Calypso and Adonis whirled around to face the woman in the doorway.
"Aphrodite!" Calypso cried. Her heart started pounding wildly.
"Hello, Calypso," The goddess said with a smirk. Calypso did not like the predatory look on her face, like she was a rabbit and Aphrodite was the wolf.
“What do you want with me? Why can’t you just let me go?” Calypso asked, her eyes imploring. “Please.” Aphrodite’s face darkened and Adonis shot Calypso a warning glance.
“I can’t let you go. Soon it will be official, a couple worthy of Olympus.” Calypso wanted to scream in frustration. What did that mean? More importantly, what did she have to do with it? She just wanted her life back, her friends, her mother, Jason… Just thinking about him filled her with sorrow and longing. A tear rolled down her cheek. Calypso bit her trembling lip to keep from crying. As if reading her thoughts, Aphrodite’s face softened.
She stepped toward Calypso and placed a firm hand under her chin, forcing Calypso to look at her. “Calypso, it’s time you forgot Jason. He’s already moved on, so you should too. But soon you shall meet someone else-”
Defiantly, Calypso jerked from Aphrodite’s grip. “I won’t move on! I only love Jason. And you can’t make me love someone else.” Angry tears streamed down her cheeks.
"Calypso, it's time to move on," Aphrodite said, her tone sharper. Calypso was tired of being afraid; first of Royce, now of Aphrodite--and, most of all, what would happen to her if she stood up for herself. Well she didn't have to anything else to lose. She already lost her family, friends, and Jason. Everything that'd she'd ever cared about, gone, ripped from her.
Calypso set her jaw stubbornly and straightened her shoulders. She wiped her cheeks and looked Aphrodite right in the eye. "I am sick and tired of this! You don't control me! Not you-not Royce-not anyone! I-"
"Calypso," Adonis said, his voice, low and warning. He kept looking at Aphrodite. Even though it was his first time seeing her, he knew she was nobody to be messed with. However, Calypso ignored his warning. She was just getting started. She started to open her mouth, preparing to say more. Before she could say anything else, Adonis pinched her arm. Startled, Calypso looked at him. He shot her a glance that clearly said "shut up!" and returned her stare for few moments before his gaze darted back to Aphrodite's face. When she looked at Aphrodite she saw the goddess's cheeks were flushed with anger, the color of ripe strawberries, her perfect full lips were pulled downward into scowl, and her eyes blazed with anger. Slowly, Calypso's boldness was replaced with common sense, the realization that she'd gone too far, and the fact that she still had a life to lose.
"Calypso Baros, you must accept your fate. There is no going back. The Fates have made their decision. Jason has already moved on. Like him, you must accept it--" Calypso barely heard the rest of what Aphrodite was saying. Her words about Jason kept playing in Calypso's head like a haunting melody. She wanted it to be a lie but from Aphrodite's serious, blunt stare, she knew it was true. Her heart felt like it was weighted down by lead and tears started to well in the corner of her eyes. She bit her lower lip, but her entire body started to tremble. Her entire life was crumbling into ruins. Her plans, her future, everything. She would never finish college, never become a graphic designer, and never marry Jason, which she had always thought was going to happen. As much as Calypso didn't want to admit it, she was almost positive of what Aphrodite had in store for her and Adonis. Even if Jason hadn't moved on yet, he would. There was no escaping Aphrodite's plan. Tears fell faster than Calypso could wipe them away.
Why am I crying so much? I hate it! I was the strong one, now the tears never stop falling.
Athena stood up and glared at her sister. "Stop it Aphrodite! Don't cause anymore pain for this girl!"
Athena turned to Adonis. "Please lead Calypso outside, I'm not sure of how much more of this she can take." She asked, glaring pointedly at Aphrodite.
"She will get used to it, all girls do. It is a way of life." Aphrodite retorted, that being the last thing Calypso heard before being greeted by blinding sunlight.
Calypso was barely aware of Adonis leading her to the stone bench. When she was seated on the bench she broke down, pulled her knees to her chest and sobbed, her breathing came out in short ragged breaths. Adonis awkwardly patted her arm, not knowing what to do. He thought about leaving her alone, but the fragile, lost look in Calypso's eyes changed his mind. So he scooted closer to her and gently stroked her back, feeling Calypso's body quiver with sobs under his hand. Calypso cried for about half an hour before her tears subsided and her shuttering breaths became calmer. Adonis removed his hand from her back and withdrew, giving Calypso a respectable amount of space.
"Are you going to be alright?" he asked her. Calypso nodded.
"Sorry about losing it," Calypso murmured, her voice raw from crying. "But, why? We met an hour ago and your already comforting me. I barely even know you."
Adonis' face looked grim. "According to Aphrodite, we're going to have to know each other. Might as well start now."
Calypso sighed. "That stupid goddess is going to ruin our lives. Our families lives. Haven’t you figured out what’s going to happen?"
