Published April 10, 2007
Taken down due to publishing
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141,471 Literary Works • 674,496 Reviews
Hey, Meevs.
I finally worked out all the Chapter numbers, so after this i'll be onto 15... I think lol. I only found a few things in here.
“Sure you want coffee?”
Maybe put a comma after sure? I dunno if that's right or not. xD
im sure now shut up
*I'm
And I give up. You really can bring out endless surprises. One every chapter, at least lol. We'll see how many more you've got lol.
Wow, that was a twist. I never knew that he had a brother. I really like that twist. As for the Chris thing, i like how it is in there but i really really hate Chris. I hope something really bad happens to him. I mean really really bad. I look forward to reading the rest of Ice cubes.
Edited
*Rated R*
If it isn't rated R, it shows up on the front page, and then the entire world gets to see this content the moment they visit the site.
So please, rate your work.
Oh my......that was true emotion...There were a few spelling mistakes and the word 'well' was overused at times.
I learnt loads of new stuff about the story in that post......wow.
Alainna
xxxx