Garden

They were gorgeous. The red, purple, and yellow petals blended together in perfect harmony. Each different hue complimented the other. A few loose ones fell slowly to the ground. There were many pretty plants surrounding it, but this was the only one that held my attention. It was the only one I truly saw. It was the only one I knew. The only one I wanted. I couldn’t block out the jealousy that flooded me.

I slowly turned around to observe my flowers. The flowers he had given me. They weren’t nearly as beautiful and a few limbs were dead, just like our love. No, not our love. His love for me. It was dead, just like the unattended plants.

I gently stroked my neck, feeling the pearls from the necklace surrounding my throat. It was all I had left of him. I sighed and started walking out of the garden. I wished to be alone, but my neighbor, Ingrid, had spotted me.

“Leaving so soon Bree?”

I slowly turned to face her. Her old, wrinkled face had a deep look of concern. I gave her a quick, uneven smile.

“I think so.”

She motioned to the new plants Bob had planted in his section of the garden. “Those aren’t for you, are they?” She must have read my expression.

I didn’t feel like answering, but her gray eyes were so full of emotion I couldn’t leave her without an answer.

“Yes.”

“I saw him come in and plant them, but they weren’t in the usual spot, so I wondered.”

“I guess he likes to recycle his old tricks.”

She muttered something I could not hear. I walked towards her and sat on the stone bench. There was a slight breeze that filtered through the metal gate that encircled the entire community garden. I sighed.

“Did you hear what happened?” I finally asked.

“No, but you don’t have to tell me, dear.”

I shook my head. “No, I...I want to.”

She finished planting the white flowers and then sat next to me on the bench.

I told her the whole story, from the beginning to the end. I told her about the time we met to the first time he had showed me my flowers in the garden. I was never into gardening until that day. I told her about how I thought what he did was so romantic.

“It is romantic,” she said, “just not when it doesn’t mean anything.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, “but at that time I though it did mean something. I was wrong.”

“Then what happened?” she had finally asked.

“He cheated on me. I didn’t know the girl, but I’m assuming it’s who he planted those flowers for.” I motioned to the flowers.

“I’m sorry,” she said patting my knee.

I shut my eyes and listened to the birds chirping in the distance. I didn’t know why but the birds reminded me of Ingrid’s husband, although I never met him. Without opening my eyes I spoke.

“How long has it been?”

“Oh, about nine years.”

“I wish I could have met him.”

“I wish you could have too. He was a great man.”

Ingrid left a few minutes later. She told me that she was visiting her grandkids later and needed to bake them a cake. I laughed at that. Ingrid was always baking. She’s use any excuse to bake. My cat dies; she’d make me homemade brownies. I got a raise; she’d make me a cake. She was always giving; I wish I could be like that.

I went home to my empty apartment not long after. There were no missed calls or messages on the machine. No letters or contact from my sister, mother, or father. I hated being isolated, I couldn’t stand it, but then again I didn’t have the nerve to call them and tell them that they were right. If I could go back in time I would. If I knew he’d break my heart I wouldn’t have gotten so attached. What I thought was love had made me blind. He wasn’t worth it…any of it.

But a part of me felt like that was a lie. I was lying to myself. Deep down I knew I’d take him back in a heartbeat. I was pathetic.

The next day, after work, I went to the garden to read. I tried staying clear of Bob’s freshly planted flowers, but found myself staring at them the whole time.

People walked in and out of the garden, but paid no attention to me.

With every girl that walked through the same thought ran through my mind. “Is that her?” And with each ticking of the clock I grew more and more and more jealous. I wanted to destroy those flowers. I wanted them dead. That girl didn’t deserve him. Maybe if they died, then, like my flowers, their love would die with it.

I sat in the garden until nightfall. After staring at those precious flowers for hours I couldn’t take it any longer. I snapped. With one quick swipe of the hand I had knocked all the petals off. I tore the roots out of the earth and threw them in a pile. My hands were full of dirt, and my eyes full of tears. I couldn’t believe what I had done. I let jealousy take control. I was more pathetic than I had thought.

I reached for my necklace and felt the pearls. That had always comforted me, but not now. I realized that this necklace wasn’t anything, but a lie. I was holding on to it with hope of him coming back to me, but that wasn’t going to happen. This necklace was a choker, it was choking me…holding me back from moving on.

With shaky hands I unclasped the clasp and removed it from my neck. I laid it over the pile of debris I had created.