Adonis nodded. "I have a hunch. Unfortunately, I don't think there's anything we can do about it."
Calypso stared at him in disbelief. "How can you be taking this so easily? If we're right, we're being taken away from our family and friends, being forced to marry and live on some God forsaken magic mountain!"
Adonis thought about it, questioning it himself. "What about that freaky mind thing Athena did? She did something different for each of us, maybe that’s it."
"As Aphrodite said 'We'll get used to it'" Calypso remarked sarcastically
Adonis shrugged, infuriating Calypso. "Maybe we will."
He kept looking at Calypso's damp, tear-streaked cheeks. Instinctively, he moved closer to Calypso and gently brushed her tears away. She pulled away in shock and Adonis withdrew again.
"Are you sure you're alright?" Calypso hesitated for a second, but when she nodded again, Adonis offered her his hand to help her to her feet. Hesitantly, she took it. After she stood, Calypso pulled her hand away. As they walked, a silence fell over them. They walked over to the cave with silence like a blanket hanging over them. As they neared the cave, they heard Athena and Aphrodite fighting again.
Sisterly love, Calypso thought, and she pulled Adonis away from the entrance. One time being in the middle of two arguing goddesses was more that enough. She was not going through that again.
"So what do we do now?" he asked, looking exasperated.
Calypso thought about it for a minute, then got an idea. A flutter of a smile appeared on her lips, and a faint glimmer of hope shone through her tear-stained eyes.
"Let's try to fix your boat."
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,856 Reviews
Hey there, modern!
Normally, I wouldn't point out anything technical, like grammar or anything, but this stuck out to me.
This is from mortal-Calypso's (yes, I am in fact going through this again) point of view, meaning that while yes, we can see Adonis's actions, we will not know what he is thinking. The most that is acceptable is mortal-Calypso assuming his reasons for doing things. The things marked in red should be taken out or reworked, for they specifically say Adonis did something for a specific reason, or he thought something.
So, something I just thought of while reading this is, why is Athena on the island with them? After all, she's a god; doesn't she have anything else better to do? I'm not saying she can't be here, but I don't think you mentioned why(?).
Another thing I want to know is, why do the gods have so much invested in this? Is immortal-Calypso really so important to Aphrodite? I mean, as long as she didn't turn up and create a whole I'm-more-beautiful-than-Aphrodite thing again, I don't see why Aphrodite would care so much. And I don't see why Athena cares so much what Aphrodite does to mortal-Calypso.
I'm not saying that your plot is totally worthless because my points are tearing it apart; I'm just saying I'd like some reasons why things are this way.
My last thing is, Adonis is acting really rational. Way too rational. Is he just going to accept everything as it is, not question it, just try to have a life with mortal-Calypso. That sounds really weird, like he doesn't even miss any of his family or friends or anything.
Okay, so pretty good chapter. A few things off, but more the most part pretty good. Nice job.
loveness, ultraviolet <3
The only thing I don’t like so far is how well and how quickly they are both taking the news. Really, what kind of threat is Aphrodite? You haven’t shown us what she can do to them. Turn them into frogs? Kill them with physical force? Calypso and Adonis seem to be pretty submissive with her plans.
I hope you can turn Adonis into a fun character, and not just the caring hot guy sidekick. He must have had a life before this, and he’s probably upset about the whole situation as well. Let him show some emotion, don’t let Calypso use it all up
Besides that, great job.
Hey again!
All right, so this was a pretty good chapter. I like the potential you've got here for Adonis and Calypso to try and escape, and maybe grow their possibly romantic relationship.
One little suggestion I'd like to make is that you use two hyphens ( -- ) when you need to put a dash there. Otherwise, it looks like it's a hyphenated word, like this: "Aphrodite-and" instead of "Aphrodite--and" which indicates more of a pause instead of it being some odd joined word.
You just said she was tired of being afraid of people; that last bit has nothing to do with a person, so either change it to a new sentence, or reword the entire piece to something like: "Calypso was tired of being afraid; first of Royce, now of Aphrodite--and, most of all, what would happen to her if she stood up for herself."
This seems completely out of context. She's been crying and is hugely upset about the sudden change in her life, and now, suddenly, she's smiling? Not even simply just trying to smile, but actually smiling? Seems a bit too drastic of a change.
All right, well that's I've got to say! Please PM me if you've got any questions or whatnot. Cheers! (:
*Pumps fist!* I'm first! This really is getting great friction! There aren't any grammar or spelling mistakes but there are a few things that need fixing.
In two cases:
and
you said that Aphrodite and Athena were sisters. *Throws on Greek Geek badge.* Actually, Aphrodite was born from the blood of Uranus and Athena was born from Zeus head. They are related, but not sisters. So maybe you could try:
Also;
Is a little plain. Spice it up with some capitalizations and salsa words!!!
Hehe. This is funny. When did Aphrodite say this again?
Overall, loved the story! Keep writing it please!