Snow White Parody Play

August 31, 2012
Script
Film · Humor

Snow: I need tissues, like, right NOW!
Boy: Coming, your highness.
(Snow takes the tissue)
Snow: That's more like it. I suppose I should say thank you, but because you were so slow, I decided not to.
(Snow wipes her hands on the tissue.)
Snow: Wait a minute…..(Sniffs tissue)Is this apple-scented?You know what apples do to me! Are you trying to kill me? You're fired!
Boy: No please, don't fire me! I have ten mouths to feed at home, and another sickly mother to take care of, and my father recently died so I need funeral fees. So you can't fire me!
Snow: Sorry, did I hear you say "can't"? There is nothing I can't do! Now go away! Don't worry me with your petty problems! Worry makes me get wrinkles, you know.
Narrator: I'm sorry, did you not expect this when you saw "Snow White"? Were you perhaps thinking that it would be that bird-calling, animal-loving, "hi-ho" sweet Snow? Well, get real. This is the story. The one hundred percent truthful one. Of course Disney couldn't have shown such a terrible role model to the children, but I have no problem telling you the truth. Snow White was nasty, as in evil step-sister nasty. Also…….(Hear murmuring in the background) Oh, really? Sorry, my boss said I held you up to long, so back to the story, I guess.
Woman: Welcome, welcome. The time has come for the annual battle between talents. Every year, fifty girls are chosen to compete in a beauty pageant and fifty boys are chosen to compete in a talent competition. The winner will receive one million dollars, while the losers have to pay three thousand dollars each. Understood?
Everybody: Understood.
Woman: Ladies first. Susan Mcdonald!
(On screen shows the words: forty-eight names later)
Snow: I must be chosen. A beauty like me must be admired by many. I will win it for sure, then give maybe one thousand dollars to charity, making me "nice" as well. Oh, I want to smile just at the thought of it!
Woman: Okay, the last girl is…….Redrose Everbean!
Redrose and Snow: No!
Redrose: I don't have the money……
Snow: Besides, no way will she win.
Snow: I volunteer! I volunteer to be a contestant!
Woman: Ooh, a volunteer! Come on up! Ladies and gentlemen, here are your 50 girls. Now for the boys…..
(On screen shows the words: 50 boys later…)
Woman: Happy birthday to all, and may odds be never in your favor. Ciao!
(Change scene to pageant)
Woman: The annual beauty pageant begins now! The fifty ladies will walk up and introduce themselves very quickly, then we'll move to the questioning, and finally the talent. The judges would decide the winner and runner-ups at the end.
(Show judges)
(Play an up-beat music)
Snow: I'm Snow White and I love beauty products!
Susan: Hi y'all! I'm Susan Mcdonald and I love helping out at the animal shelter!
(Interview time)
Interviewer: What are your thoughts on using animals to test cosmetics?
Snow: Of course they should use animals!
Audience: Boo! Boo!
Snow: Um…..Tha-that was a joke. It was only a joke. You shouldn't use animals to test cosmetics because…erm…..they are very cute and cuddly and….um….look over there!
(Everybody looks while somebody holds up a sign saying:We should respect every life, no matter how small. That is kindness and humanity.)
Snow: We should respect every life, no matter how small. That is kindness and humanity.
(Audience claps)
(Judges look at one another and nod, then they each hold up a sign writing: 10)
Woman: Wow! Full score! It seems that Snow White's humor and philosophy played well with the judges.
Interviewer: If there was one thing you could have in the world, what and why?
Susan: Definetly world peace. With no wars, I believe we would all be happier and more united. The world is like a ship, only if everybody works together in harmony would we be able to arrive home safely.
(All judges raise a "10")
Woman: Two full scores in one night! Amazing! Now it looks like the competition is mainly between Susan Mcdonald and Snow White. Who will win? It's all up to the talent section now!
(Scene goes to talent section)
Woman: Next is (hold out the "s" in "is") Susan Mcdonald lip-singing the hit song by Bruno Mars, "Grenade"!
(Susan Mcdonald lip sings while the song plays in the background)
Woman: Finally, the last contestant of the day is (drumroll in the background) Snow White performing perfume smelling!
(Shows a long table lined with many different bottles side-by-side)
(Snow White sniffs one and says the name: Calvin Klein, Gucci, Chanel, Lancome, (screen show: awhile later)
(Snow is sniffing the last one and says): Vera Wang!
Woman: One hundred percent correct! Now everybody please listen, for we are going to announce the winners! (receives and opens and envelope) Third place goes to Irma Eraser! The runner-up is Snow White! And the winner is…….Oh my goodness! It's Susan Mcdonald!!
Snow White: What!! Impossible! I'll just have to finish her off I suppose.
(Snow White pushes Susan off the stage)
Snow: There! Guessing from the force I..I mean..someone else pushed her, she's had amnesia. Now it wouldn't be good for a person with amnesia to receive the crown, right? So I think it should be given to me, the runner-up!
(Snow takes the crown)
Snow: Good day and good bye.
(In the palace)
Snow: What?! You, you want to get a divorce with me?
Prince: Yeah, like, sorry dude, but I, like,made a bet with my dude friends. I told them, "Dude, Snow is gonna get first place." And they were all "she's gonna get second!" So we made a bet. If I won, I would get a castle, and if I lost, I would give them a castle. But, since you like, kinda got second and kinda got first, we came to a compromise. I get a divorce and a castle.
Snow: Well, fine. I don't care. Just give me the other castle and a lifetime supply of makeup and lots of servants. I have money, so I don't need yours.
(Prince moves his fingers as if counting)
Snow: Believe me, it's a good deal.
Prince: Okay then dude.
(Scene changes)
Man: I now officially announce you divorced!
(Scene changes)
Snow: Ha! My own castle! That dimwitted prince was no match for me, the beautiful and clever beauty queen. (Snow drops as banana peel) Oops. Oh well, the servant will get it. (Skips away)
(Screen shows: 10 days later, then a picture of the banana peel)
(Snow comes running, then slips on the banana peel)
(Change scene)
Doctor: You have amnesia.
Snow: Amnesia? Really? Who would've thought? I feel fine, so I'll just go. Bye!
Narrator: And because of a fateful banana peel, Snow White became the Snow White widely known today. Her admirers changed the original story because they just loved her so much. It was lucky you have this story here. So, bye! Oh, wait. My boss told me that I left something out. You might be wondering why the banana didn't grow mold or get really gross. Well, here's why.
(A servant looks around and secretly exchanges the banana peel on the ground for a fresh one)
(A different servant looks around and secretly exchanges the banana peel on the ground for a fresh one)
(A different servant looks around and secretly exchanges the banana peel on the ground for a fresh one)
(A different servant looks around and secretly exchanges the banana peel on the ground for a fresh one)
(A different servant looks around and secretly exchanges the banana peel on the ground for a fresh one)
(Screen shows:THE END)
(Show credits, including the Bruno Mars song "Grenade")

