PROLOGUE
Before the journey begins, let me give you a little insight on what the story is about.
This is the land of Midart, ruled by Kings, annointed by Gods.
The Land of Midir is, of course, divided into 4 kingdoms.
The four Kingdoms are as follows:
Gordia- Land of the White Palace
This is the most powerful and strongest kingdom.
Ruled By: Atomias II
Population: 170,000
Soliders: 4,000
Armor: Mildly Strong
Manna- Land of the shining horses
Ruled By: Mercrides
Population 200,000
Soldiers: 1,500
Armor- Strengtened by the passing days
Honus- Land of the Elves.
Ruled By: Elanor
Population: 100,000
Soliders: Protected by magic
Armor: Strong
Mortar- Land Of The Unknown
Ruled By: Lord Reliar
Population: Unknown
Soliders: Unknown
Armor: STRONG
The people of the kingdoms vary as there are man, elves, dwarves, wizards and the people of Mortar (for their race is unknown).
The story lies within the kingdom of Gordia.
And so it begins.
The entire kingdom is celebrating, something magnificent has taken place. A King has been born. Young Prince Arapad has been sent to this world. The son of Atomias, Prince of Gordia, Pride of Midir.
It has been forseen that Arapad will rule the kingdom of Gordia, but it is not certain whether he will rule for the good or he will rule with evil.
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TO BE CONTINUED!
Tell me what you think of my plot. I appreciate both good and bad reviews!
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140,533 Literary Works • 673,403 Reviews
Hi Monster!
As much as I like the sound of this story, it doesn't FEEL like a story. It feels like you're telling us all the facts and not letting us learn it for ourselves. The real challenge of writing is showing your readers what's going on, and giving them all the facts without appearing like you are. For instance, look at these two examples.
or..
See how the second one is easier and more interesting? In the first one, we're introduced to one character, we have no dialogue, no action, just a telling sentence.
In the other sentence, we have dialogue, we're introduced to two characters, and there is also an action.
So, in future, instead of creating lists of what the people are and what they can do, try showing the readers through dialogue, thoughts, flashbacks, dreams and description instead.
For example,
Same information, more interesting context.
Do you get what I'm saying? I'm not saying it wasn't good, I'm just saying that it as a little to facty for me.
If you have any questions, just ask!
~Drama
i understand...it was kinda like an insight of the land...
I like it, it might need like, "he was left a burning castle but doesn't know how powerful he will become"
ok, thanks....