Autumn's veracity

by monsterwithavoid

Published March 26, 2019

12+

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On an October 3rd which held frigid air that nipped at any exposed flesh, A boy named Winter sauntered his way to high school. Winter was a sight to see even though his attire was not special. He wore his black uniform and carried his black bag along with him for the ride, he was born with black hair which was as black as black could get. It matched the coat of a black cat if not more so and it was somewhat wavy and was short as well which I suppose completed the ‘emo’ look described by society. His skin was pale and stood out more because of all the black, but what stood out the most were his eyes. They were beautiful and emphasized courtesy of all the black and his light pale skin. Yes, Winter was an attractive boy in deed worthy of great praise, however, Winter was not just anyone. No indeed, Winter a god of his season name ‘Winter’. When it was time he dominated the earth with his chilly temperatures and icy, and snowy precipitation.

“How beautiful my season is on this earth, I wish it could dominate eternally. It’s such a shame this earth is so pathetic that it’d die from my lovely season.” says Winter as walked on the side walk which again submitted to his ice.

“Man, it’s cold!”

“Yeah I know! I hope spring comes soon!” said two girls who ran to escape Winter, but instead of dismissing it as that it angered him.

“Foolish mortals. They don’t know true beauty if it was in their face.” whispered Winter when he suddenly noticed the irony of it all as his beautiful season was etched around him.

A soft white speck drops in front of him before a whole gang follows and the blue-eyed god realizes that his emotions influenced him again. It wasn’t supposed to snow for another week.

“I let my emotions get to me again.” He whispers, somewhat disappointed at himself for the lack of control.

He was a god. How dare he lower himself to the ways of foolish humans?

Of course, Winter was not just known as a cold season for nothing and that of course applied to the god Winter as well. Winter was a stern, unrelenting, unwelcoming god who had boundaries and anyone who had the audacity to even come close to it might as well freeze in his eternal ice.

When said god finally makes it to school he’s smacked in the face with instant remembrance of why he dreads school.

“Shut it Idiot! You can never hope to be as good as I am!”

That was Summer. Not a boy, but he too was a god of the season of his name ‘Summer’. Oh, how Winter hated him. Summer was an arrogant fool.

“All of you are lucky that I’m allowing you to breathe the same air as I. Such worthless peasants like all you humans cannot even compare to me. Especially you Loki, he who can barely manage to make a C.”

“Summer, you do of course realize that you’re a human to, right?”

“Of course not. I’m a god.”

If the annoyance wasn’t apparent on Winter’s face before it was now. How bad could one be at being a god to the point he’d reveal his status?

“Summer that’s too much pride!”

It was as though he, a god, was lacking in knowledge due to his arrogance to inferior humans. Winter had then decided that enough was enough and brought upon heavier snow fall to stop the commotion going on before him.

“I almost forgot that it was freezing! I hope 1st period has the heater on!” Said Loki along with other students who were saying practically something similar if not the exact same line.

Summer noticed his presence immediately. ‘Slow as always. All gods should be able to sense another’s presence a mile away.’ Winter thought in his mind smirking a bit as he had cooled off that hot head Summer had.

Summer’s hair held a vibrant red that was impossible not to notice courtesy to his natural season and he was wearing a short-sleeved shirt and shorts as though he still dominated the earth with his season. Orange possessed his eye’s completing the ‘colorful’ look. ‘He has some nerve’ Thought Winter but decided to pay no more attention to him. He hated him after all. Summer was arrogant everyway possible. He held the normal arrogance and the status arrogance. He had amazing abilities to back him up, but Summer was just so infuriating when it came to his audacious conceited nature that Winter couldn’t help hating him and as though it wasn’t bad enough her godly status did in fact make her better than the others. Giving him more reason to open his mouth.

“Yes Winter, I know I’m stunning, but don’t fall in love. Such would be a tragedy.” Summer said smirking as she sashayed over to the onyx haired male.

Winter’s anger showed in the hail that fell, but he allowed it hoping one or many would hit the arrogant fool. ‘Oh, that’s right. He’s a god unfortunately. So measly hail won’t harm him.’ And as he said this anything that came close to his body burned with not trace of it left. All gods were stronger when their season occurred, but he was still a god.

“Troublesome.” Whispered Winter whispered and walked straight past the fool who was practically oozing with arrogance. This, however, did not sit well with the crimson haired girl.

“What’s wrong? Bashful?”