HolographicLadybug

Review

HolographicLadybug wrote a review · Tue Dec 15, 2015 5:41 pm

Ah, I love fractured fairytales. I especially love the narrator because they were a little snappy about the Disney version of Snow White.
You've told a full story and did not leave anything out, which is good, especially with a play this short. You've done a very good job with that.
I also like the banana peel part. Heh. Funny.

Stay awesome!
~Holographic Ladybug

mb1221

Review

mb1221 wrote a review · Thu Oct 18, 2012 12:53 am

Really nice and enjoyable parody... I love parodies and this made me smile! I liked the way the prince calls snow white "dude" Though, I think that you could have done less scene changes, or extend the scenario in each scene for example, this scene was too short:
Prince: Okay then dude.
(Scene changes)
Man: I now officially announce you divorced!
(Scene changes)

It was just a friendly comment of mine. Despite this, I really enjoyed reading it. Thanks for writing and sharing

Epicdonkalous

Review

Epicdonkalous wrote a review · Fri Aug 31, 2012 5:48 pm

Hey there!

I always love a good parody, especially Disney ones. I like how you chose Snow White, considering she is so well known. On the downside, I didn't find this original. By original, I feel like every parody of anyone good is making them mean....I think you could have kept her personality similar, yet still added the humor that makes a parody, a parody. That being said, even though I didn't care for the personality change, I did like that you tied her being mean to her being nice by using a banana peel. Though some view a banana peel as outdated and overdone, I think that it was a clever way to use classic humor that everyone knows. I didn't notice any grammatical or spelling errors, so good on you for that. I did enjoy the personality ( or lack of) of the prince. Even if it was slight, I think that it added to the overall effect. All in all, keep writing parodies, but mind the typical-changes!

~Epic

newraven

newraven replied · Sat Sep 01, 2012 4:37 am

Thank you so much! I'll keep that in mind when I do my next one.

Snow White Parody Play

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