These words so foreign to my lips.
When will my voice be able to say it?
I hope it will soon come to me,
just like the way it falls from your tongue
Every night i hear its precious truth,
Still I cannot seem to simply speak.
The time you are not around me
It flows like a raging river,
crashing at the shores of people;
their shoes drenched with the phrase.
The strangest part is that it comes from me.
They all appreciate these false words
I remember a time when they were familiar,
passed off with a smile and their truth.
When they fall from my mouth before you,
can you not tell of all their simplicities?
The way my voice carries them lightly,
their faltering steps between what is real.
For now I will respond in silence,
thanking you for your honesty
The reasoning escapes me too;
of why everything is so new to me,
why I lost the ability to be genuine,
why I cannot say "I Love You"
anymore.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,855 Reviews
Very nice poem. I really like the title as well. Since this is obviously a free-style poem, I'm not going to nag about rhythm and patterns, etc. It would almost ruin the poem to make it fit a structure.
As Velvetnight already mention, you need to capitalize certain things and use puctuation when needed, which brings me to my first point.
The period here sort of confuses me. I understand that it's not really part of the next line, so I sort of see why you made a complete stop. On the other hand, this isn't a complete sentence, so the period doesn't really fit. My best guess would be to replace it with a comma, but I'm not really sure. You may be able to get away with leaving out all puctuation after this line.
I really like this line. It makes you think a little bit.
I really would like to know what caused this person to find themselves unable to be genuine. I'm not sure you should tell us, though. I like imagining.
Anyway, excellent poem. I truly hope I was a least a little bit helpful. I look forward to reading more from you!
-Sea-
Okay here's my review:
Let's start with grammar...
Make sure you add punctuations when needed for these
two lines.
You should also capitalize all of your I's.
I would also suggest to capitalize the beginning of
each line. For example:
Also, in line three, I think you can take out the word 'just'
because it's not really needed.
Overall, your grammar is quite excellent.
Your poem was absolutely lovely. I especially liked
the imagery you used in the second stanza.
KEEP WRITING!!!