*$*Behind That Smile*$*


Usually when we smile
It means something
Not to me
Behind my smile
Is so much

They call me goth
When constantly,
I laugh
And smile

They call me weird
When constantly,
I do normal
Things

I stare at his face
Wondering what could have been
I stare into his eyes
As he looks into hers
And forgets me

Behind That Smile
Many things live inside of me
But the Pain
But the Sadness
Live inside of

That Smile

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Emerson
Review
Emerson wrote a review · Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:27 am

We should eventually create a section specifically for teen-based poetry...

Not original, to say the least, but wasn't entirely horrible either, so that is good. You have almost an entire lack of punctuation and structure, but I'll forgive that for now under the assumption that you are new to poetry. If you'd like I have an article: Poetry & Punctuation.

This poem is what a lot of teenagers have to say, so it isn't new. You want to find a way to make your poetry stick out from the rest. This is what I would call emotional poetry, and with emotional poetry the writer gets selfish. Don't tell us what is going on and what you feel, make us be in the situation and feel it.

I think it would be good for you to read some poetry before trying again, get a feel for what real poetry is? Even if just around YWS. Read poems, and read the responses to figure out what is good/bad. Try to read some articles on writing poetry, there are several in the Writing Tips, and we also have a group called the Poetry Seminar, I believe.

I know I really didn't say a lot to this specific poem, but I hope it helped.



Human minds are more full of mysteries than any written book and more changeable than the cloud shapes in the air.
— Louisa May Alcott