I can grasp the glittering scenery of Swan Lake, the delicate swans in white. I can picture Aurora of Sleeping Beauty gracefully making her way across the stage in glossy, pink pointe shoes. The grand jetés, the pirouettes, the arabesques are all so close. The tutus and crowns, the jitter of being backstage, and the amazing feeling of nailing that final move onstage. That's the moment when you know that the blisters, bunions, and bruises are all completely, totally worth it. You know for sure that what your doing now, that's what your supposed to be doing. It's awesome!
It's the same for scoring the goal of the big soccer game, adding the finish touches to your greatest painting, reaching that finish line first, and completing your first perfect violin piece. You know then that everything was worth it!
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,815 Reviews
Hi there, Roxy here!
Like winterbites, Im not a dancer myself, but I can still relate to it, kudos to you!
I wish that you got a bit more personal with it, describe the blinding seconds before you go on and the exploding happiness when you have nailed it, as you put it!
I really enjoyed the piece and I think that you could get some more into it, little descriptions of details that you notice ect
Hope you keep it up!
Firstly, I have never been a dance and reading this is making me glad I'm not. Not that your writing is bad, I quite like it. I'm one of those girls, who is more into punk, metal and rock. With the band tee's, black eyeliner, black finger nails, dark posters of amazing bands. But as I always say, each to their own. Right.
But, I am here to review this piece. At first, I though, this would make a great poem, I still do.
It was easy to read with only a few errors, but not really any major ones.
" I can picture Aurora of Sleeping Beauty"
I wasn't too sure if the "Of" was meant to be "Off." I personally think making it "Off" would sound better and make it flow.
" pink pointe shoes."
Now, this is a simply error, that is easy done. It just needs to be fixed to "Pointed" and there, done.
"The tutus and crowns, the jitter of being backstage, and the amazing feeling of nailing that final move onstage."
I just LOVED this, it was beautifully put, as I read over it, I had to read it again, and again, I loved it so much. I love how you made it rhyme, just amazing.
"You know for sure that what your doing now, that's what your supposed to be doing. You know for sure that what your doing now, that's what your supposed to be doing. It's awesome!
I didn't really like the part " It's awesome!"
But, this, is your story, and if you liked it, then great! I just see the elegance of the rest of it then that. I just don't think it fits too well.
"It's the same for scoring the goal of the big soccer game, adding the finish touches to your greatest painting, reaching that finish line first, and completing your first perfect violin piece. You know then that everything was worth it!"
I also didn't think the last bit fitting in with it well either.
But, all-round, this was just great. It was easy to read and understand. There was hardly any grammatical errors, which made it so much better to read.
I'm glad I stumbled across this, thank you for writing it so well.
Keep up the great writing!
~Winter
As a dancer as well I can really connect wit this piece. Its the exact feelings! One thing I could say is that the phrase "are all so close" was a little confusing. Did you mean close as in close to one another or close to beginning? The only other thing to suggest would be putting this into the narrative category, but that's not completely required. You go!
Happy Writing!
Thank you so much! I'm happy to have a fellow writer/dancer on here! You make a good point with the "all so close part", I tried to make it almost like I was describing a routine from the wings. Thanks for the ideas!