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FAMPO, MARIA BERNADINE M.
T1B
The Unveiling of the Disguise
Going back from the past, everything that surrounds us were very plain. Products were just very simple. Every fruit of human labor is given importance. Due to the excellence of mankind, another era was born. This is the Modernization Era, which brought an innovation around the globe in many aspects. Progression on Education, Transportation, and Communication are some of the evidences of this change. Despite of these positive outcomes, have you ever wonder what might be the consequences behind it? I believe that we must also consider the detrimental returns that might put us into risk. Despite its positive influences, technology can cause health, environmental, and societal problems which concerns us
Too much use of technology leads us to multiple kinds of indispositions on our bodies like obesity, eyesight problems, and infertility. First, obesity is a condition characterized by the excessive accumulation and storage of fat in the body. Living a sedentary lifestyle or lack of exercise and having an improper diet are some factors that may end up into various kinds of diseases such as diabetes, high-blood pressure and high-cholesterol levels. According to Permanente (2013), people in America considers obesity as a serious problem among children and teenagers that is why schools all over the world were bothered about this matter. They draw an inference that obesity at an early age is caused by the frequent use of children on gadgets instead of playing outside and enjoying the heat of the sun. Secondly, defective vision is obtained due to excessive use of computer, television, tablets, and other related devices. Too much exposure to these gadgets will make our eyes dry which is not healthful. Third, the use of hands-free devices like the Bluetooth on our cellphones can cause infertility especially on men. “This is caused by the radiofrequency electromagnetic waves that is released by the phones that can damage the motility and the viability of the sperm cells.”(Mann, 2008). According to the studies in Ohio, the nearer the exposure of the male reproductive organ to the cellphone, the greater chances of sperm damage will exist.
The environment we are living on is also deteriorated by the continuous modernization. One of the evidences is the contamination on different bodies of water. It is caused by solid wastes that are just thrown upon the river and the sea and also, the irresponsible disposal of hazardous chemicals by the different factories. This will lead to the extinction of aquatic species that are essential to human livelihood. Likewise, it will result to the spread of diseases to people, disruption of food chains, and the worst is, the destruction of the ecosystem. Another evidence is the green-house effect which is also brings trouble to our environment. Even though it is a natural process for the warming of our planet, this method turned into a threat because greenhouse gases that is emitted from technology –based inventions (e.g , transportation vehicles and industrial places) are burning fossil fuels, and according to Bombgardner (2013), this will be the cause for the increase of the amount of carbon dioxide compared to the amount of oxygen that must exist in the atmosphere. This will lead to global warming where the ozone layer will be completely destroyed.
Technology also brought problems in the society. One of the best examples is the existence of election fraud in the Philippines. First case is all about the automated election in the Philippines, where the votes are counted by the machine and the summary of votes for each precinct are transferred to the Commission on Elections (COMELEC) through the signal connection. This time, it faced a lot of discrepancies such as, the malfunctioning of the PCOS Machines and the problems on the signals during the transmission. According to Azurin, (2013) a new technology was invented in order to jam signals that can delay the transmission of votes during the election period. Another case is about the political advertisements where only the wealthy people can provide. Usually, the candidates are being elected on their desired positions because of their popularity. People tend to vote only those candidates whom they have recognized through the radio and TV commercials. While the other aspiring candidates who are ready to serve the country wholeheartedly we’re not given the chance to prove themselves. Where is the Justice for this?
Everything has a chance for improvement. However, this progress may not be done faultlessly from what is expected. With the presence of technology, we thought that we are already living in a perfect world. But we must also be aware of its flaws that might put us into a dangerous situation. The manifestation of Technology might be the cause of illness to human kind such as obesity, eyesight problems, and infertility due to radiation. It can also affect our environment in terms of the pollution on the different bodies of water, and the greenhouse effect. Society can be negatively affected by Technology through the different kinds of election frauds. Therefore, Technology can cause health, environmental, and societal problems to which concerns us. I would like to leave a question for you, if you know that you are one of the concerned people for this, would you rather live in the old and natural ways, or you would just like to be a numb and just continue to embrace the latest trend of living without having a second thought of its effects?
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This is a nice essay and very informative!
The title is good! It is a catchy one. I like it! I think you successfully delivered to the readers the ideas that you want to share. You have good sources and you have brought unto us some new ideas which were not totally known by most of us before. Your elaboration of some points is good.

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"I would like to leave a question for you, if you know that you are one of the concerned people for this, would you rather live in the old and natural ways, or you would just like to be a numb and just continue to embrace the latest trend of living without having a second thought of its effects?" It was nice for you to leave a question to your readers' minds and I'm satisfied of the attack that you have used to make your readers think of it.
There might be minor editing on some parts and one of which is that some words were capitalized in the way they shouldn't be. Just be careful with this.
As a whole, your piece is good. Keep up the good work!
Very informative one
Nice essay.
I like how you examined the negative impacts of modern technology, and especially how it's impacting human health. A lot of people tend to glance over how video games, the Internet, and television is affecting not only our physical health but also our mental health. As we move forward, it's important to keep both in mind.
It's also certainly true that modern technology can also cause tremendous environmental problems. Here in the United States, there's one famous incident from a few decades ago where a river in Ohio literally caught on fire due to all the industrial waste in it. However, what eventually cleaned up that river in Ohio was more technology.
But I don't think it's true that a lot of recent problems can be solely blamed on modern technology. River pollution may have been an even bigger problem for ancient societies, and election fraud goes all the way back to ancient Athens. It's also not true that prior to the modern age, technology was simple. The Greeks, for one, developed a very sophisticated analog computing device for navigating that rivals modern instruments.
Essay wise, I think you began this very well, and you have a very good thesis statement that briefly explains the essay. However, one thing that I would do is remove the question at the end. Generally speaking, you should not end an essay with a question. Other than that, very good.
the title was catchy.at first im not interested reading it but i was intrigued what was the essay is about. it was interesting and i wanted to read the whole essay.

i like how you researched on the different topics you have. i also like how broad your essay was, from health to environment and government. i can say that your essay helps us to open our minds to be aware on our surroundings. this essay is great!
the title was catchy.at first im not interested reading it but i was intrigued what was the essay is about. it was interesting and i wanted to read the whole essay.

i like how you researched on the different topics you have. i also like how broad your essay was, from health to environment and government. i can say that your essay helps us to open our minds to be aware on our surroundings. this essay is great!
Nice one. I like your essay. Keep up the good work.
The title is very good. It hooked me