Young Writers Society

can;t figure it out, sorry. I'm confused. Oh and b y the way it sorta turns people away when it's confusing and you say, "figure it out for yourself." =/ Just seems like you're not open to talking about it or explaining.

otheerwise good job.

She walks in like the dead air.

Musty and still, nothing there.

She smiles, the light bursts…

Yet dies in an instant



She asks about the tree,

cut down last year

“When did they do that?”

So I tell her:



I tell her about

the man in uniform,

his voice like paper birds,

His saw like a lion.



He explained how

he would do it; how he would

systematically and mathematically

sever the giant from limb to limb.



I nodded and laughed,

at his wet-mat jokes

and signed my approval

for my giant’s execution



I walk back inside,

then changed my mind.

So, I sit on the fence

and watch the show



The screaming and crying

The pleading and dying

And bit-by-bit, stick-by-stick

The monster starts to falter



Then it seems, the giant saw me

It groaned as it turned, to watch me

Sitting on the fence, docile to its pain

“Et tu Brute?” Then it fell to its death…



I finish speaking .

Raise my tired head.

She’s asleep on the counter

Tired and dead.



I sometimes wonder

How much she heard

Then I remember

She didn’t hear a word


Some grammar mistakes that I corrected, on the poem, and the Poem is a little confusing, like with the girl... but other than that it is fine. Nice work. You are very, very talented

Wow. Didn't know you could write like that (that's a compliment by the way).

How come you've never showed me anything like this before?

Although you probably won't take anything I say seriously.... I'll still tell you this was really good (at least, I thought so.)

Would you mind answering a few of my questions?

Like, the girl... what was with her? Why was she dead?



Yours truly,

Star