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The Writer

by midnight-thoughts


Ding! 

You've finally grasped it.

As you race to your desk to write it, 

It floats away, timidly. 

You sit in your chair, hands pulling hair, feet stomping floor,

Your candlelit mind burning no more. 

You drink a bit more to air out your head. 

You crawl back to bed, hoping your words

Won't leave you on "read". 

.

As you breathe a few times to clear out your mind,

Tiny spark. Wake up now! 

You've just found your new idea. 

You jump up and pace back and forth in your room 

To feed it. Expand it. Before it is doomed 

To your attention span, stunted. 

Yes, you've got it! It is glorious.

It is clever and deep and miraculous. 

.

Thrilled,  you sit down,

Ready to record. To perform. To create.

Because you were always 

Better at writing than talking,

Better at thinking than doing,

Better at feeling than interpreting...

.

So!

You seat yourself and begin to compose.

You search fancy words to make art out of prose.

Your expressions are soulful, like marvelous shows.

As you pen the next letter, you channel your woes 

Into the last line,

And then break everything. 

.

Oops. I've been caught. 

Hi, it's me, your pain,

Come to torment you again. 

You must have known inspiration doesn't come from thin air.

So go on, write your verse. At least this you can rehearse.

Like all the scenes you play at night.

Every word that comes out right.

A simple end to every fight.

Every solution to each plight.

.

Go on then, creator.

Craft your perfection,

The one you failed to build out there:

A slightly better-chosen word,

One or two "I love you more". 

.

You lean back in your chair, dazed at the turn of events.

Like ink, your past is set, 

But at least your writing's yours to shape. 


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21 Reviews


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Tue Sep 15, 2020 4:21 am
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melaniietears says...



I really like how this captures what it is like to be a writer. It is really relatable and well put together which is what makes this really good. The rhyming and the formatting just add to it. I also really like how you describe what's going on and how in depth it is even if it's subtle. Really good :)




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Tue Sep 15, 2020 3:18 am
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AlyTheBookworm says...



Hey! This isn't a review. Just wanted to drop by and say that I loved this. Quite painfully accurate to my own writing process and motives for writing. I like your word choice and second person worked great for the tone and message. I really enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing :)




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Tue Sep 15, 2020 1:29 am
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Lezuli wrote a review...



Hello and greeting to you! Kind of a belated welcome, but just thought I'd say it anyway:
Welcome to YWS! Hope you enjoy it here!
Anyway, as for my critiques, I don't have many, as this is well written and has a nice plot as well. Since everyone has different writing styles and I write a lot different then this, it was fun reading about someone else's experiences! The author's struggle to write was real and is totally relatable to any writer. Hmm...maybe you have to be a writer to fully appreciate this poem? Well, I know I certainly liked this.

You drink a bit more to air out your head.

I imagine you didn't mean this, but when I read this I totally thought: write drunk, edit sober. I found this line endlessly amusing.
And in closing, allow me to say that I totally loved this poem! I hope that this review helps you!




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Sun Sep 13, 2020 9:42 pm
Magebird wrote a review...



Hi there, midnight-thoughts! I see you just joined YWS today, so welcome to the site. <3

This poem perfectly captures what it's like to be a writer. Everyone's version of the writing experience is a little different, so I usually only relate to some of the poem. Your poem, on the other hand, was something I related to the entire way through!

The occasional rhymes are part of the reason why your poem is so good, but the formatting also really helps. You did a great job breaking down the writing experience into little tiny moments. They were basically snapshots of a bigger scene. As someone who struggles to read through long blocks of text, it was definitely helpful.

This isn't really a critique, but I thought you might be interested in knowing another way to format the poem. Formatting on YWS can be a little weird sometimes. If you want to make the spaces between lines smaller, all you have to do is hit shift & enter at the same time. You can use the regular enter for stanza breaks instead of periods in between stanzas - it's how I format my poems.

Besides that, your poem looks great! I think part of the reason I love it so much is because you touch on something I've always believed about my own writing - my desire and inspiration to write come from my own negative experiences. They can come from positive ones, too, but the negative ones are the initial inspiration.

There's actually something called the Literary Spotlight on the front page of YWS that a work can get into if it gets enough likes in a small period of time. I hope this poem ends up there! It certainly deserves to.

Let me know if you have any questions about this review or the site in general! :)

Image



Random avatar


I'm so glad you like it! I write because it's therapeutic for me, but I share because I hope that at least 1 person can get something out of my writing, whether it's enjoyment or validation or being able to relate. So thank you so much for your comments! And thanks for the formatting tip, it actually helps a lot (I was indeed a little confused hahaha).