“You’re as arrogant as ever, Summer. Somehow, that doesn’t really surprise me for your season explains all.”

“Of course, Winter. To think you’d give me such a compliment. My smile is as bright as the gleaming sun which appears not only during summer, but all seasons. My importance to this world is as that of the sun. My beauty knows no bounds like the sun that is setting and as for my body in relation to the sun’s heat is quite obvious.” Boasted Summer who was happy to tell everyone about her greatness.

“No, that’s not what I meant at all. You’re forgetting everything else that you bring. You’re overbearing, but such should not be a surprise as the sun during your season to is overbearing with its heat leaving no escape. Temperamental, but again such is obvious as one rare day that the sun does not lead a tyrannical world ruled by its heat is an unfavorable day indeed for it always comes back strong with a vengeance and unmerciful which should be obvious as the sun beams down upon this earth and its inhabitants without a care killing people, plants, and animals alike with no sense of guilt inside that ball of heat because that’s all it is. A foolish hothead. Who steps on others so that it can shine. To think a god would lower himself to that of the ways of humans is just loathsome.” And with that the doors he entered closed symbolizing the end of his words.

Perhaps Winter too was a bit audacious even if it wasn’t like Summer, but the truth was that Winter didn’t care for anything. He hated Summer, but that was natural wasn’t it? They’re polar opposites after all. However, Winter too just didn’t like mortals. It wasn’t like the other gods who despised them for their foolishness and incompetence although he understood. Humans feel pain and immediately blame the gods for not helping them and answering to their every call. Dislike filled the part of his hart where humans were because they were absolutely terrible and when you take a broader look at things the gods were too.

Man sacrifices man to live, they force people to live in tyranny, they do terrible deeds to others, and some do evil just for the thrill of it. As he started to think he remembers a man named Odysseus who was hounded by Poseidon and put through so many things before happiness arrived. Trusted people betrayed him, they plundered his wealth and had the audacity to feel sad when he slaughtered them all. It made Winter sick.

Gods were no better. It’s true we’re higher in authority, but what we do is just uncalled for. We don’t like an action, so we make it our personal mission to cause you grief. For a millennium he has wondered if that’s all this world is and will ever be. If that’s so, what’s the purpose of their existence? To cause pain to god and humans alike?

Especially the seasons. We’re not that important as we too are gods. No, we especially are not important, all we do is wreck the world with our weather altering it as we wish. We have no special purpose. If you pay attention you realize that our seasons represent our philosophies.

Summer believes that everything should be solved with his brute force, so he shines on bringing immense heat and it doesn’t help that he’s arrogant. I, Winter, believe that everything on this earth should perish as nothing existing has no meaning. I might as well be the spawn of Hades, he who brings death. Life is like a play, if you aren’t good enough you’ll get replaced. Because of this simple reality no one ever really has a purpose, a reason to exist because anyone can take that place that was so special to you and when you realize that it’s not special anymore. Spring is life in its purest form.

Spring is the girl who follows Winter every time undoing the favor I’m giving to humanity. Chasing me endlessly no matter how many times I leave her in the behind. No matter what Spring will always go down the path that is life. Lastly, Autumn, he who is pleasant to hang around because he is wise. I could listen to his endless knowledge for eternity and I suppose this liking of him has allowed us to form a bond. Autumn doesn’t find me a great nuisance due to the fact that I actually have some sense and understands my reasoning. Even when I know he knows so much more.

I cannot say for sure who Autumn is for I don’t know what he’s thinking. I just know that Autumn always looks deep in thought as he reads a novel or two. He only possessed two expressions. It was either a pained face or a monotonous expression. Even when he gazes upon me there is no satisfaction roaming his features or i descry a distressed expression overlaying his emotionless stare. Alas this discovery is not seen for long as he cloaks it in an instant making his eyes devoid of any form of sentiment. However, even if this may be true there is a much darker side to him that can only be deduced from not what little he shows but what he does not show.

Once Winter asked the boy eager to an extent to understand him and Autumn looked up with a thousand-yard stare a said in a wearisome voice

“The wise have eyes in their heads, while the fool walks in the darkness; but I came to realize that the same fate overtakes them both.”

