Hi, LUNARGIRL here with a review,
First off, great job on the poem, it had a very deep meaning, you also had a great choice of wording for your poem. One thing is, is that some parts of your poem rhyme, while others don't. That totally up to you though, so you don't have to listen to this because tons of poems are great without rhyming. You also had really good symbolism and imagery.
I really liked how you kept repeating this part, "step in line, step in time." And then you would add something else like, "to the whine, of your enemies." Or "to the moans, of your fallen brethren." And "to the cries of your poor mother."
Overall my favorite part was,
"march on little soldier
we haven't time to
waste
we have to replace you
so step into your grave."
It was sad, but it had emotion and power to it.
Great job overall, you are a great writer. Can't wait to read what you write next!
Carpe diem,
LUNARGIRL
Points: 10714
Reviews: 122
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