Published August 12, 2011
I could stay and be who you want me to be.
But why can’t I just try to be me?
I’m gonna go out and figure out who I am.
For no other reason than I can.
(Chorus)
It’s not that you don’t care about me—
It’s just that you don’t understand me.
It’s probably as much my fault as yours,
But I still need to go
On my own.
I’m trying to be frank about everything.
Don’t you always tell me to tell you?
So why’s it so hard just to tell you?
‘Cause I don’t want to look bad to you.
(Chorus)
I got to break, I got to fall,
I got to learn it all.
And there are some things you just can’t teach me.
I got to live, I got to try.
I got to learn how to fly.
And I’m sorry, but I can’t do that here.
It’s not that you don’t care about me—
It’s just that you don’t understand me.
It’s probably my fault.
And it’s not that you don’t care.
But I still need to go
On my own.
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138,377 Literary Works • 672,111 Reviews
These lyrics are really good, the message is clear, and they are trying to let their partner know kindly. They remind me of Linkin Park's Numb, but not so harsh on breaking up. The best part (for me anyways) about a song is a powerful message, and you delivered on it wonderfully. Thanks for sharing your lyrics ^.^
Hi, Megan! Great to see you on YWS!
I really enjoyed your song. It sounded unique enough to me that I was interested in its message. Maybe it's the way you phrased it here that made it sound new. Whatever it is, I rather enjoyed reading it. The structure was very pleasing, and that bridge was awesome. I wish I could hear it!
I had a few very minor points to make. They're all up to you though since I don't have the music to decide whether or not they work. Grammatically speaking though, I thought I'd point them out anyway!
I'm not sure why, but I absolutely loved your chorus. The first three lines were kind of parallel? Not really, actually. Just that they were.. I dunno. But it all worked really, really well! The line that I bolded isn't quite phrased as it should be. There are a couple options to go about that:
It's probably as much my fault as it is yours
It's probably my fault as much as it is yours
It's probably my fault and yours <= this one, you could change around a bit according to the rhythm.
Basically, the "it is" is missing in your line. Just play around with it!
The bolded line didn't work well in my brain. I guess it's phrased a bite more amateur than the rest of the song? The "bad" is basically what I didn't like. A new word or phrasing would be nice here, I think!
The bolded line made me reread the bridge here. xD Unless it's referring to the flying, I'm not sure what "that" is in the line. It just sounded empty otherwise.
But like I said, those are nitpicks! Overall, I really enjoyed this song. Great job! *likes*
Keep writing!
Jabber, the One and Only!
Hi there!
I like this. It's original, not like any other 'I'm gonna go out and do my own thing' song I've heard. There were a few spots that I felt it didn't flow as well as it could. My suggestions are in bold:
Great job! PM me if you have questions about anything. Keep writing!