My Life as a Teenage Dragon
Prologue
You know what I really hate? Waking up in the morning. You know what I hate even more? Waking up on a Monday morning. But there’s still something that I hate the most. It’s waking up on a Monday morning when you’ve fought an evil dragon the previous night.
I…really think that I should tell you the end of my story in the, well…end of my story, 'cause…that’s where it’s supposed to be…sorry.
Now let’s see, how do I start? Ah. This looks promising.
Hi. My name’s Adam Armstrong. No, I’m not related to the first moon landing in any way. But it does put my name in the “Interesting names” list. I’m seventeen years of age. I have an eight year old female monster of a sister.
I live in a small suburban area of a small town called Daunting creek somewhere along the outskirts of Chicago. I know it’s a weird name for a place, but hey I didn’t name it.
Stop judging, it’s just a name. It’s a really small place and most of its expenses are covered by the local hospitals and universities. That’s one of the reasons I really like the town, most of the people here are really smart so there aren’t a lot of wise guys here, another reason why the name is insignificant.
The place is usually very quiet and peaceful, except for occasional supersonic races and monster attacks.
Aw, shoot.
I really need to work on my story telling skills. Let’s just forget that I said anything out of the ordinary and move on with the story.
I go to the local high school, Lime Street high. It’s no Harvard but is pretty decent when my previous schools are concerned; and believe me, I’ve gone through an awful lot of schools.
I’ve been in Daunting since the past two years and it’s still rocking my life, although my first year in the place was not so…well, normal. I came here in the gorgeous fall of daunting. It was one of the weirdest times of my life.
You know what; I think this is where I’m going to start my story, that cool evening of August.
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Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: So this was an interesting piece here. There's certainly a lot of potential in this story and even though you've kept the premise for it fairly vague here, we get enough information that it sounds like it could be a pretty intriguing one here.
Anyway let's get right to it,
This is a very interesting style of prologue right here. I've seen this used a couple of times before in stories and it does never fail to be an entertaining start. I'm already liking the voice of this protagonist here, and the whole dragon situation and how casually it was mentioned definitely catches as a reader. So I'd say, this makes for a nice little start here.
Okay, so we're launching right into a very generic sounding introduction with just names and a sister. The names part is at least somewhat nice to include, it makes for a nice little touch of humor, but the sister part feels a bit unnecessary to include in a prologue. If this was a first chapter, it'd be a different story but this is not.
Hmm...well I'm liking the general storytelling vibe that's going on here at the moment...there's a nice relaxed feel to the bits of backstory that are currently being slowly dumped on us...and I love how the whole monster thing is made to sound like an accidental bit of information.
So this ending that you've gone with here kind of seals the first chapter situation. This doesn't really quite read like a prologue, usually the prologue is expected to be the sort of thing you can avoid reading and still understand the story itself, whereas this seems to be giving off some information that seems like it would matter to the understanding of the story. So umm, if you put this as a first, this is a great start, its definitely catchy, but umm, it doesn't do the job of a prologue.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, this is a nice starting point for a story. You've already get a pretty likeable sounding main character and what seems to be the skeleton of a pretty interesting world here. I'd definitely find myself wanting to read more.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
hey there mrawesome.
I think this is the only sentence that really bothered me. First, may I ask, is this in a fantasy setting? If yes, it's in the wrong forum. Let me know, I can change it. Second of all, you mentioned a dragon from the bat. Then a monster sister. Is she really a monster, or an annoying much younger sister? That is something that should be mentioned.Cool name by the way! Sorry it's taken me so long to get to this, apparently I wasn't getting my usual notifications that I've had a request *sigh* But I'm here now!
First off, I'd like to mention formatting. You need to space up your chapters or it's going to make for a really long read. The easy way to do that is: when you submit a chapter, below the text block, below the submit button, you'll see something written: Special formatting. If you click on 'story', it'll fix it up for you. Easy, eh?
Ok, next. Your MC's voice is really good. I smiled at his voice. Nicely done.
Also, in the last paragraph, you mention Daunting several times which makes it a tad repetitive. Try rearranging it into a smoother flow, ok?
I'm usually not a fan of prologues unless it's absolutely necessary for the story. Not sure this one is, but it amused me because the voice was quite strong and good and because it reminded me of the beginning of the Percy Jackson series. Have you read them?
Anywho, that was it. Hope it helps and I'm off to the first chapter!
Tanya
Woah, well what d'you know, my first review. Thanks!
It seems like it's flowing fast.
I caught this as interesting since I'm writing a short story about a teenage boy who is a dragon.
It seems interesting enough though I will follow you and see what happens in the story.