z

Young Writers Society



The Football Fraud

by nickelodeon


If I didn’t foster such contempt for cheerleaders as a whole, I might have actually felt sorry for Jenny in the weeks following the publication. My nagging conscience incessantly reminded me that I was responsible for casting light on her impeachment, the destruction of the cheer hierarchy, and the crushing defeat at the regional competition. Little heed was paid to my morals. I was still preoccupied with the football fake.

“Just tell me if you have a C average,” I begged, straining my neck to look Matt in the eyes, as I had done seemingly a million times since the beginning of the month.

“NO!” He exploded,”I’m not going to tell you my grades! Just go away already!” Anger emphasized his words, letting loose a fierceness he had never before used with me. It was a finality that even a determined journalist had to accept.

“Plan B,” I whispered, throwing myself into a straight-backed library chair.

“Which is?” Chelsea countered, her brown eyes raised in amusement.

l breathed deeply, staring blankly towards the librarian’s desk and arguing with my conscience silently.

“Check his Internet ReportCard.”

Chelsea’s mouth gaped slightly, a look of shock plastered across her face. “This is going way too far,” she announced, “Just how are you going to get your hands on his Internet password? I’m not going to help you with this anymore.”

“But I need you to help me find his password!” I begged.

“No.” She had the same finality as Matt.

My mouth twisted into a disappointed pout while I gathered my books and left the silence of the library. I looked back hopefully. Her mouth was a set line, her eyes cold, and not a look of remorse was visible.

Katie was not easily distracted from the hackey sack game that had formed in the main hallway. Still cheering, she reluctantly broke away from the circle of onlookers and followed me into the girls’ bathroom, where we had so often in the past gossiped and giggled.

“What’s up?” she asked, now that I had her full attention.

“Ok, you know how you’re in one of Matt Faron’s classes?”

“Yeah,” she spoke slowly and deliberately, “Do you like him?”

“NO!”

She smirked knowingly.

“Really, I don’t. I need you to help me find his password for his internet ReportCard account. You know, where all his grades on every assignment are listed?” I added, in response to her blank look.

“Yeah,” she laughed, “I know what you mean. Why?”

A brief explanation was all that was needed before she consented. I outlined the plan for her, focusing on her role of the helpless, innocent blonde.

“You’re sneaky,” she complimented, “I never would have thought of that.”

Chelsea’s defiance replayed itself in my head. My stomach tightened, leaving me to wonder if I should have thought of this.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
820 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 820

Donate
Fri Mar 09, 2007 12:33 pm
Myth wrote a review...



Try not to use capital letters as you did for:

“NO!”


The exclamation pretty much shows her shouting or her shock.

Sometimes you capitalise Internet and other times you don’t, remember to keep it the same throughout the piece. Something you seem to continue doing is not spacing when beginning a sentence or after dialogue.

I find her repeating the whole ‘C average grade’ annoying, can’t she just say, “Do you get C grades?” or something else along that line.

I think you could work a little on the characters. Delia is the only person I can really picture, everyone else is just blurry because there isn’t anything about them that sets them apart.

For example, Katie is in Matt’s class, but why does Delia go to her? Is she a hacker or some sort? Does Matt get along with her and so she convinces him to tell her his grades?

-- Myth




User avatar
187 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 187

Donate
Fri Mar 09, 2007 8:50 am
Ofour says...



This was well written, I coudn't find any grammatical or spelling errors. Your style is nice, very fluent. I enjoyed this, it's not up my street but I still found it very good.





The greatest part of a writer’s time is spent in reading, in order to write; a man will turn over half a library to make one book.
— Samuel Johnson