Published September 2, 2008
A piano is a cheat instrument. That’s not to say that it isn’t difficult to get right, it’s just a hell of a lot safer than the string section of your average orchestra.
If life could be a piano, life would somehow be easier to handle. It could be clear cut, so you knew the rules, you knew where you stood. After all, with these guidelines set out for us centuries ago, suddenly the most imposing of instruments can be mastered. The smug look on the face of the musician only confirms as much.
Life as a piano… Each situation could be a sharp a flat or a natural. Black or white. High or low. Even enveloped in the deepest melancholy of a minor key there could be rules to adhere to.
Life is not a piano. There are no steps to be guided along, no easy jumps to make from one note to the next to the next to the next. In life, there is no get out. In pianos, even if your fingers snap off the right notes and your hands won’t stretch far enough to make a chord with middle c and the e above it there is no disaster. If all else fails, you call it jazz.
Life is no guitar either. Think of guitars. Think of frets. Frets are dependable. Frets are handy. Frets are unavoidable. There isn’t a fret in the world which is out to get you. Frets tell you where to put your soft beginner’s fingers in no uncertain terms. A chord on a guitar begs to be played. Even if you can’t quite tell that to the busker with the cold blue fingers, the one who’s voice doesn’t carry in the sad songs and whose tone is not true enough for the happy ones, guitars are easy.
Life is hard.
If you put a finger wrong, a hand slid a fraction too far then all is ruined, and the sound you make is suddenly meaningless.
Life then, is a cello.
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140,911 Literary Works • 673,730 Reviews
Good one! Kudos to you my dear! Must be a UK thing, lol! But anyway, just when I was getting bored of the monotony of reading teenage romance after teenage romance, you come up with something so different, thought provoking and scarily accurate!
Really enjoyed reading this...if you have anything similar I might just have to have a look at that as well!
Good one! Kudos to you my dear! Must be a UK thing, lol! But anyway, just when I was getting bored of the monotony of reading teenage romance after teenage romance, you come up with something so different, thought provoking and scarily accurate!
Really enjoyed readig this...if you have anything similar I might just have to have a look at that as well!
Thank you for your comments! I was quite pleased considering this is really just a musing which my cello playing friend inspired me to write down. There is now a marginally updated version. I hope to make this into a short story soon (or maybe a poem??) so I guess watch this space. If there are any more suggestions as to how to develop this, please let me hear them!
Hey mtempleton!
Here's my review guide:
red = comments
bold = words I've inserted
blue = comments that don't have to do with critiquing the story
Let's do this thing
Onto my overal.
Frankly, my favorite part of the entire piece was the last two sentences. The rest of the piece just felt a bit flat. I know you were going for metaphorical and stuff, but it came across as a little boring and repetitive. Be more descriptive. Use the word "you" more. Have your audience experiencing everything with you and understanding the comparisons you are making with music and life. Weave a story using the stuff you have here. It's a good outline for an even better second person narrative story. Also, watch out for your transitions. It felt as though you hopped around a bit from paragrapah to paragraph. For example, the line at the end of the paragraph that say "...you call it jazz". YOu should either show us an example of what you mean, but don't jump right into another paragraph that says something about a guitar.
Other than that, good job! Keep up the good work. If you have any questions, PM me!
WOW! i really enjoyed reading this. Firstly, its original and i have not come across anything like it before! The title immediately brought me in because i am keen on music too!
i very much enjoyed it and hope i have been of some help
You have done some great thing in this text and i especially liked the start!
'A piano is a cheat instrument. That’s not to say that it isn’t difficult to get right, it’s just a hell of a lot safer than the string section of your average orchestra.'
The first sentence is powerful, and is also very encouraging for the rest of the piece. the reader is instantly curious to find out further what the point is that you're making!
there was one bit i wasn't sure about but it might just be me. the line...' In life, there is no get out.' I just think that the tone of your piece changed a little with this line. But maybe it IS just me.
Anyhow, this is really awesome!