Published March 22, 2011
My pain gives you meaning in your time of despair,
Douse my beauty so that another day you can bare.
Beat me with your words, until your abhorrence can no longer be contained,
A new black eye that needs to be explained.
I stay in fear of what the future awaits,
Hiding the agony under my breast plate.
Make-up covering my every sore,
In the end it's my fault, for not walking out the door.
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Canary word: Present
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141,311 Literary Works • 674,341 Reviews
I really like this.
I sort of agree with MiRaCLeS about the 'too short' thing, but if you feel that it's complete, I don't think there's a need to add to it.
If you had titled it with capitol letters, and you only had one question mark, I probably would've been pulled in to read it a lot faster. I opened the link for something to do.
People like good grammar, even if it's only a title.
But excellent writing. I especially loved how at the end, you blamed yourself.
Thanks for the awesome read.
I think that this poem is somewhat short, maybe you could expand on it, add another stanza or two. Maybe explaining why the person doesn't walk out of the door.
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But so far, it's going nicely.
I liked the tone of this poem. Good job on the rhyming too
I really love this. This is my favorite part:
Good job on writing this.