When my brain discerns the message, I began to ponder the mind-numbing meaning behind such simple words. Knowledge is not always power. Such was learned by Victor who tried to warn everyone the dangers of lurking into deep waters

"'Learn from me, if not by my precepts, at least by my example, how dangerous is the acquirement of knowledge…”

Autumn who is wise for his status as a season god knows too much and that knowledge I’m sure of it will someday be his undoing. That is his darkness, and his immorality as a god. A fool who forever lurks in darkness is already walking that terrible fate for being ignorant truly is not bliss. Such is only said because humans feel it is better to not know so they will have to shoulder no burden.

As a matter of fact, I’m headed his way at the moment because a god such as myself knows everything dealing with the human race and more. As I walked down the smooth, slippery tile floor, I hear quickened footsteps my way and immediately know who it is. Of course, it is spring. She, who always chases after me bringing life to rival my obliteration of the world. Trying to warm my decaying heart. That of which has only felt a spark when I’m around the one who my soul mate Autumn for we are best of friends.

“Summer is arrogant, however, instead of pushing him away we should try to understand him! Making him an outcast will turn him into a god that might as well be dead for he shall deny the existence of is heart!”

A long-extended sigh erupted out of Winter for he knew he could not simply walk away. He knew that Spring’s persistence was a formidable foe indeed. So, with hesitance, he turned to Spring to see her face, which was hugged by her frizzy blond hair, showing disappointment.

“Summer is arrogant because he wants others to acknowledge him and know his greatness and accept him. That’s why during his season the sun shines brightly and produces immense heat! It is so you cannot and will not ignore him.” Spoke Spring who was gasping for breath which escaped for her after she chased after me.

After hearing this Winter had gotten quite angry because of the fact that she stuck up for him. He believed that there was only one reality and that was that.

“When you dig deeper into arrogance all you find is pride, a sin. What is there too understand about that. Also, you’re wrong. Summer’s heat burns brightly with immense heat because that’s how he rules the world during his season. He sees all humans as his puppets who’re at her mercy. when you understand this, you’ll be able to see so many things.” Winter started

“Summer has not purpose. He uses his season to further his arrogance and to stand upon humans. All he accomplishes is wrecking the world with his heat. He is unmerciful and while that’s not out of character for a god he is that way for the wrong reasons. I truly think summer enjoys being arrogant and cruel and people smile and laugh in his season thinking it’s the time for fun. Are their eyes closed? No, humans are just foolish and so is Summer.” Says Winter as he walks away

Step after step he gets closer to the door leading outside where students go to relax and study and eventually there he was. The doors slammed open to reveal his wise friend. Autumn. He was sitting on a bench with a book open. His brown hair and clothing dancing with the wind. Autumn turned to his friend catching eye contact. Winter noticed that Autumns eyes look as though they held so much knowledge, like they knew the fate of the world. It was like he could see through him and everything else. He also noticed that Autumn always carried a pained expression which made sense to the god of everything cold. ‘Now that’s what gods are supposed to be like.’ Thought Winter.

We gods know so much and have learned over the years that knowledge certainly is not always power. Said boy found himself sometimes wishing he never knew the things he did. He knew too much, and it was a great burden upon him. That’s why he just could not make sense of spring or summer. How could a god who knows so much have the time to be an arrogant dictator? How could they have the time to smile all the time? Help people?

Winter’s thoughts overwhelmed him greatly, so he walked the path to Autumn and sat next to him.

“You’re overthinking again are you not?”

Those words struck Winter like lightning and before he knew it his emotions welled up around his eyes and raced along his cheeks. With this sudden change in emotion the temperature dropped drastically to zero degrees Celsius. Again, his inability to control his emotions frustrated the boy which caused a snow storm due to the various emotions and thoughts raging on inside him. ‘Autumn you truly are wise.’ Thought Winter. For he could never his anything with his emotionless face.

“I see. Your mind is controlling you once more. Has this once again ensued from the reality you choose to linger in? So be it. I shall encompass you with my knowledge, so you don’t become a corrupted god. How many times must I save you from yourself?” spoke Autumn

This hurt Winter on another level. He was his closest friend after all.

‘Am I really that bothersome?’

“To truly understand things, you must confront them head on. Demand that your questions be answered and justify the world you choose to live in after. I do not approve of your method to look upon things and claim to understand. Foolish friend, has no one ever told you that there are two sides to every story? That even salt looks like sugar?” whispered Autumn who once again turns from his book to look at the other.

The harsh weather stopped, and it started snowing normally. Winter was confused. Just what did he mean? One does not always need to examine to learn reality and he expressed that to Autumn.

