Karma

I love this one, but there were some parts where the rhythm kinda threw me off, and there were some parts that were a little cliche. But overall, it was a very good poem.
Keep up the good work!

I love the imagery in this.
And the poeticism.
Get rid of the bold font, though.


Listen softly to the voices in my head.

Care to tell me what they say?

I know life isn't always the simplest thing;

Sometimes it is all that you can do not to go insane.


Here is something you can hold,

An island in this sea of tears,

A broken promise's guardian angel,

A haven for lost ones to hear.



Listen to the anthem of the weak.

Let them reach out to your mind.

It is not over 'til the birds start to cry,

And then we'll see who surives.



So take my hand and don't let go;

Just take my deadly roller coaster.

One elevator takes you to the sky,

But stairs will take you somewhat lower.



The proportions of the feastings,

The diamonds are up in the sky.

An apple of the evening comes forth;

One bite and you will die.



I'll show some mercy to your loved ones,

So pray for them to survive.

The bittersweetness of my sorrow.

That way that you can almost fly.



Listen softly to the voices in my head.

Care to tell me what they say?


I corrected some minor punctuation, capitalization, and flow errors.

awesome! i loved it! keep up the good work!

I'd advise getting rid of the bold font as you don't really need it and it's a bit hard on the eyes.

This is a really lovely poem. It flows well and is uplifting without being overly preachy or cringey which is amazing.

I love;

"an island in this sea of tears,"

"It's not over till birds start to cry"

I also liked how you made this circular by bringing the end back to the beginning. It also reflected the "what goes around comes around" theme, which was brilliant.The opening lines, for that matter, really drew me in.

I think the fourth stanza was a bit weak. The rhythm was off, and the rhyme didn't work. I'd change the first line as it was a bit cliche. I think "deadly roller coaster" was a bit out of synch with the rest of the imagery in this poem and I'd avoid the whole "life/rollercoaster" comparison as it's been overdone, and, from your lovely imagery, it seems you're capacble of much better lines than this. I love the third line but think "somewhat lower" in the fourth sounds forced. Also, stairs don't quite work for "lower" as stairs can go either way! Maybe try changing this.

Overall, I really enjoyed this. It was very refreshing.

Hope this helps.

Jas