Ice Cubes #29

by miyaviloves

Published May 23, 2007

Taken down due to publishing

Comments & reviews · 7
User avatar
Insomnia
Review
Insomnia wrote a review Review · Jun 3, 2007

Hey. And maybe once again I spoke too soon. You get disappointment and a good surprise in the space of one Chapter! =O I only found one thing this time, so I'll just show you that and be on to the next part lol!

until he shook my away.

I think you missed a word there, but I've lost where I found this, so I have no idea what it is. ;) Might want to look for it later.

User avatar
JC
Review
JC wrote a review Review · May 23, 2007

“It’s alright, they are quite cute!”

Would a guy say this? even a gay one? They're normally not that flamming. More normal. Trust me, I have fourteen gay uncles, I know.


Some of the things Jamie says and does are getting girly. Like you've forgotten he's male. It's weird. I'm forgetting he's male.

I don't know if what happened between Luke and him went to fast, or if there should have been more conversation or what, but it doesn't seem right for some reason. Draw out the end, make more conversation between Jaimy and Luke, and why he can't let his mom see them, even as friends. Also, you think his mom would be more freaked out the way Luke reacted. It just doesn't seem realistic.

The rest of it was very good though! As always. I love this story, tell me when you post the next section, kk? hehe.

-JC

User avatar
M.B.Author
Review
M.B.Author wrote a review Review · May 23, 2007

It was good. Who is Rob? I haven't read any of the starting posts. Sorry :? :(. Whoops! Anyway, it was OK. And um... Evil Luke! Keep up the good work.

-- M.B.Author

P.S.
You have a lot of chapters, when is it going to end?
When you finish, will you get it published?

Jules the jester commented Comment · May 23, 2007

Aye he is evil aint he Alainna.

I hope your pubnlishing goes well. I think this would be quite successful as a novel.

User avatar
Alainna
Review
Alainna wrote a review Review · May 23, 2007

Ooooh......

Argh, Luke is evil!! Robs back!!!!

I loved this Meevs, I really did!!!

Only thing is, if Luke wasn't gay would he really be that forward?? I mean you can tell he's that sort of confident guy but even they would get a bit funny rather than really touchy feely...??

Anyways, loving Ice Cubes!
Alainna
xxxxxxxx

User avatar
miyaviloves
Comment
miyaviloves commented Comment · May 23, 2007

Heyo Jules, I haven't seen my creative writing teacher for ages as I have finished college for the moment, so I really don't know. I have looked into Agents by myself and am thinking of sending to an Agent, but I'm not sure. Gosh it's all so complicated! Plus, I think I should maybe get it all finished!

Meevs
x

Jules the jester commented Comment · May 23, 2007

Yay. As always i enjoyed it.

I forgot to ask how th epublishing went. Did they accept?



If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven - and very, very few persons.
— James Thurber