“Autumn, my wise friend, I do not understand your reasoning. No one has to examine to learn anything. When one is born they’re innocent, but all experience cruel reality as it does not let anyone lack knowledge of its existence. Even the gods are cursed by this fate for even we with power cannot deny it. No one has to look closely at a student being bullied because we all know that such is just the cruel reality of things. The strong rule the weak and reality cannot be avoided. I don’t have to be Athena, goddess of wisdom, to know that. “began Winter

“Why are you saying this as though it matters? Nothing matters. Nothing can nor needs to be understood because everything is easily replicable. If it can be replaced, then does it truly matter? For instance, you spend your life trying to understand a human, but all they do is die and for every death there is new life. That human has been replaced. Nothing matters in this world Autumn. So, there Is nothing to look forward to. Nothing to exist for. Except you of course, however, even you and I will some day even though immortal step down and be replaced by another generation next millennium. Everything is cruel, and nothing matters.” Winter spoke with a pained face

Autumn’s eyes flashed upon the other holding a powerful gaze.

“When will you grasp the veracity of this world?”

On that note, Autumn closed his book shut and walked away practically silently leaving out his footsteps that of which seemed to bore in his heart every step. ‘the veracity of this world? What truth could I, a god, not know?’ wondered Winter so desperately to come to term with his beliefs and everyone else’s. how he wished that there was so much more to this world than this world showed him alas that’s all this world would show him. He wasn’t completely off from everyone’s beliefs because after all he saw humans but no humanity. He saw gods but no divinity. And he watched all the individual humans work towards their goal, but he saw no purpose as they’d be replaced someday. Poor Winter just could not understand everyone else and worst of all, even Autumn acknowledge the fact that the other god know something that Winter lacked.

Said god decided he’s had enough for one day from being ruthlessly attacked by his emotion and decides to leave the school. Walking in the distance to no particular place, however, to Winter anywhere would’ve been better than the place his best friend acknowledged someone other than himself.

“Being around these gods results in making me act out of character and thinking with no jurisdiction of over my thoughts. I feel sick. I’m corrupt by different philosophies taking root in my mind.” Hissed Winter somewhat wrathful.

12 hours later Winter once begins his walk home from school which ended at 4 PM. He didn’t dare go see Autumn. He instead wondered if he should keep his distance from one so wise since he would never truly be on the same level with his intelligence. He wondered if he was a nuisance, but Winter simultaneously denied such thoughts telling himself that he was a god and Autumn is just another existence in this cruel world. That he carried no real weight. He swallowed down these suppositions, but they began a rampage, so he could no longer repudiate his feelings associated with those suppositions. And so, the intense thoughts began.

‘No one’s existence has purpose. God’s are not divine. And reality is cruel. This sums up my ideology which was relinquished from the world and was mandatorily digested by me. This goes for everyone, but if this goes for everyone how do people have the audacity to look at things from their own crafted perspective? That’s what I don’t understand. It’s crafted not real. It’s their twisted way of dealing with the harshness of this world. They’re cowards who retreat to their ‘different perspective’ by living a lie. How can Autumn not see that?’

‘Summer is an arrogant fool that like everyone else has no purpose in this world. There’s nothing especially complicated about that except the fact that his audacious nature runs deep. Spring is a fool because of the fact that she attempts to be ignorant even when the knowledge burdens her. That’s not being optimistic and that’s not strong that’s weakness. She’s simply ignoring the wicked truth that’s worse in her actuality it’s the same as denying reality which everyone knows just does not end well as it always has its way in the end. Autumn, I cannot say who you truly are and even though that it’s a shame since I am your best friend it’s because your knowledge knows no bounds. Surely no one can rival Athena, bright among goddess, however still for a season god your mastery of concepts of this world and universe is breathtaking, but your understanding causes you to radiate darkness. And I of course am not any better. My motto is basically nothing justifies existence, there are humans but no humanity, and while there are gods there is no divinity. Are my beliefs limited because of what my season makes me by nature?’

Suddenly, his footsteps stopped but he did not know why. So, he looked up with his blue orbs forming a glare at what he recognized to be the school. He wondered why he even bothered when he wasn’t going to go to Autumn. He supposed that maybe it was due to routine. Soon, however, he was destined realize that this day in fact wasn’t special and was the worst school day of his life.

‘Surely I did not possibly walk here thinking all the while?’

