Ignore this

Actually, I think the red cross only appears on normal posts that haven't been reviewed or something. If what Lydia told you doesn't work, the easiest way is to contact a Mod (people in green) and ask them

And as Lydia, I'm sad I didn't catch the piece
- Kat

Hello!

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From the reviews you have had it sounds as though this was very good. I greatly regret not getting here sooner to read it.

Keep Writing,
~Lydia

Since you've had some great reviews and ideas for improvement I'll just say how much I adore this story. You write so beautifully and I cannot wait for more!
*coco

Hi Molly, Pink here as requested.
Alright, so I'm going to start off by pointing a few things out and we'll see what goes from here...

Grammar: Alright, your grammar isn't all that bad. You just need to work on putting your commas in the correct places. Here's a Link that I think will help you accomplish that. Hopefully it helps in the future. But wow, your dialogue is...wow, really good!
Plot: I really have no idea what the plot is exactly, but what you have so far is quite promising. Honestly, when I read the beginning paragraph I thought this was going to be yet another rip-off of Twilight or something but it's not. Besides the part about Triston being so beautiful...but then again, angels are supposed to be beautiful. Unlike Vampires...who I personally think are supposed to be tall, skinny, pale and...well, dead-looking. Not beautiful. lol So yours makes more sense overall.
Characters: Even if this the middle of the book and not the beginning I can feel your characters emotions and tell what kind of people they are. I love it! You're amazing at characterizing for a fourteen year old. *applause* Most of the time I find myself telling people to show characters through actions and not just telling the readers but showing them through actions. Keep it up, you're good and I can see potential in this.

____________________
Wow, this piece was long.
Maybe, you should shorten it just a little. Most of us find it difficult to review very long pieces of work. Even if it's good, I find myself hitting the back button when I confront long pieces. *ashamed* But that's jut me, I know others who love long works. I guess it's just a personal preference. Oh well, enough about length.
Overall, I did enjoy reading this and I think you have a promising story going on here. I wish you luck in future chapters.

~Pink

You are a beautiful writer. I only read halfway through, but in that half, I wanted more between her and Triston. Their chemistry just makes me want to hop out of bed and find love.

And your voice. I wish I had your voice. It is simple, yet extraordinary. I can't put my finger on it, but being only 14, you baffle me.

~Classy

Dialogue:

The dialogue is great. It is effective and realistic. As well, it had helped mould the character of your story, this is a very good thing you have done. As well, through this, you had followed the dialogue with the description of their facial expression. Nicely done

Mood & Description:

Now in here, you have done well and the mood again is in relation with the dialogue you had created. The words you had used to described is nice in creating imagery. One of my favourites is this: Outside, coils of peach and heliotrope adorned the April sky; last minute shafts of sunlight beating down in glistening gold ribbons through the fissures of a thriving oak tree, rocking daintily in the light breeze. I allowed myself the rarity of a smile. Summer was finally approaching. This is nicely done.
Setting:
Though you had given the reader clues on where it is, I felt that it is lacking. Now the question is: where is it? Is it by the beach, inside a city, or in a suburban environment? You had stated car bbut it is not enough. Described the place…not really descriptive but fair enough to give a hint where we are…try to describe some landmarks such as city buildings or ocean breeze. One thing lacking here is the setting being mood…though you had made mood through dialogue, you can add mood through setting though not always be used. For example on the chat with Adam and Molly, if the mood is sad, you can describe the setting being sad or happy (Which would be a contradiction to the event).

Plot:

One thing I had observe in this piece is this: one dialogue after the next. Okay, try to slow down…don’t introduce the characters ( a lot of them in here) so fast. Try to save it for later and save the space for some plot. (Unless you need to) if you introduce a great number of them (and if they are major characters) the readers may get confuse on who is who. Save some for later like Tristen and try to explain or show on Molly being an angel…or the process, for the description in the last part are a bit muzzy. Try to show some changes in her after she went out from Adam’s restaurant. When in the car, let her see some changes in her.
I’m not saying that Tristen is going out but just try not to introduce characters too quick…if so, just give us a bit of hint on their personality but don’t go overboard.

It was no problem to read. Like I said previously, I enjoyed it. I really liked the idea, but I think I have a better understanding of what you're trying to accomplish. I believe that you are doing a great job in exploring Molly's reluctance to leave her human life behind. Adam and Molly's relationship is, if not very natural, believable for the reader to take in. Good luck, and I will def. be checking back to read more. Happy writing!

Actually, I was able to get a good idea of the story even without the first paragraph. You did a wonderful job with the idea and emotion behind the piece; I would love to more about her condition and the history between Molly and Adam as well as the connection between Triston and Molly. On the other hand, I've seen this kind of love triangle before in other books, so I hope you don't mind me asking, how is this love story or love subplot different than anything I or any reader has read so far? It's just something to think about.

I didn't seem too many inconsistencies or blatantly obvious grammatical errors. The characters were consistence in their roles and dialogue. For the most part, it flowed very nicely; it wasn't choppy. It was fantastic to read, and I hope to read more as time goes on.

Thank you for sharing.