I hope you never know, and never feel,
what it is to be lost at sea.
A hopeless journey, like a drifting log,
lost to everyone, especially me.
The tide will turn and carry you in,
but not close enough to reach the shore,
before it changes, and back to sea you return,
more bewildered than you were before.
A storm at sea is little known,
only to those who are in the zone,
a fight for life, a fight to breathe,
you tell yourself you can still believe,
in humankind and a loving heart,
but then you find yourself back at the start.
The drifting log begins to break,
and fall apart within its wake,
becoming splinters on the ocean floor,
the drifting log is no more.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I really liked this poem.
It was pretty in the way that it flowed, you know rhyming and whatnot?
I also really liked that it seemed like a metaphor but it's not completely obvious about what it means at the same time.
Good job.
[quote="mydogbill"]I hope you never know, and never feel,
what it is to be lost at sea.
A hopeless journey, like a drifting log,
lost to everyone, especially me.
The tide will turn and carry you in,
but not close enough to reach the shore,
before it changes, and back to sea you return,
more bewildered than you were before.>>> [b]this line seems, strange to me.[b]
A storm at sea is little known,
only to those who are in the zone,>>>[/b] I like this right here.
a fight for life, a fight to breathe,
you tell yourself you can still believe,
in humankind and a loving heart,
but then you find yourself back at the start.
The drifting log begins to break,
and fall apart within its wake,
becoming splinters on the ocean floor,
the drifting log is no more.[/quote]
Hello! My name is Max, and I realized you are a new memeber, first off Welcome to YWS!!! Second this is pretty good. Everything think about entering a contest? No? Yes? Just a thought. Well sorry for uh killing you poem there, I thought it was pretty good. I loved how you ended it, very good and full of emotion. I like how you put soul and power into it, it may have taken you three months or three minutes, but I like it.
Anyways good luck, keep writing and again, welcome
-Max