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Young Writers Society



I Love You

by ocean_soul13


There must be some easier way to say these words,
but no matter what I try and say, the wrong thing might be heard.
I wish I could be there for you when you need me,
but it will probably not happen today, unfortunately.

I've been thinking over the same words for a while,
but I'm able to say them without you there but always with a smile.
There's always the vulnerability I've always had,
and it really makes me feel kind of sad.

Why can't you be here right now?
I need you, but the question is how.
I really miss your smile,
for it has been such a while.

Every now and again, I feel myself crying at night.
Maybe because I'm falling without a fight.
I want to be with you,
but it's hard because you might not get the clue.

Every night, I close my eyes and it's you I see in my dreams,
I feel like I'm not splitting at my own seams.
But one thing is for sure,
you're always in my heart and I don't want anything more.

Don't get me wrong,
I realize this sounds more like a song.
But everything I've said will always be true,
and I guess this is my way of saying "I Love You"


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User avatar
11 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 11

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Fri Feb 20, 2009 8:02 pm
norm91 says...



I've actually had a problem recently about not being able to express my feelings to this girl, a girl that I think is perfect! This poem was excellent, and one that I definately could relate to!

I loved it!




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21 Reviews


Points: 1551
Reviews: 21

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Fri Feb 20, 2009 7:56 pm
desmerize1819 says...



Hey, Ocean_soul, excellent poem! Your rhyming was alright, although the second line in the second stanza seemed crowded.

It truly is cute...I mean sweet...no, I mean lovely--Wait, I mean, it makes me smiiiiiile.

Good Job!
Keep on Keeping on.




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356 Reviews


Points: 10701
Reviews: 356

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Sat Feb 14, 2009 1:10 pm
*writewatiwant* wrote a review...



Oh.... so sweeeeeeeeeeet!
*smiles* Hi, I'm Kat and I don't have much to say on this one.
I adored it! The rhyming was good, and i did not found any grammar mistakes. But sometimes you use words that don't actually rhyme, just resemble the others.
I would think that due to the fact that this has an irregular line length it would sound weird or out of place. But, incredibly, it didn't. At least for me.
My favorite lines were:

Every now and again, I feel myself crying at night.
Maybe because I'm falling without a fight.


So, that's all I have to say! I'm sure someone else will give you a more helpful review :wink:

*Kat*

Oh and welcome aboard to YWS! Any questions just PM me!





Almost all absurdity of conduct rises from the imitation of those whom we cannot resemble.
— Samuel Johnson