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Poem "Existence"

by nuwanda


Existence

What is the point of our existence now?

To live, to lie, to suffer ... and die?

Not in this, friend of mine

It has less sense in these lines

In front of the nature drift

The existence of you friend of mine

To live, to vie, to joy … and only then die!


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75 Reviews


Points: 5624
Reviews: 75

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Wed Oct 13, 2021 12:20 am
SadboyJay wrote a review...



hi!! here to drop an review

i would say about this is to me it was short for everyone to read and poems suppose to be like 5 to 4 lines in your poem but this was only like one if you doing poetry you suppose to have like 5 or 4 but this was to short for people to look out and read i i'm tryna to figure out that and really i read it and also i was going to show you what i like in the poem but guess is to short for me

the compliment is this poem was so lovely and the flow that rides with this poem was such impressive work that you had did i know it was short but the rhyme and the flow through that goes when you read it i i'm like dang it is a fine poem or whatever

How did you could of Improve more is writing more than just 1 cause some people on this site like to read a lot on here like everyone loves to read poems but the most people be having them so short that they wouldn't read

Keep Writing impressive work!!

Jay




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57 Reviews


Points: 147
Reviews: 57

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Tue Oct 12, 2021 4:33 pm
vampricone6783 wrote a review...



Lovely poem! Short,but sweet.It teaches us to enjoy life as much as we can,because we’ll never know when it will be taken from us.It’s not too long,it’s just simple,which I feel is appropriate for explaining life.Short,sweet and simple.I enjoyed this poem.I thought it was lovely.I hope you have a good day/night.




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25 Reviews


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Reviews: 25

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Tue Oct 12, 2021 4:04 pm
AriesBookworm wrote a review...



The message of this poem was sweet and simple. Enjoy life. People often forget to enjoy the small things in life. We go through life and try too hard to find happiness, too hard to make other people happy, too hard to go through life with no regrets. Sometimes, we just need to be quiet and look at the small things to enjoy. If we just stop and enjoy life, we'll die with no regrets.

Great poem.




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79 Reviews


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Reviews: 79

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Tue Oct 12, 2021 3:13 pm
AilahEvelynMae wrote a review...



Hi there, Ellie-Mae here for a quick review!

Wishing you a happy day/evening/morning/night/whatever is applicable to your part of the world! First off, please remember that my reviews are my own opinions :) I’ll give honest feedback, but nothing at all is intended to hurt or discourage you in any way at all! <3 So, without waiting any longer, let’s get right into it and digest the spectabulous piece of literary work!

This sure has a lovely flow to it! I love the way that it makes you feel as you read it. It makes me think a lot. It feels smooth and just goes well. It is such an interesting poem, in such a great way though!

Sending you a hug!
Ellie




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42 Reviews


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Reviews: 42

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Tue Oct 12, 2021 1:20 pm
LizzyTyler wrote a review...



Good morning, afternoon, evening, night, or whatever applies to you in your respective time zone. Anyway, onto the review. For a first poem, this was really good! Well, even if it wasn’t your first, it’s still really good. It was well structured, with an interesting topic I myself have pondered many times. I personally enjoy short, lyrical poetry like yours! I can find some poetry long winded, or have to force myself to read it. But not yours. It’s short, it’s sweet, and it gets the point you’re trying to make across.

What is the point of our existence now?

To live, to lie, to suffer ... and die?


I think this was my favorite line. It’s well put together, and it eventually repeats in the last line, tying the whole poem together! The only critique I have is that words “die”, and “mine” almost rhyme, but nothing else does. It’s a little disconcerting, especially when nothing else rhymes. Really, this is just me nit picking, please feel free to change, or not change, your poem as you see fit. Other than that, I really enjoyed your poem, and hope to see more of your work around soon! Stay safe, and keep writing!

P.s. here is a link I’ve found very helpful as a new user. Hope it helps! https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=153&t=94459

-Lizzy




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Tue Oct 12, 2021 11:10 am
nuwanda says...







Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
— Mark Twain