As a king looked proudly upon his subjects, Winter looked upon the humans as they mingled together until his sights were snatched by Summer with her rosy hair who was sashaying around teasing all the boys. Her playful smile practically dripping with egotism. Pretending not to notice the pompous fool Winter without delay walked past Summer and her nonsense but failed to not be noticed by her.

“Winter, word if you please?”

As if on cue they bell rang and everyone hurried to their classrooms laving the two utterly alone.

“You’ve quarreled with Autumn I see. What a troublesome brat.”

“I should not be hearing this from the likes of you.”

“Oh, so cold!” Summer said addressing Winter’s forbidding words with derision and mockery

A scowl contorted Winter’s face in disdain.

‘Why had I bothered listening to this fool?’

“Now, now, I’m only here to provide my assistance. You want to know what others realize that you don’t correct?” she said with her smug attitude

“What can I learn from you an irresponsible, self-centered god?”

Summer sat down on the steps leading to the double doors of her school and began relaxing herself.

“Nothing in this world has meaning because it all can be replaced and since it can be replaced. Meaning that nothing is special.” Started Summer Replicating Winter’s cold, monotonous voice.

“You think the same of the gods as well, don’t you? We don’t need to focus on your other beliefs since this one is the source of it all you say this, but do you truly know what you are saying?”

“Such a fool. This wouldn’t be my philosophy of life if I did not apply it to myself as well. That would be doing things half way. You must be willing to accept cold heart reality with his trace of doom shadowing him. I do not want to talk about this god he’s utterly inconceivable. I do not understand him at all nor why he rules the universe the way he does.”

“I understand. Remember this, our conversation and your words and the intensity behind them, for you shall regret this for all your days and the impact of reality’s works will make you crumble in the wind.” Spoke Summer and without a word more took off into the crowded school.

At the time Winter dismissed this conversation as another episode of his audacious nature, but though he didn’t realize it Summers words held a vague feeling of impending doom.

Winter Autumn in the dark cold place he was in. he called out to him and Autumn responded, but not with words, instead with a glance and a faint smile. His smile held a certain darkness and his face displayed sadness only for him to turn back and walk forward into the suffocating darkness. Of course, Winter intended to follow him and tried desperately so but he just could not catch up with him no matter how fast he ran. He could not understand why Autumn would venture into the darkness instead of coming to him. Just where was he going? Faster and faster he ran using his ice to propel him forward and alas he reached out to grab his wise friend. He intended to make amends, to apologize, to do whatever it took to be with his best friend again. However, it seems a firm resolve was not enough, and he watched in horror as his friend fall apart into fragments at his touch. Horrified he, in vain, reached out for his friend which was irretrievably lost and at his touch broke apart into many pieces until the pieces became so small they ceased to exist.

Winter woke up petrified and wept. He could not help it though he knew it was foolish since it had obviously been a dream. ’Curse you Morpheus for you and your treachery!’ He shouted angrily in his mind to the dream god knowing that he could hear him. But said dream left a trace of dread behind in is mind striking fear in his heart. He felt a vague feeling of impending doom and anxiously hurried to school not bothering to walk like normal all the while cursing himself for putting his pride above his friend. He needed to know that Autumn was still there.

When he arrived, he knew immediately something was off as man wearing sweaters in summer because speaking of said season not only was Summer not producing her arrogant aroma, but she also was not there, and Winter knew unless something essential came up she would not hesitate to tell the world just how ‘great’ she is. Panic etched its way across his features and with the assistance of his ice he speedily arrived at Autumn’s everyday spot only to twist his face distress set off in trepidation to Mount Olympus.

“I demand to see Zeus! I do not now care for nor am I surprised at my own temerity. At whatever cost I shall acquire information!”

Zeus looked upon him knowingly and disappointedly.

“You are a god. Have pride as such. And as for your information I’m already aware. Morpheus informed me why you had that outburst of anger so let’s discuss Autumn.” Said Zeus with a tinge sorrow

“Winter, Autumns time is up.”

Zeus needn’t say anymore for Winter knew what he meant. It meant Autumn was retired as the Autumn god and another child has been born to take his place. Though he knew, shock now paralyzed him.

‘So, you mean to say, all this time I was upholding my pride and not going to see him yesterday was the last time I’d be able to see him for a while?’ thought Winter now in tears terrorized by his own foolishness.

He cared for Autumn and now he was gone.

‘He didn’t even say goodbye!’

