If you've ever played basketball, you'd know that dribbling the ball has to have a certain limit to the height you can bounce it. There is a rule, that the ball must bounce at a medium length to ensure it does not get out of hand. Basketball is, in a way, similar to a heart.
You have to be sure that you keep your heart in check,
Too high, and you'll lose control of your emotions.
Too low, and the basketball,
Your heart,
Stops beating.
But, unlike a basketball,
You can't pick your heart up again.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Since I have played basketball I understand your terms. I have a slight connection with this poem and it could be stronger. I think if you added some details or lengthened it just a bit it world be a lot stronger! I love this not only because I get it but because I have gone through this at one point in my life. Keep up the good work!!
For this being compared to a basketball this piece is rather depressing. This is something a couples counselor would say to a doomed couple. This piece is very well written on the other hand and it has great compatibility and its a great analogy. It seems alot like a statement and I can't help but feel it should have had more of a poetic touch, I felt like it was lacking just a tiny bit. Nonetheless i liked it and the funny thing is I hate basketball.
The Messenger Knight here to review for you, and KotGR.
So, I really liked this piece. It was well written, and I liked how you transitioned from paragraph to poem style when you changed the tone of the story/message. This was a beautiful job of metaphoric language, and since I play basketball I totally related. Alexiss pointed out your little typo, and I didn't see anything else. I wish I could be more helpful, but stick with the good work, and can't wait to see more of your writing!
Keep it up!
I like this piece a lot, the way you connect the two unlike things; a basket ball, I did notice one typo! "if you've evr played basketball..." needs to be ever ! this is so simple. and like a lot of poems this has a lot of emotion. You talk about how if you mess up it changes everything! Keep up the good work! I like your writing style 100/100 !
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- Alexiss !(: