To all the boys/girls who keep their thoughts unsaid,
About the body that you've been given.
To those who never plead or press,
For private pictures, undriven.
To all the boys/girls who understand,
The power and weight of "no."
To those who never mock,
Of crimes that bring such pain.
To all the boys/girls who couldn't care less,
About the inches that you stand.
To those who dance with gentle touch,
One finger, awkward, but grand.
These are the souls I choose to trust,
Men/Women of respect and grace.
Not takers, but healers they be,
In this complex human race.
(This was written for those men and women who think sex equals love. As some one who has been sexually violated this is something many need to hear. This is my first poem.)
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Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,805 Reviews
Hey there oc3an, Icy here for a somewhat belated review!
I like how you move from the boys/girls imagery at the start of this to the men/women which in this poem seems to be earned by a mindset rather than an age, which is a completely fair perspective.
I'd be interested to see how this would work without the more structured rhyming scheme you've included. I think the messaging is powerful but sometimes it feels more like you've put in a certain word to fit the rhyme scheme. Here for example felt more forced to me
I think the first line in the pair is beautiful but I feel like it's lost with the second one trying to conform to the poem's structure.
I like that you've addressed this poem to all the boys/girls to make it seem like a letter of sorts - I think that really works as a concept.
Thanks for sharing this
Icy
Your poem really spoke to me. I think your title is done so well because it really explains itself once you read the poem. I like how it is formatted in short stanzas and the words at the end of so many of the lines hold such gravity. Please keep writing.
tysmmm
Wow very motovational I LOVE IT DO MORRRRRRRRRRE
valentin3~
Wow, this poem is so powerful! It touches a very sensitive topic and I am glad that it addresses the biggest problems we face today, that some men and women don't understand the "power and weight of 'no.'" To me the first line was very well written; "..who keep their thoughts unsaid about the body that you've been given." I also like how the poem addresses that your body is yours to make decisions with, not anyone else's.
Great job!!
AmberMelanie
TYSMMMM!