It was pretty good, and i actually wrote a story about a girl who was royalty when i was younger and your poem kinda sounds like the story i wrote
Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
Kings and Queens
Royalty from the blood
You say you wanna be them,
But they don't get no love
Yeah they seem fearsome,
Like a God from up above
Can't you see that their servents working so hard,
Yet the King can't even walk across the boulevard,
No you shouldn't want to be this
All they do is sneak dis,
All they know is conflict,
Take care of your own shit,
Man they make me so sick,
If you gonna act like a prince,
Better do it on your own risk,
Stacking dem papers,
Got em dressed just like royalty
Got so much land there's ackers,
But still they got all that disloyalty
Richer than the mayor,
Need to look at their reality
No I'm not hatin
But taton
They keep tryin me
People of all varieties
A beautiful society
You should care more about yourself
And stop cryin to me
You said your not royalty
Quit lying to me
Where's your utility
Stop feeling sorry
I'm tellin you I wouldn't be the man I am today,
People ask me would I go back,
Oh no, no way
I know you still don't understand, but you haven't given me the chance to say
Stop tryin to be a King, when a king is lower than their servants
Act nice, and be free,
Enjoy the little moments:)
It was pretty good, and i actually wrote a story about a girl who was royalty when i was younger and your poem kinda sounds like the story i wrote
Hello noelani2004! Welcome to YWS! Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review!Give me your soul.
With that aside, I'm not the best at lyrics but here we go!
Bold = grammar and flow issues.
Italics = suggestions and overallStrikethrough = remove
Underline = krazy Kara komments.
This rap has a pretty good message about seeing further than just your social status in life. There was a really good phrase that resonated with me in there too,"If you gonna act like a prince Better do it at your own risk," along with,"...They got all the disloyalty." This is a good representation of how modern day political figures may seem like gods and kings, but in reality they're just normal people with the worlds on their backs, no one to actually help them along the journey of life.
The execution was really nice, at leased the way it sounded in my head, and it sends a good message that I think could help a lot of people these days!
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