“Hold that thought Winter, before you go into the depths of despair I have a message from Autumn that might clear things up.”

And so, Zeus handed him the note which Winter snatched out of his hand ferociously.

“Dear Winter,

Forgive me for abandoning you at this moment in need but my time is up. I hope one day you shall realize everything. I could not bear leaving but fate is not mine to control. I left you so suddenly that day and I had hoped to clear things up and truly help you by putting this vast amount of knowledge to good use, however, it seems you had other plans as you didn’t come to see me that day. When I thought about it I truly was cruel, to abandon you, but I suppose that my vast knowledge doesn’t allow me to see that. Take it from me and never put great distance between you and other people because as you see me having my knowledge put a gap between us and your inability to confront things head on like I told you to will leave you with painful memories that I’m sure will greatly overlap the good ones.”

He unfortunately could not read the rest as they were wiped away by his tears which flowed unendingly and blurred his eyesight. At that moment all Winter knew was pain for he felt utterly alone in this world and universe.es

“Zeus, I beg you, tell me where Autumn is!”

“I forbid it!”

Winter looked at him appalled.

“Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t mind, however, if I allowed this you would slack off as a god. Pay more attention to your season which is taking place at this moment in time.”

Zeus said, however, he knew in fact that if he banned him from seeing Autumn until he retired the boy would go insane. Zeus knew Winter would not admit nor be able to realize it but Autumn was his only tie to this world. So instead of destroying him for good with just harsh words he showed leniency to said boy.

“Focus Winter for you shall not be apart forever! Go back without worry for I shall allow you to see him for all the months Spring, Summer, and the new god Autumn take reign. Instead of crumbling in misery go make Autumn proud and realize your mistakes. You cared for Autumn and deemed him utterly invaluable yet at the same time you told yourself that no one mattered just because they could be replaced so no one was special. How you did not realize that is beyond me but tell me Winter if everyone can be replaced then surely this god will suffice as the new Autumn?”

On cue, the new god, Autumn walks in and Winter couldn’t bear anything but a glimpse of said god of fall.

“Exactly! Your heart shall never except him as Autumn! That’s because Autumn is special to you!”

At that moment Winter looked like a dear caught in headlights and looked back on all his memories and like Zeus pondered at how he did not realize this. He did so until he returned back school which had an hour left until its end. He sat on stairstep leading to the double doors of the school and too his surprise was accompanied by Summer who sat next to him for once without a smug look.

“No arrogant attitude today?” said Winter weary from shock though he had no right to talk since he was still a weeping mess himself.

“No. though I am audacious I am not heartless and my goes out too you. I am only arrogant because people to recognize my bad qualities first before the get to know my good ones. Yes, you’re right, my sun beams unmercifully in my season and it does indeed represent my arrogance for I am willing to step on others to show how great I am. But what you don’t realize is that you to look past all of that and see things truly for what they are. The sun beams unmercifully sometime killing people in its heat however, it also inspires people to get out the house and have fun. The heat will drive them to go places with families and friends and make wonderful memories and in the heat is nothing in comparison to that. Same for me. I want people to get to know me not because of my good looks or nice personality so I shall show them a bad side of me and see who still wants to get to know me then.” Said Summer as she smiled at Winter graciously and suddenly he remembered Autumn’s words.

“Foolish friend, has no one ever told you that there are two sides to every story? That even salt looks like sugar?”

It hurt Winter to know that he was realizing this only after Autumn was gone and that if he never would’ve vanished he never would’ve learned. He looked at a couple passing by and saw them smiling and he thought about how the look they had in their eyes showed clearly that they were deeply important to each other and it’s as if a door was somehow opened in his mind as he finally realized that everyone does have meaning.

‘They weren’t important to me, but they were to someone else. Just because they weren’t too me does not mean that they’re not important at all. How foolish I was, no on can be replaced for they’re all unique and just because another human is born does not mean that the human who dies was replaced but instead they’re now gone for good and that truly is sad.’

Tomorrow is fated to be Christmas eve, so he had a couple weeks left along with a month till his season ended. He smiled upon this fact and turned his head over to Summer who had her smug look again saying something along the lines of “I, however, cannot help it if I am so perfect and dashing.” But Winter did not mind and finally understood and declared in his heart that he’s become a friend Autumn could be proud of until they could spend eternity together when he retires. He would come to understand Spring and learn both sides of the story like his friend said, however, he knew indefinitely that he’d never accept the new Autumn and he would not even try for there was only one Autumn in Winters heart.

