You've got a nice pace in here, and the emotion is really raw. Good job with that.
What I think you could improve is the originality. Position the subject somewhere else, or maybe don't mention exactly where she is right from the beginning. Your first line doesn't really captivate the reader. I for one feel like I've read about girls sitting alone in their room many times before.
Something else you might add...why is she there? Maybe you could develop a backdrop; that would definitely make the poem more interesting.
The last stanza is nice, but it seems a bit cliched.
Anyway, I liked the way you conveyed the emotions in detail. I think this work would benefit a lot more if you tried to make it more your own; add maybe some personal observations, or little things that makes the situation come to life.
Points: 890
Reviews: 321
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