You Know You Have a Crush When....

Thanks guys ^.^

that is so true! the only thing is if you have a crush they don't always crush back. well that's life for you. i think my favorite stanza is the one where you talk about chatting because that rings close to home.

I have to say that I agree with you. You know you love some one when all that happens. I felt it once. But It didn't end well. But the poem you wrote was beautiful.

Hi,
Well I seriously agree with the other reviews in this because I do remember feeling exactly that. I also thought the "..." at the start of each sentence really added something to that, making me moved by the raw emotion and character shown in it. I also agree on that I think you presented it really well, rushing to get the words out and trying to show your emotion which I thought was really good.
Last but not least, like the others it really did make me go "awwwww" at the end ( which is very hard to do) and I thought it was a sweet and moving poem all up.


You know you have a crush when....
 
...When you chat someone,
And when they reply your heart beats so fast and you can barely breathe
Or do anything but smile and try to calm your heart.

...When you stumble on your words,
Because you're trying so hard to make them perfect,
And even when you can't say the words right, they forgive you.

...When they call you beautiful,
And you call them cutie back, and even though
Your heart is still pounding wildly, you keep talking as though calling each other beautiful and cutie were average banter
For people
Who had met
Twice

As if you'd known each other forever.

Thanks
CM

thank you guys! yeah, I know this isn't the most edited, sophisticated, or....great....poem ever, but it's true ^.^ This actually was what I was like chatting my crush on facebook, no matter how cliche it is. Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it )

Good day!
seriously, its really cute. And it made me go awwwwwww too.
the longs lines really clashed well with the shorter ones giving the impression of crush stricken people talking really fast as they're happy and can't seem to resist their excitement in divulging the secrets of " how to know when you have a crush"
you were true at certain points, about the heart beat going faster, about how one doesn't mind hen you can't get the right words out, about trying to make everything sound perfect for the other, about feeling closer to each other they originally are.
a really good poem. I'd leave you to do that.
Puck.

Awwwwwwwwww! This is the best love poem I've read In a while! I'm not buttering you up. This is really good. You spoke the language of crushes everywhere! Brilliant word choice, fluent poetry, just amazing. The way you used the heartbeats was so true to the point. I really liked it, and I'm sure you'll write even more.
Penner.

Good day!

I want to say that I really like this poem- it isn't too long, and it doesn't try too hard, if that makes sense. Sometimes you read work that sounds like it was written by someone copying up a thesaurus, but this sounds genuine and heart-felt, which I like, as it helps the reader to connect with the author.

I also love the physical structure of the second stanza; the way the sentence is broken up like that affects the way you read it, and it sounds to me somewhat like a reluctant admission, although I could well be wrong. It reads like: "...average banter for people... who had met... twice...", the voice fading towards the end. Maybe that's just me.

Anyway, my only pointer (and it's a minor one) is basically grammar. The second line ought, to my mind, to read: "When you chat to someone,".

Also, if you use the ... then do you need the word "When" at the start of every stanza? If the sentence is carried on as the ... indicates, then it reads: "You know you have a crush when When you chat someone," for example. Just a thought, perhaps that's how you intended it- obviously I can't know how you intended it to be read and interpreted.

Overall though, a very sweet and genuine poem, and I think you have a lot of potential! Good luck in all your future writing endeavours

I think this is a cute poem overall. It describes the feeling of having a crush well, and the freeform format captures the scattered mindset you have when you're in crush mode. The theme is definitely overdone, but I think you did a good job of putting your own spin on it. Some more unique details might help it stand out.

In the future, I'd encourage you to try writing about different subjects and themes. Obviously crushes/loves can be a great inspiration for poems, but they also tend to sound similar and fall into cliches. If you can find a unique angle on it, great. If not, try looking at other things and people in your life and seeing what's interesting about them.

And above all else, keep writing!