Jess Draive's friend goes through the prosses of mopeing when she losses a boy friend and I'm not sure if m character on that part is shallow or not...
The girl flipped the long blonde hair out of her face as she brushed a few dried tears from her cheek.
What an awful day! She was trying to get over it but her friends wouldn't let her.
"I can't believe you let that happen!" she heard her friend say lightly, as she sat down.
Her friend sat there with her lacy black, straight hair. Lying flat on her back as the bangs fell over her dark green eyes.
"Ya I'm fine, Draive." Jess said sarcastically.
"Oh, I'm sorry.You sure your good?" Draive asked as she patted her friend on the shoulder. She brushed the hair out of her eyes lightly.
"Ya." she answered with a sigh.
The day had gone very bad and Jess just couldn't stand it.
"I've to go, see you next week!" Jess called over her shoulder as she grabbed her bag and headed for the door out of the school cafiteria.
"See ya!" Draive called.She was going to have to mope around with her friend once again, instead of be her average self and try to get a boyfriend."Hu,"she sighed.
Another month ruined. It wasn't that she didn't like having Jess as a friend it was just that almost every month she would break up with another loser and mope....Mope all the next month! The time she did get to flirt was small. Would she ever get to find a boy just right for her?
She tossed her bag onto her shoulder and just as she reached the door.....Crash!
"Oh I'm so sorry. Are you ok?" Draive asked.
Draive opened her eyes to a mess that had splattered all over the door.... food.She turned to were it's source....
OH! her mind immediately crushed on the young boy. Gorgeous!
He wore an amazing hat that looked like it only would fit on his warm smile. His hair was a choppy act, but it fit she saw of him. His gentle ,moist eyes, his perfectly subtle lips,his cute out fit. That PILOT FOR KITE tee-shirt was big and his unzipped hoody added to the attraction.
"Ya, I'm fine but it doesn't look like my lunch is..." he answered referring to the mess...
"I'm so sorry about that! Can I buy you another one?" she asked. He was cute, that would have to be compensation for her loss in money.
"Oh no you don't have to...." he scratched the back of his head...
________________________________________________________________________
(What will happen next?)(I really have no idea but if this even so much as intrists any of you Ill think about writing more.)
Jess Draive's friend goes through the prosses of mopeing when she losses a boy friend and I'm not sure if m character on that part is shallow or not...
wow i really like your story
it is a straight A plus
you gave a lot of details
you made the characters seem
like they were actually there
well i dont know about everybody
else but it sure did to me
i wonder what will happen next
of yeah but i gotta admit i did
kinda get confused at first I thought
Draives friend was the one who had
lost her boyfriend so if she lost her
boyfriend and wanted to find the
perfect one why didn't she run into
the boy and start flirting blah, blah
well maybe i don't know what i'm
talking about so bye
Ok I swicthed things around but the dry tears..Doesn't any one know that usually when yo've been crying your tears turn cinda crusty?...Anyways thanks. 
All I really noticed was your spelling mistakes. Just check over stuff before you post it. USe spell check, that's what I do. Other than spelling I like this. 
The plot is great. I can't wait to see what happenes next.
Keep writing!
~Rachael
Well, hello there! Call me Sela.
Okay, onto the review!
The girl fliped the long blonde hair out of her face as she brushed a few dried tears from her cheek.
What an awfull day!
she heard her freind scream as she sat down.
Her freind sat there with her lacy black, straight hair. Lying flate on her back as the bangs fell over her dark green eyes.
Jess said sarcasticly.
"I got to go see you next week."
"See ya!" Draive called.She was going to have to mop around with her friend once again insted of be her average self and try to get a boyfriend."Hu!"she sighed.
Draive opened her eyes to a mess all over the back of the door....food.She turned to were it originated....
OH! her mind amediatly crushed on the younge boy. Gourgus!
He wore an amazing hat that looked like it only would fit on his warm looking smile. His hair was a chopy act but it fit every thing she saw of him. His warm,moist eyes,his perfectly suttle pair of lips,his perfict out fit. That PILOT FOR KITE teshirt was big and his unzipped hoody added to the atraction.
"Ya, I'm fine but it doesn't look like my lunch is..." he andwered refering to the mess...
"I'm so sorry about that. Would you mind me buying you another lunch?" she asked.He was cute,that had to count for her loss in money.
"Oh no you don't have to...." he scratched the back of his head...
Ok ya get were your coming from...I just finished up the other mistakes...
All good. 
This is better. There were a few mistakes, but the written work was a lot better than before. Nice job.
"I can't beleive you let that happen!" she heard her freind scream as she sat down.
Her freind sat there with her lacy black,straight hair lay flate on her backas the bangs fell over her dark green eyes.
Draive asked as she patted her friend on the shoulder.She brushed the hair out of her eyes lightly.
Jess called over her shoulder as she grabed her bag and headed for the door out of the school cafiteria.
Another month ruined.It wasn't that she didn't like having Jess as a friend it was just that almost every month she would break up with another loser and mope....Mope all the next month! The time she did get to flirt was small.Whould she ever get to find a boy just right for her?
"Oh I'm so sorry.Are you ok?" Draive asked.
He wore an amazinghat that looked like it only would fit on his warm looking smile.His hair was a chopy act but it fit every thing she saw of him. His warm,moist eyes,his perfectly suttle pair of lips,his perfict out fit.That PILOT FOR KITE teshirt was big and his unzipped hoody added to the atraction.
"I'm so sorry about that. Would you mind me buying you another lunch?"she asked.He was cute..that had to count for her loss in money.
time to check ^_^
What an awfull day!She was trying to get over it but her friends wouldn't let her.
"I can't beleive you let that happen!"she heard her freind scream as she sat down.
"Oh, I'm sorry.You sure your good?"Draive asked as she patted her friend on the shoulder.
"Ya."she answered with a sigh.
The day had gone very bad and Jess just couldn't stnd it.
"I got to go see you next week." Jess called over her shoulder as she grabed her bag and headed for the door out of the school cafiteria.
"See ya!"Draive called.She was going to have to mop around with her friend once again insted of be her average self and try to get a boyfriend."Hu!"she sighed.another month ruened.It wasn't that she didn't like having Jess as a friend it was just that almost every month she would break up with another loser and mop.....mop all the next month! The time she did get to flirt was small.Whould she ever get to find a boy just right for her?
She draged her bag onto her shoulder and just as she reached the door.....Crash!
"Oh I'm so sorry.Are you ok?"Draive asked as she opened her eyes to a mess all over the back of the door....food.She turned to were it originated....
OH! her mind amediatly chimed to the younge boy. Gourgus!
He wore a-so cute-hat that looked like it only would fit on his warm looking smile.His hair was a chopy act but it fit every thing she saw of him. His warm,moist eyes.....his perfectly suttle pair of lips......his perfict out fit.....that PILOT FOR KITE teshirt was big and his unzipped hoody added to the atraction.
"I'm so sorry about that. Would you mind me buying you another lunch?"she asked.He was cute..that had to count for her loss in money.
"Oh no you don't have to...."he scratched the back of his head...
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