Hi there mythh!
General Impressions
My first impression is that the poem seems mysterious. Each stanza seemed to hint at something a little different – “obscurities”, “obstacles”, “shortcomings”, so I kept guessing. Although I read the summary, the first three stanzas seem to build up to something else besides ‘a warm day in December’. It took me a while to figure out what the last line meant in the context of the title. At first, I was very puzzled by the use of the word “tragedy” and it took me a while to realise that it probably referred to ‘yesterday’s cold weather’ and not a specific tragic event that occurred ‘yesterday’.
The themes of the poem seem to be simplicity and nature. The speaker appears to contrast the complications of their own mind ordinarily to the simpler state of mind they have when the weather takes a sudden warmer turn, when they are able to “just” live.
Structure
Something I like about the poem is your use of repetition. The repeated pattern of “It’s ____ to (verb) / The (noun)” over the first three stanzas catches the eye and builds up tension. In that lane, I also like that the title includes the alliteration of three ‘W’s – Warm Winter Wind.
I think the line and stanza structure also works to build up the last lines and ‘point’ of the poem. The first three stanzas all have three lines each, but the last has four – and some longer ones at that, so the reader is naturally drawn to see that one as a big conclusion.
The poem has a consistent voice and tone. The speaker sounds somewhat bitter or sardonic up until the last stanza where they reflect on a more hopeful or at least neutral note. However, it still sounds to me like it’s the same person talking.
Language and Imagery
At times I found it kind of hard to understand the meaning of the lines.
The obscurities,
I wish I had in my mind
What does it mean to wish or want obscurities to be in one’s mind? I wasn’t sure and it didn’t seem to be overtly connected to the next two stanzas, which appear to be about personal flaws or troubles of some kind.
I like the idea of indifference being compared to “smoke” and hubris compared to “fumes”. I think this aspect of the imagery seemed to appear and be over very quickly, so it was hard to connect it to the other images that occur such as “celestial”.
Overall
I thought this was an interesting piece with a good flow as a whole. My suggestions if you’re planning to revise this would be maybe to consider expanding the poem a little bit, so that the different threads of imagery and hints can breathe (the poem seems to try to do a lot in a small space, for example I identified motifs of: obscurity, internal vs external problems, pride, the present moment and then of course, the weather). It might be interesting also to play with reducing the number of motifs and keeping the poem at the same length.
Let me know if you’d like more feedback on something specific, and keep writing!
-Lim
Points: 41664
Reviews: 542
Donate