I slowly opened the door. Olga Bernard was quietly writing on a pad of paper. She then tore off the front page and handed it to her assistant that was standing by her desk. She whispered something to her and shooed her off.
“You wanted to see me?” I said softly.
“Ah Mikayla, have a seat.”
I took a seat and waited for her to speak again.
“You’re very talented. I read your article and wondered how you came up with the idea of writing about high fashion and how it has changed through the course of the decade. In fact I love it so much it will be in next month’s issue.”
What was she talking about? I did my article on recyclable clothing.
“No disrespect, but I think you have the wrong girl.”
“You didn’t write this article?”
I shook my head. “No.”
She smiled. “Well I’m glad. You’d be surprised how many people would take credit for work they know wasn’t theirs.”
“Oh. So this was a test?”
“Yes, and you passed. I’m glad that we still have honest people in this world. Now will you go fetch me some coffee?”
“Of course. Be back in ten minutes.”
She smiled at me and I left her office.
I ran down the stairs and walked to the closest coffee shop. I ordered Olga’s favorite and while waiting in line I felt a tap on my shoulder.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,831 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Hmm..well the title seems very self explanatory for this one, that's not something you run into too often, but for a piece that's as short as this one I think it works out well enough. At any rate, I think we have a solid enough start here to this one with a rather neat little bit of dialogue that lets us know exactly what's going on without diving unnecessarily deep into backstory and other things that can sometimes slow an opening down.
Well that was a fun little twist and surprising quick..hmm, that is quite something here. On one hand, I feel like that doesn't make for the most effective of tests considering how fast things went by, I feel like that ruse should have gone on for a tiny bit longer if the boss really wanted to flush out dishonesty but it was a pretty cool moment I think.
Well that was a neat bit of a cliffhanger to end on. I wasn't expecting to run into something like that towards the end here but I think it makes for a pretty neat moment here. It certainly now makes me want to see if there's more to this story..and read it. Well, overall, this was a fairly short but pretty solid scene here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Hey there,
I'm going to assume that this is part of a story, but I'm not sure where to find the rest of it. I think that this is a good place to work a story from, or even to use in a chapter, because it doesn't get us anywhere on its own. The cliffhanger ending really doesn't help matters much, either.
I'm a bit unsure on the dialogue; it's quite a short conversation, but there doesn't seem to be any emotion in it, specifically from the narrator, and I think that to get a better feel of the story, there could be. Does Mikayla feel relieved as she leaves her boss's office, or is she just indifferent to the whole idea? I think you definitely need to add to this to get it up on its feet.
June
Hello there
I don't know, I thought there was very little storytelling in this. Is it part of a chapter or is it a short story? What you could do is add more to this; maybe in between the dialogue you could add something, like the nature of Olga's office, the feelings makayla had after finding out is was a test, the kind of weather the place was experiencing when she went out for coffee etc. Something to make the story more real and I can relate as I read.
keep writing.