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Young Writers Society



Advent Children

by miyaviloves


Chapter one

“Cloud? I guess your busy…Barret called, he says that you never got back to him the other day. Anyway, I guess you should call him, let me know your okay” Tifa hung up the phone with a sigh. It had become established that Cloud never answered his phone, yet it disappointed her to hear the recorded message instead of his voice when she called. It had been two years since Kadaj had used Jenova to recreate Sephiroth , and within those two years things remained quiet. Geostigma was a thing of the past and people were happy. After Cloud fought Sephiroth he found peace within himself, but Cloud being Cloud eventually fell back into his usual recluse. Tifa pushed her hair off of her face and made her way to the sound of Marlene’s laugh.

“Cloud…you haven’t been for a while, I was beginning to think that you didn’t like me no more” The silver haired man lifted his head to the sound of footsteps.

“Shut up. I only come to check up on you to make sure you don’t run off any where. I told Vincent about you, he says that Rufus will want to do tests on you, or imprison you, we cant have another Sephiroth appearing again” Cloud looked down at the frail figure he directed his words at.

“You talk of this Sephiroth a lot…you know, it would benefit me greatly if you told me who he was. or if you told me who this Vincent is. Or Rufus. Cloud, you’re the only person I have” The thin man stood to look Cloud in the eyes. He gently pulled his thin sheet around him, shivering at the sudden change of temperature, from laying in bed to standing in the almost empty room.

“That’s rich” Cloud turned harshly away from him “Two years ago you were trying to kill me”

“That’s what you say. I don’t remember anything” He slumped back down onto the bed “I keep having these dreams. Every night, the same dream. I have been told to find ’mother’ with two other men. And as I try to talk to these other two people they fade away and I can never make out their faces. All I know is that if I find ’mother’ it will all be ok”


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Fri Sep 09, 2022 1:31 am
KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

“Cloud? I guess your busy…Barret called, he says that you never got back to him the other day. Anyway, I guess you should call him, let me know your okay” Tifa hung up the phone with a sigh. It had become established that Cloud never answered his phone, yet it disappointed her to hear the recorded message instead of his voice when she called. It had been two years since Kadaj had used Jenova to recreate Sephiroth , and within those two years things remained quiet. Geostigma was a thing of the past and people were happy. After Cloud fought Sephiroth he found peace within himself, but Cloud being Cloud eventually fell back into his usual recluse. Tifa pushed her hair off of her face and made her way to the sound of Marlene’s laugh.

“Cloud…you haven’t been for a while, I was beginning to think that you didn’t like me no more” The silver haired man lifted his head to the sound of footsteps.


Okay..interesting start to the piece here. We've got ourselves a moment where someone seems to be running into someone that they have been avoiding for some reason. Right away that does make for a very nice opening I think because it adds a little extra history to the character that we can now be thinking about. Let's see where this takes us here.

“Shut up. I only come to check up on you to make sure you don’t run off any where. I told Vincent about you, he says that Rufus will want to do tests on you, or imprison you, we cant have another Sephiroth appearing again” Cloud looked down at the frail figure he directed his words at.

“You talk of this Sephiroth a lot…you know, it would benefit me greatly if you told me who he was. or if you told me who this Vincent is. Or Rufus. Cloud, you’re the only person I have” The thin man stood to look Cloud in the eyes. He gently pulled his thin sheet around him, shivering at the sudden change of temperature, from laying in bed to standing in the almost empty room.


Well now that's making things even more interesting. It seems these two characters here have some sort of history going on between them and judging by the situation here its been quite some time since this started. That is definitely making this opening far more interesting than it would normally be here. Let's see how things end here.

“That’s rich” Cloud turned harshly away from him “Two years ago you were trying to kill me”

“That’s what you say. I don’t remember anything” He slumped back down onto the bed “I keep having these dreams. Every night, the same dream. I have been told to find ’mother’ with two other men. And as I try to talk to these other two people they fade away and I can never make out their faces. All I know is that if I find ’mother’ it will all be ok”


Well that closes out on a very surprising note there. We've got what seems like genuinely an abrupt cut off there for some reason and this mystery relationship here which has yet another chapter added to it simply seems to grow. Well at any rate, I can tell you this makes for a very intriguing scene here even if it is hard to see where its trying to go with it.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:02 pm
Fantasy of You wrote a review...



Abandon it, would be my 100% honest advice on it. I get the reason why people write fanfic. and so I'm not debating it. But when you can't stick to the personalities and traits (ect.) of the character you're using, why write fanfic. at all? Simply impersinating what's presented to you is equally as bad, IMO.

You can write. I mean, there are problems, but I don't really want to offer suggestions in a fanpic. piece, as style tends to get slightly skewed. If you can give me a link to another of your pieces, I'd happily help there.

-Fantasy




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Fri Nov 10, 2006 6:28 pm
miyaviloves says...



Hmm...well i cant really cut down the characters cos its a fanfiction from a film :\ and i am not involving some of them! Final fantasy can be verrrry confusing especially ff7, so i will try to keep the confusion at minimum in the future! thanks for your comment!




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Fri Nov 10, 2006 4:49 pm
RoxanneR wrote a review...



This sounds good, but it's slightly confusing! All the different names! But I love the name Cloud, and I think this story could work a lot better if you could narrow the number of characters down in the pieces, it would make it a lot easier to understand.

Hope it helped!

RR*




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Fri Nov 10, 2006 1:34 pm
miyaviloves says...



Reno fiddled with his long red hair as Rufus rambled on about something he was completly uninterested in. Tseng sighed as his friend took no intesrest in the topic, and this wasnt just any topic, this was their next assignment. Rude too had noticed Reno's reluctancy to listen to Rufus, but like always, he knew that Reno would just do what the others did, or just do what Tseng would tell him. Atleast this meeting he turned up, it was unlike Reno, especially in the lasty month or so, to show up atall. Rude felt he knew his re dhaired friend the best, and he knew that there was something wrong with the usually quirky male.
"Vincent tells me that Cloud has found Kadaj" Rufus directed his words at Reno, who surprisingly looked up at him.
"Oh oh! We all know that is impossible, Kadaj is a gone, he went floating up into the sky calling out to 'mother' remember" Reno laughed as he nudged Rude, to get a smile out of him. BUt his expression stayed the same. As always.
"That's the thing. when Kadaj used Jenova's head to become Septhiroth, after Cloud defeated him, he did infact die. And thats the reason why we need to bring him here, to do tests. And from what Cloud has said, he does not remember anything that happened two years ago" Rufus informed the group.
"But will Cloud bring him here?" Tseng asked.
"That i do not know"





Prometheus, thief of light, giver of light, bound by the gods, must have been a book.
— Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves