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What happend to respect?

by mthanmark263


Respect, respect where are you and what  happened to you. You just vanished into thin air, the world needs you. You appear to few of us on this earth  because the majority of people on earth push you away. Every where I go your enemies seem to rule this earth, greed, lust and disrespect. I hate you respect, you left just like that and got me living in this world without you.


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User avatar
105 Reviews


Points: 2247
Reviews: 105

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Thu Jan 16, 2020 10:23 pm
LZPianoGirl wrote a review...



**My Thoughts**

Hey there! LZ here with a review! I personally really liked this paragraph, even though it did have quite a few errors.

**Formatting and Grammar**

As for formatting, there isn't much I can say. I think, if all you are writing is a paragraph, you should indent. That is just my personal opinion though.

Grammar. This is more spelling, but still.

Every where I go your enemies...


There should not be a space in the word "everywhere".

Also, in this sentence:

Every where I go your enemies seem to rule this earth, greed, lust and disrespect.


Maybe do this:

Everywhere I go your enemies rule this Earth with greed, lust, and disrespect!


**Punctuation and Capitalization**

I know you just randomly thought about this, but put some emotion into this. For starters, the first sentence sounds like a question, so put a question mark. The second sentence, you can put an exclamation point! The third sentence sounds a bit off. Consider changing it to:

Respect, you appear to a few of us. The majority of the people on Earth push you away, but we need you!


Capitalization was fine, so good job!

**Quick Review**

Great piece, but there are a couple things you should change.

Keep on writing and have a lovely 2020!




mthanmark263 says...


thanks for the review next time I will focus on grammar. When I find time I will fix it <3



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209 Reviews


Points: 400
Reviews: 209

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Sat Dec 14, 2019 5:17 pm
EverLight wrote a review...



EverLight here with a review! This review is not intended to offend or hurt you or make your novel or poem seem bad, but be warned you may feel offended anyway

First Impression
Finally! Someone who actually thinks about respect! Thank You!

Nitpicks & Grammar
For starters you need to combine the words every and where in this sentence-

Every where I go your enemies seem to rule this earth, greed, lust and disrespect.


And here you missed a comma before the word and-
I go your enemies seem to rule this earth, greed, lust and disrespect.


Respect, respect where are you and what happened to you.

I think you need a question there, instead of a comma.
Other then that you had no issues here. Nice going <3

Style & Flow


You just vanished into thin air, the world needs you. You appear to few of us on this earth because the majority of people on earth push you away.

I feel like your missing a few words here, and I have a feeling that could be better written. Try doing it this way-
You vanished into thin air, and you appear to few, but the world needs you!

Or something along those lines.

Every where I go your enemies seem to rule this earth, greed, lust and disrespect.

What a profound sentence...but again, something about it just doesn't sound right. Maybe try doing it this way-
Everywhere I go I see your enemies, greed, lust, and disrespect ruling the earth


I hate you respect, you left just like that and got me living in this world without you.

I'd switch out the word this, for the word a. It flows better see?-
I hate you respect, you left just like that, and got me living in a world without you.


Other then that I couldn't see any problems

Overall
This was a neat little paragraph, and I'm very pleased to have found someone who thinks about respect <3 Please post again!




mthanmark263 says...


EverLight thanks for helping me with my mistakes <3. it is just something I thought about I didn't really check it nicely for mistake. i haven't really mastered the grammar and language skill still learning, thank god your there to help me fix my mistakes.
oh respect is something that is slowly slipping away I am glad you like it



EverLight says...


Your welcome <3




Half the work that is done in this world is to make things appear what they are not.
— Elias Root Beadle