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Ice Cubes #14

by miyaviloves

Published April 11, 2007

Taken down due to publishing

Comments & reviews · 8
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Insomnia
Review
Insomnia wrote a review Review · May 30, 2007

Hey... for what, the fourth time today lol? Just the one thing I found, and from the stuff I've done on your last chapters, you can probably guess what it is. ;)

“Your going where?”

*you're. That one always slips past me when I'm typing as well lol. I get really annoyed when I do that all the time. Same with 'something.' xD

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miyaviloves
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miyaviloves commented Comment · Apr 16, 2007

Edited

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miyaviloves
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miyaviloves commented Comment · Apr 16, 2007

yeah sorry about that :S dont know where numbere 12 has gone :S im sure i posted it but obviously not :(

Meevs
x

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JC
Review
JC wrote a review Review · Apr 16, 2007

“I have to go home,” And with those words...

The A in and should be lowercase.

“Ok…talk to you later then, call you Saturday or something bye!”.

I know old habits die hard...but the period doesn't belong at the end. The exclamation point takes care of that.

Did you notice that there's no part 12??? hm...confused me. Anyways...this chapter just seemed weird to me, like Jaimy fogot all about what happened in chapter 10...like it never happened. It just doens't seem realistic that her wouldn't ever think about it.

Still loving it! Keep it up!!!

-JC

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stupidiot92
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stupidiot92 commented Comment · Apr 15, 2007

Quote:
Sounds crap


sounds like crap

This was a good part. I like how you explain a thing from the past that made Sappy's mom freak out.

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miyaviloves
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miyaviloves commented Comment · Apr 11, 2007

edit

XgodatemyskittlesX wrote a review Review · Apr 11, 2007

I like it a lot. :) Meh it was a really short... But, with those few words you can really feel the impact of your friendship with Sappy. I hate stories with no ending so can't wait to read more. Um if you post more.

Until then.
:elephant:



Remember: no stress allowed. Have fun, and learn from your fellow writers - that's what storybooks are all about.
— Wolfi