Published July 23, 2011
Sin is overspread
We are walking dead
We are busy running
Our noise is stunning
Who cares for the soul
The body the only goal
I saw the sun shining
When I was dining
I said this is doomsday
A miracle across the bay
Oh Sun how come you broke the dark
I never knew you show at night and spark
Hey Man said the sun don't you know my light
I am here to give you life with my rays even at night
I didn't know you can appear when it is obscure
Please Sun make it all bright cause' you are my cure
I told her don't ever go
Leaving me below
Please keep me high
Beyond the sea and sky
The shining sun said
Don't think only of your bread
Life is more than to achieve
It's mainly meant for us to believe
Then your wounds will be healed
And the layers of sadness are peeled
Noureddine. H
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140,589 Literary Works • 673,543 Reviews
Thank you all for being interested.
The part that seems random to you is merely a depiction of nowadays society. People who are so busy running after material things to the extent that seems stunning. It's somehow like, what they call :" Rat Race"
Absolutely the sun represents hope, light, and wisdom as you said...There is a lot to say about it but It's just fairly enough to me that both of you liked my humble work .
I liked this piece, like the other comment said it is kinda cool the way you personified the sun and had a conversation with it. I thought though, that the sun wasn't neccesarily a loved one so much as someone wiser, someone who gives advice. like, I thought
was just like a piece of advice from someone who doesn't let things worry them. That lets things fall as they might and has no problem leaving things like that. I like that part.
I thought the beginning was a little weak, but effective. It was like you were listing the things that were going wrong in life and worrying about what would happen next, hence the conversation with the sun.
This part seemed a little random to me
I really liked it. Especially the dialouge between the "narrator" and the sun. Very good. I felt it had a second meaning as well. As though the sun wasn't really the sun, but a loved one. I think you disguised that in your poem very well. Good job all in all. Keep up the good work.