I look up at the sun. How many before me have thought that burning light would purify them? How many have faced the radiant sky, just as I? Yet when she reaches down to place her warm hand against my cheeks, I only want to scurry away and hide where she can’t reach. Not like a rat, scampering to safety. Not following the instinct that has kept me, and all rats that came before me, alive.
No, more like a shadow. Singed. Like a secret on loose lips. The wind breathes, and strokes my hair from my face. She traverses the slopes of my body, as if searching. Perhaps searching for what her sister the Sun has revealed. Under their scrutiny I want to dive into the ground. Crawl down until the weight of the soil holds me tight, and the dark will close my eyes and wrap around me; and the Earth will say “you are home”.
.
.
( ap - away from/absence of, anthrōpos - human, ia - state of/condition; Apanthropia - the state of being away from people, though often translated into the love of solitude or deep dislike of company)
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hello Noridori ^^
I found this line very interesting. I'm sure I won't be able to interpret how you meant the phrase, but anyways- I believe it's about the feeling of insignificance in the crowd, like feeling not so special in a world full of people who seem to be radiant.I really loved your prose, especially the last part.
The title explains the theme of the prose itself (thanks for sharing the meaning to hehe).
I can only say what I loved and found interesting here, I have nothing to say about improvement- it's just delicious :^)
I think the sun and the wind are signifying how we have the impression that life has to be out of the ordinary, out of the comfort zone.
I REALLY loved this one! Mostly because I love dark and small place where I can stuff myself into XD
Overall, your work had a reaaaallly good imagery. I know my interpretations are are not spot on, or maybe not even close. But I still enjoyed reading it.
Thank you for writing! ^^
thank you! my favorite thing about publishing poetry is that people can find slightly different or entirely new meanings in what someone else wrote. it's so fun to see what people come up with, and i love your interpretation!
I find this piece immensely refreshing. There is a poise and gravity that is displayed through each word. I can feel the weight of the thought that was placed into each line. It feels crafted, not forced. The kind of piece that you sit on for a while, and then you finally release it, just to see what people think. Again, I can't say this enough, this is sooooo refreshing. I immensely enjoyed the brevity of the piece; it felt like a thought and was written with immense care. im excited to see your future works.
thank you! that's so sweet, i'm glad you liked it. when i first wrote this i never thought it would see the sunlight (pun intended), and then i rewrote it a little before publishing, so it's been brewing for a little while