all weird again. "What's it to you?"

Ian groaned, turning around. "Ugh, just forget it. I'm going home."

At this, I groaned too. He was so unreasonable. Still, I didn't want him to leave yet. So I did the only thing I thought would help. "Okay, whatever I did, I'm sorry."

Ian turned around slowly. His grey eyes were a bit unfocused. "Nah, that was my fault… I'm sorry too." He slouched, hands deep in his pockets.

I looked him up and down suspiciously. "You're not yourself today." What an understatement.

Ian sighed, rubbing his temples. "Yeah," he managed. "Today is… just messed up."

I thought about Davy, the weird thing at the hospital with Ben, and now this. "Yep," I agreed ruefully. "Today really isn't normal."

Ian closed his eyes and swallowed loudly. "I'm going to kill myself for this," he muttered, and I wasn't sure if he was addressing me. Then he turned around, and I was surprised to see he was grimacing. "I… I think you should talk to Davy."

I felt my muscles harden. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah." Ian nodded, moving the brown hair. "I think he'd really like it, you know, you coming around. And you know how he gets with needles [I'm still not getting the whole needles thing], he was completely freaked. I think you owe him that much." Ian closed his eyes, swallowing again, as if bracing himself for my yelling.

The words pinched my heart like a physical pain. His reaction did too. Davy was scared? "You think he'd want me there?" I whispered. My cheeks were burning, and my gaze was digging a hole into the darkened grass. "You really think he'd want to see me?"

Ian's mouth dropped open. "Are you stupid?" he asked finally. My gaze snapped up, poisonous and deadly. Ian swallowed again. "I meant, as his best friend, I assure you he really, really wants to see you. Really."

"But… he said all those mean stuff at the hospital," I mumbled, checking for a lie in his face. I couldn't find one.

Ian rolled his eyes and shook his head. "He's a dude. You know, as in, a guy. What did you expect him to do, have a long and meaningful conversation about how much he misses you?"

My hands balled up into fists. "He doesn't miss me." Only after I said the words I realized my tone was harsh and my voice shaking. I blinked away a few tears. "He has Anne now. She'll look after him."

Ian just looked at me, his mouth hanging open as if dumbfounded. "You're serious?"

I scowled. "Do I look like I'm joking?"

His grey eyes stared into mine and he half smiled. "Alright, I'll give you that. He has Anne. Fine. You guys are still friends." He paused, then took a step back. "I'm going home." Behind his shoulder, he said, "He'd have come to see you when you're hurting and scared."

I wanted to yell, or cry, or do something. I wanted to scream at Ian's back, "But I was hurting and scared. And he was the one causing it. And he wasn't there."

I wanted to run away.

So I squared my shoulders and sighed. I just had to think that, huh? Running away was bad. Bad, bad, bad. And I wasn't going to do it anymore.

I couldn't believe myself when I said, "Hey, Ian, wait up. Walk me to Davy's place." I took a deep breath. "Just wait a sec, I'm going to go tell my mom."

Ian stopped, back still turned to me. But he was waiting, and that was all I needed.

I sprinted inside the house, cursing under my breath. "Mom, I'm going to Davy's, Ian's walking me," I shouted at the general direction of my parent's bedroom.

"Okay," my mom shouted back. I thought I heard a little smugness in her voice. I ran back outside, stopping next to Ian, huffing.

He raised an amused eyebrow at me. "Walk me to Davy – what?" he asked in a teasing tone.

I sighed again. "Walk me to Davy, please. I can't believe you're making me do this." I shook my head, walking forward.

Ian grinned. "You always fall for guilt."

I punched his shoulder, my stomach lurching at the thought of what I must do now. Oh, great. It was going to be just splendid. I felt sick to my stomach.