Feel Free To Critique!
Writing this poem, as I sit alone
People wonder why I'm hiding;
Inside my invisible shield.
I listen to the silence of the air
Feeling the beat of my heart,
As though it is empty, it is ever so bare.
Writing this poem, as I sit alone
People wonder why I'm so concealed.
I remember the memories; the vague past
Of the good times, that I wish hadn't went by so fast.
Writing this poem, as I sit alone
People wonder why I've never been revealed.
I keep the real soul of "me"
Inside of this human body,
For it is just a suit of armor,
That barely protects
I wish life was easy, without regrets.
Writing this poem, as I sit alone
Tell me, now do you know?
NOTE: this has a sort of personal twist on it. you may or may not understand what this poem means. sorry in advance if it is to vague, or lacks being specific!
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
aww how sad. =/ you seemed happy last night!
I guess I should try to review this then.
I think you should change the middle sentence to "Feel the beating of my heart" it flows better.
I'm still debating in my head on whether or not I should say take out the pieces where you say you're writing a poem. But then it fits because you're trying to send a message out and by doing that, you're writing a poem.
While it is personal, you want to be a clear as you can so that others can really feel your pain.
Hope you feel better!