Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
we used to study here.
we used to tell stories about mankind
slowly unconsciously burning the world
that we are rotting with. slowly turning the ground to red.
slowly turning blue.
& these stars in our nights are dead.
& this earth that we live in
is merely a dot of dust
in a universe immeasurable.
and I’m in a state of apathy and
I don’t care about anything of these. &
I usually see shadows lurking in the corner of my eyes at three am
but yesterday I saw you-
I swear it was you
holding a knife,
because I am a breathing compound of
disorders:
a mess; I couldn’t fit in with all your floating
rainbows and butterflies and moonbeams because he
had a better definition of happiness than
you-know-who.
you-know-who is locking himself in a room
still unfurnished,
still grey since the first time you came
and left and painted the right corner
of the room with a color he couldn’t define
yet.
why did you have to leave a mark like that—
why?
at midnight I wake up
staring at that undefined color
telling myself that I never loved you.
but,
I can’t forget your fragrance at 5 am
like burnt cinnamon, like a faded childhood memory
reaching out to kill you.
I can’t forget your footsteps in the evening,
footsteps at midnight, reaching to the door and—
I can’t forget you-
I can’t forget you-
I can’t f-
uck it.
I’m a mess.
and I don’t know
why does everything in my life
seems
un-
fin-
ishe
d
.
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Canary word: Present
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
Wow...I have never read poetry written in this way before. I only have the ability to write poetry that rhymes. I haven't really ventured into non - rhyming poetry, though I do intend to. So to me, if there are any mistakes I would be unable to point them out, though I must say I did enjoy the vibes of raw emotion that I felt through this piece. The instability of it makes it an even better piece to read as you are unable to see where this is really going. I also very much like the use of how that person seemed to be so full of colour and yet without that person there was no colour in your world. The fact that there is emptiness and you could not accommodate all of that brightness.
So yes...I really enjoyed it!
Hey, I'm Howl.
This was truly a beautiful piece. I feel like I can relate in a way. I loved how I could picture it. I do have one question about it, though, why did you repeat a sentence? If you could please tell me why you did that so I could understand it fully, that would be wonderful. I can't wait to read more of your work. Thank you for reading my opinion.
because... I'm a breathing compound of disorders?
jk.
i just like to do that actually.
haha nice.