Young Writers Society

Today was the day I'd been waiting for my whole life. You knew that. You saw it every time you looked into my eyes.

Today was meant to be the best day of my life. they all said how lucky I was to have you. I agreed. Now they say how lucky I am to have him. Still, I agree, though we both know I'm lying.

When I walk down the isle at twelve minutes past two, I imagine your face, waiting for me at the other end. This time, I shall be lying to myself, not to others. I tell myself this is what you would ahve wanted, for me to be happy. You told me that before you left. They were the last words I heard escape from your lips. Why couldn't you have stayed one more minute? Maybe you would have seen the man...the knife...maybes are no use any more.

I walk down the aisle and I see him waiting for me; love is in his eyes, but not in mine. Mine still hold grief, I fear they always will.

He loves me, I tell myself. I love him, I lie again. I can pretend for you. I can pretend. You are the only one who knows I can. I am pretending, I whispered to your grave thirteen days ago. Though that is another fear of mine, that someone will find this out, that I am pretending.

I hear the vicar welcome the congregation and wish I could turn around to find your face, with that awkward smile, staring down at me. I shake that thought from my mind, today is not the day.

Today, none of that will happen. Today, I shall marry him for you. You aren't coming back, so I must move forward. I shall marry the man who loves me, though that man is not you. It doesn't quite fit, but you told me once that sometimes you can make out the picture of the puzzle, even if a piece is missing.

I tell myself it isn't that easy, but I only have to say two words today, 'I do'.

As I say them, there is no turning back. The ring is placed on my finger and I realise this is the end of us.

The tears running softly down my face are not those of joy, as the people before me think. They are the remnants of our love, washing away into the mist of gried that enshrines me.

Today should have been a day for us. Instead it is a day for me alone. Though our love is no longer possible, my friend, I shall never forget you. Every time I visit your resting place I shall remind you of that. Every time I turn to face the stars on a sleepless night, I shall remind you of that. I promise, you shall never be forgotten.