Young Writers Society

Hey Meevs. It's not just past midnight no, so what I say might be a bit more coherent.

but one day when she had a ridiculous craving for mars bars

Capitalise the product name here.

or frightened that they may have been lingering around the corner

Before I even read the next part of that I imagined a mob of old people chasing him down the street lol.

And why do I get the feeling Jamiy's about to get hurt? =O I guess it's impossible not to when you get that excited about something, isn't it? xD Anyway, onto the next part.

loved the idea and diary, type storyline

How sho( shower!) Shower in slang means looking peng!-peng means looking hot. But when talking about some-thing, say an object it means good. phew..glad i got that over and out. But yea it looks sho!

But nah..nah I really love this i do, i really do. I perfect idea and i can tell you've realy thought about it to a sense. Although i love. I would say, carry on with it as i'm sure u'll know where those changes need to be made.
Keep it up

Hello both

Alainna - The door thing does have quite a big importance, but you will find that on in later chapters, I too thought it was a little bit well...meh, I will edit it but it kinda needs to be there

JC - The thing about him thinking Luke was in love with him, is because Jamiy has only ever had attanetion from one person, Chris, so when someone else shows interest in him he gets all too excited and jumps to stupid cinclusion, but thats just Jamiy hehe!

Thankyou both for reading this again, you really are the best people ever!

Meevs
x

Great as usual. I thought it was just a little bit random though. And I thought it was kind-of wierd for Jaimy to think that Luke was in love with him.

Ice Cubes='s Love. =D Write away! hehe.

-JC

Yay, 27!!!!

Well, this was great as usual! I'm glad that there is some action in it.

I cautiously made me way

When the time came I stood up from my hiding place, brushed down my jeans and waiting patiently at the electric doors. I watched as they caught me in their sensors, slowly opening again and again. Each time I would deliberately move, just to see where the sensors would catch me, and how close you actually have to be before the doors open for you. It was a pointless piece of research but it passed the time.