Magebird says...


You're welcome! I'm glad that my tip helped. :)



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Sun Sep 13, 2020 7:35 pm
Rosewood wrote a review...



I'm not the best at reviewing poetry, but I'll just share my take on this and my suggestions!


Ding!

You've finally grasped it.

As you race to your desk to write it,

It floats away, timidly.

You sit in your chair, hands pulling hair, feet stomping floor,

Your candlelit mind burning no more.

You drink a bit more to air out your head.

You crawl back to bed, hoping your words

Won't leave you on "read".


Ah, the struggle is real! Sometimes, I think I have the perfect idea, but it vanishes as soon as I finally get my butt on the chair... These had a good rhythm, though, I wasn't quite sure what the last line meant.

As you breathe a few times to clear out your mind,

Tiny spark. Wake up now!

You've just found your new idea.

You jump up and pace back and forth in your room

To feed it. Expand it. Before it is doomed

To your attention span, stunted.

Yes, you've got it! It is glorious.

It is clever and deep and miraculous.


I just love when this happens! My favorite line in this part was "It is clever and deep and miraculous". Some would say this sounds like bad grammar, but I believe, or I hope, it was on purpose. It's like when an author has confidence in their writing, (how rare!), and they just want to share it with the world so they go on trying to describe it the best way they can until it all comes together.

Thrilled, you sit down,

Ready to record. To perform. To create.

Because you were always

Better at writing than talking.

Better at thinking than doing.

Better at feeling than interpreting...


Aw, the last four stanzas were nice! It felt genuine and personal, which is always great for poetry. I would suggest that you don't include the ellipsis, because it already is a strong enough end without them.

So!

You seat yourself and begin to compose.

You search fancy words to make art out of prose.

Your expressions are soulful, like marvelous shows.

As you pen the next letter, you channel your woes

Into the last line,

And then break everything.


Nice word choice! I absolutely loved the first five/six stanzas, but the last just felt... wrong? It didn't have the same rhythm as the others and left me feeling disappointed.

Oops. I've been caught.

Hi, it's me, your pain,

Come to torment you again.

You must have known inspiration doesn't come from thin air.

So go on, write your verse. At least this you can rehearse.

Like all the scenes you play at night.

Every word that comes out right.

A simple end to every fight.

Every solution to each plight.


This was also well written, and I liked it!

Go on then, creator.

Craft your perfection,

The one you failed to build out there:

A slightly better-chosen word,

One or two "I love you more".

This was a little confusing. I felt like the rhythm was off and you could've used some other words instead like 'Build' for 'Craft' or 'crafted' for 'chosen'. The last line also confused me here too. I'm not sure what it's supposed to mean.

You lean back in your chair, dazed at the turn of events.

Like ink, your past is set,

But at least your writing's yours to shape.


Good ending and sums up our, (author's), struggle!


Overall, this was a good poem, but I think with better word choice and a more carefully crafted rhythm it would be something special. I'd love for you to get back to me, because I'm really curious about those lines I didn't understand.



Random avatar


Hi Rosewood, thanks a lot for the feedback! Highly appreciated. I get that I made a few creative choices that don't seem very obvious so I'll try to explain why I did those:

1) "Hoping the words won't leave you on read" was like me having a dialogue with the words that I want to write, and I'm like "could you please come back?" and the words just don't respond and don't come to me, kinda like leaving me on "read" if it was a text message.

2) "It is clever and deep and miraculous": yeah it was on purpose, it was meant to show when an idea finally comes together and you're just too excited about it, and your mind is racing as you think about. Great feeling.

3) "And then break everything": I'm kind of glad it felt wrong because that's what I was going for, in a weird way! I was planning to end it and then I started thinking about my ex (it's been a rough few months lol) and I just started feeling bad. It killed my whole mood right at the end. And that's when I was like "Oh, I often write when I feel bad about something. Guess I just started writing without realizing I was feeling down." And then I got the idea of my pain kinda highjacking the poem and I find out it was the one inspiring me write all along. (kinda dark maybe but I thought it was cool)

4) "One or two 'I love you more'": This kinda has to do with the ex, but really it's about me writing all the things I should have said, or wish I said, to a bunch of people irl. So like as I'm writing this story, I have the power to add every word I didn't say irl, where it's too late to change anything. (Does that make sense?? Let me know if it doesn't)

Hope this helps! Thanks again for your feedback! :)



Rosewood says...


Oh, okay! Thank you for taking the time to explain it to me, It makes much more sense and the poem feels a lot deeper in meaning!




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