How i wish for a world,
That doesn’t hide it’s face,
That doesn’t mask the only
Place it knows.
A world that doesn’t wish for sparkly purple,
Or glorious red,
For a calm, clear, blue,
Or a mellow green.
A world that doesn’t float toward black
Or race to white.
To be fine with gray
Is fine with me.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Hi, it's Al again, making a review!
I love the idea of rainbows. So I was immediately intrigued when you titled it 'ugly'
And then I found out that I'm right! Your poem 'Ugly Rainbows' is simply beautiful!
I think this is a great jump start for you. The poem is undoubtedly measured and studied. I don't think you did this just in one night! I think you put a lot in this short piece. It states in Science that light is only present when there is a presence of darkness. You made this true in word form. You hid sorrows and guilt behind the colors of the rainbow. And you want to change their hue to make your life better.
I can't see any flaws in your poem. But be sure to double double check! (Get it?) It always helps to review your own work to see your own flaws.
Great work! Keep writing and good luck!
Al
I like this. What I got across from this is that you want people to more accept what they have and the simple things instead of wanting more. I kinda get it. don't push your luck when you already have something that may not be quite as good but it gets the job done. I like this and I've felt like this too. If i'm wrong please correct me because i'd like to know what the central idea of this is. lol
I liked this poem, it had a lot of hidden meaning behind it whether you intended for that or not. the last line is quite as powerful to the reader as it could be, and I think if you maybe tried to fix that, it could really leave something thinking!
I definitely liked the idea of gray and colors being unnecessary, but at the same time you didn't really explain your reasoning behind your hatred of the colors. Short and sweet, it gets to the point, but it there's always room for improvement! Keep writing