Young Writers Society

Hi,

Welcome to YWS! You make some interesting points here, and I love how you consider all the different angles. As a whole, it flows well, with a clear beginning and end. My favourite parts were;

"For some, loss hurts so badly they don’t even recognize it is there."

and

"The simplest way to explain it is that people are lost without loss."

I agree that the layout makes it a little difficult to read. If you're ever unsure about how to lay out a poem, I find it helps to read it aloud and start a new line whenever you pause, or need to take a breath. I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to show you one possible way of laying it out;

"Loss can exist in many different forms.
For some, loss hurts so badly
they don’t even recognize it is there.
Others, who experience loss,
try to push it away by keeping themselves
so busy that they can’t think about
what they are feeling.
They experience so much loss
that it is constantly with them throughout their lives.
They can never truly let go of their loss
or have a life worth living.
Some think of loss as a chance to get attention.
I think, as a human being,
that a lot of us react to loss
by thinking how sad we are
and how the situation affects us
instead of the ones who are deeply affected.
Sadly, a lot of us react in this way
because we want to be affected even more.
As odd as this sounds,
people take advantage of loss
and use it as a way to connect to other people
if they have been alone for most of their lives.
The simplest way to explain it
is that people are lost without loss.
Loss is a part
of every human being on earth,
even if we don’t know it.
Loss makes us the way we are,
and whether or not we believe it now, (I'd cut the comma as you don't really need it)
doesn’t matter
because we will discover it
along the way."

Hope this helps.

Jas

Honestly, dooeywhateveryournameis up there! How can you be so harsh? I'm sure she either didn't know, or will get to it as soon as she can.

Geez, just massacre her, why don't you?



Anyways, nevez, perhaps try writing it in poetry form, if you intend to post your work in the poetry section. If you don't know what that is, just take a look at other poems on here. all you need to do is type one line, hit enter once and go to the next one. If you want to make another stanza, just hit enter twice. (if you didn't know how )

If you decide to edit this, I will come back and provide a much better critique

I do hope one eye hasn't scared you off!

XoXo~AsH

This isn't poetry. Why did you post it here? Honestly, I don't know why I even bothered to read it. This should be marked for deletion, or at least moved.

You should also read up on our rules. You are to have made two reviews before you post any work of your own. This isn't a very stringent restriction, so if you intend to be part of the YWS community I'm sure you won't mind abiding by it.