He stood up and like all the other day walked up to the door leading outside where students go to relax and study and looked upon the place where his best friend once was with heartache and laid down on the bench which used to hold another presence and cried for with understanding comes painful reality. He knew this, but it was as if he was realizing it for the first time.

When school ended he walked solemnly to no place in particular, and ignoring the new Autumn he brushed shoulders with.

“Ah, I see that stubborn part of you shall forever remain my friend.”

Said a best friend of a person who longed to see him. Little did Winter know he was not as alone as he thought.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Toboldlygo
Review
Toboldlygo wrote a review Review · Apr 28, 2019

Hi there!

First, I wanted to say this is an awesome story! I can tell you really put a lot of thought into your characters and what you wanted this story to be about, so way to go! Your character, Winter, is a great kid/god, and really fun to follow! The other characters have a fun interaction with him, and it's really cool to see how you portray the seasons acting. I have never thought of winter as being particularly beautiful, so it was an interesting perspective to me to read.

There are a couple of little nitpicky things I noticed.

"On an October 3rd which held frigid air that nipped at any exposed flesh, A boy named Winter sauntered his way to high school." The A should not be capitalized, and there should be a comma after 3rd. (Great use of the word sauntered!)

There are several cases where you flip your tenses. You go from past to present throughout the piece, and it makes it hard to follow. I would recommend looking at it again and checking the grammar throughout.

I also was confused about the passage of time. It seemed to be a morning before school in the autumn and then suddenly Christmas Eve? That confused me. I wish there had been a more broken down movement through the timeline so that it was easier to tell when something was happening.

Overally, a great piece! Fun to read, enjoyable, and demonstrated strong writing skills. Way to go!

Toboldlygo

User avatar
JabberHut
Review
JabberHut wrote a review Review · Mar 27, 2019

Hello!

The style of narration fits this story so well. It shows a voice of knowledge and arrogance that fits that of a god, which this story is entirely about. You can hear the divinity as the story is told, and the reader knows immediately that this is a story involving wisdom beyond their comprehension. It's absolutely fitting!

There were some grammatical errors that made it difficult to read in parts. I had to play those fill-in-the-blank games the entire read. As much as I enjoyed them, a quick edit wouldn't hurt.

You have some really awesome characters. I can tell you spent a lot of time on characterization, ensuring that each of the seasons' personalities were unique and stood apart from the rest. You also ensured they stood out from the humans around them, who were clearly unimportant to the gods. In fact, it absolutely worked that you spent zero time talking or describing humans because your main character just didn't care about them enough to notice. It really just worked so beautifully.

I would like to see less telling and more showing. I don't know how familiar you are with the show-don't-tell theory, but basically dumping information into paragraphs instead of allowing the dialogue or action to tell the story can be difficult to read. So while you do have such strong characters, I'd absolutely try to bring their personalities out in the dialogue and actions more than simply explaining in paragraphs who the characters are. I'd have loved to see more Spring involved. I was pleasantly surprised to see as much Summer as I did. I was not as attached to Autumn as I would have liked though. When it came to Spring and Autumn, I kinda just had to take the MC's word for it as to the kind of people they were.

I also feel Zeus as a character was not as authoritative as I had expected. He seemed so wishy-washy and sympathetic, and that's not how I really envisioned such a god to be like. It felt Winter had the reigns of their discussion, not the other way around. I couldn't see into Zeus' logic. All I could see was Winter's arrogance and that it somehow won Zeus over.

The passage of time was also unclear to me. At one point it was morning, then apparently they were at school for 12 hours until 4pm (school at 4am?!), then it was suddenly Christmas Eve. I don't really know how I got tossed around the timeline without my knowing, but it threw me for a loop by the end. I thought it was Autumn and boom! Christmas Eve.

The story itself has such a strong message. To tell this story from the eyes of minor season gods, particularly such a dreary and arrogant one like Winter, was such a good idea that worked. I truly believe this can be polished into a wonderful piece. When you go through this, keep in mind the theme or moral of the story and try to reflect that in the narration and voices of your characters. It's such a good message and you have a really good piece here to allow that message to shine.

I hope my babbling makes sense! I love what you have here and hope you plan to polish it.

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!



But sometimes a hypocrite is nothing more than a person who is in the process of changing.
— Dalinar (Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson)