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2019 and why it kinda sucked.

by michlan00

I’m not one to usually put my business out there, but when I think about it, I’d like to see this pop up in my memories in 4 or 5 years. Just to see how much I’ve grown from this point in my life. I thought 2018 was a bad year, but 2019 has just been more difficult; let me tell you why.

The first thought that popped into my head the beginning of 2019 was, “there is going to be a lot of lasts and a lot of firsts.” Boy was that an understatement. The “lasts” that I would be experiencing were my highschool days. Everything from finals, prom, and graduation were weighing heavy on my mind, all year long. I thought this was the hard part. This wasn’t even the start.

I got accepted into what I thought was my “dream school” LOL (we will get more into the LOL later). This was when things got SUPER interesting. I started to slowly lose touch with my friends, and even dropped friends that I have known for years (simply to make myself happy). DO NOT KEEP TOXIC PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE. I was also making new friends from going to visit my new school. Although I looked forward to college, I did not look forward to the Summer (I had to get a job. AKA finally time to be a big girl).

My first real job was and still is at a grocery store. Crest Foods. I started in June and I’ve never been so happy to stand for 8 hours, 5 days a week, for a 30 minute lunch. SIKE. I really liked working, it gave me a sense of purpose, but as time has gone on, I really dread going to work sometimes. After starting school, my hours had decreased. Hour decreases means I am NOT making as much. Although going to work sucks, I have met some of the most genuine people ever and I am glad to call them my friends. They are more good to me than some friends that I have known for a looooooooong time. But really, the hours I work because of school, are TRASH.

Now, to talk about my “dream” school which actually turned out to be a TOTAL FLOP. I began going to school at this university because the environment was nice, the people were kind, and the campus was beautiful. I was dead set on elementary education, but this school has made me want to change majors. I’m not going to bash this university because I have seen it do great things for others, but I am not one of them. I absolutely DREAD going to this school. I hate going to class, I hate the program I am in, and I hate being on campus. Over the course of my time being here, I have decided not to continue going to school here. School has been really hard, not because the work, it’s just having the will to even get out of bed and go. Maybe I do have seasonal depression, but who really knows.

Next semester I have decided to finish my basics at a local community college, it’s not only cheaper, but I don’t absolutely hate the place. I also know people that go there, so who knows, I might just like community college rather than a big university that only wants my money???? I do plan on going to a 4 year university after, to get my degree, but I’m still not 100% sure what that is.

One thing about 2019 that has really affected me (and not in a good way) is my mental health. I have thought about going to a therapist just to let it all out, but I really don’t want to spend $100 an hour for them to say I’m being dramatic. Like, I could get that for free from family. Although talking to a family member is easier for some people, I don’t think it’d be beneficial for me, simply because my family likes to gossip (whose doesn’t tbh?). I need an outside opinion, and genuine advice that would help me. I don’t want to go into 2020 feeling like this, and I don’t want a 2018-2019 repeat.

Those were some of the lowlights of this year, let me talk about the highlights. 2019 wasn’t a total flop of a year, but 80% of it was. Some exciting things that happened include prom, graduation, my stepmoms graduation, my dad is much happier, and my family is finally coming together. I have gotten to spend time with family I don’t get to see very often, and I genuinely enjoy being around them. SHOUTOUT TO MY UNCLE JOHN AND HIS FAMILY (washa name?) Although 2019 had its ups and downs, I can’t wait for 2020.

~Michlan Trevino Oct. 23, 2019

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1246 Reviews

Points: 35749
Reviews: 1246

Fri Oct 25, 2019 1:37 pm
niteowl wrote a review...

Hi there! Niteowl here.

Writing wise, I'm not sure what to discuss here, since this is more of a blog entry. There is a Blogs tab for these sorts of posts, so I would save your points for stories and poems you want reviews on. I guess my biggest tip on that end would be to cut the all caps since it's perceived as shouting and unprofessional. I might also consider a different structure, possibly chronological, as I feel like the high school events were shoehorned in at the end.

However, since you did ask for advice, I will give it. For context, I'm 29 and have gone through my fair share of mental health issues. These days, I'm overeducated and underemployed but actually pretty happy.

1) First things first, I would strongly encourage removing your name and the name of the store you work at. The chain appears to be very local and your name pretty unique, which means this could easily end up in a Google search in the future. Without going into details, I almost got into big trouble because of something I posted on here in high school. My name wasn't attached to this account, but enough details were that I was identifiable. I've since made efforts to scrub that kind of info out of this account.

2) Concerning school/career stuff: It sounds like transferring to community college would be a good move if you're so miserable at your current school. Like you said, it is cheaper and could help you figure out what you want to do. In the short term, I would try to get through your current classes and finish the semester on an academically sound note. At least then you'll get the credits and won't have the black mark of flunking out.

3) About mental health stuff: I'm sorry you're struggling. Having been through my own stuff, I'd say that therapy can be super beneficial, and no therapist I've had has ever said I'm being dramatic (even in instances where I kinda was lol). They can also help with some of the big decisions you're facing like major/career decisions. The out-of-pocket costs can also be much lower than you think, depending on your health insurance and if you can find a provider that does sliding scale (like mine). Your school counseling center can give you an initial evaluation and refer you to outside services if necessary. There's also free support groups such as NAMI or through your school which might be helpful.

4) I agree that family is not always the best source of advice. They are not impartial and likely don't have professional training. Heck, my mother does have professional training (Master's in social work, had her own practice), and she's still said very unhelpful things like "you're young, you don't know stress" and "get off your pity pot". So yes, therapists are much more helpful in this regard.

I hope this was helpful to you. Good luck with everything and I hope 2020 turns out better for you. :)

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212 Reviews

Points: 575
Reviews: 212

Thu Oct 24, 2019 7:30 pm
EverLight wrote a review...

Welcome to Y.W.S.! I am Katnes, and I've been here for around two, three years, so you'll see a lot of me around here, and I like to think of myself as a professional writer. (If you've ever end up reading one of my works, you'll see why)
Please don't hesitate to PM me about anything. If you decide not to that's fine. I understand. Just know I'm here for you.
My favorite things to watch are Avengers, Voltron: Legendary Defenders, and Star Wars.
My favorite things are, cats, Astronomy, reading writing and the outdoors, but above all I love Jesus Christ.
Now, the thing you need to remember about me, is that I am much more intelligent then I seem. So don't ever underestimate me.
If you want to find out more about me, try reading what I've written.
Right so, on to your work-I couldn't find any problems with it, but you asked for advice, and rather you meant it or not I feel obliged to give some-Regarding your degree-slow down. Take a deep breath. You can't rush the future. Then consider what degree would be most beneficial to you, or one that's your favorite. If that gets you no where, try seeing if there's a degree that'll help you use a favorite hobby. Or think of it this way-get a degree that will help you do what you want to do in your life. Going to community collage? Go for it. If you don't feel like your getting anything out of a university college, then most likely you aren't. You may be happier in community college anyhow. I know you aren't happy going to school right now, but pull through it. Nine times out of ten you'll end up regretting it later, when you realize you wasted your life not getting an education, and getting married to the wrong person. The thing is, an education can help you pursue your dreams.
As for your depression, the sad news is there are no magic words, that will make it go away forever. What you can do is keep up with your health-eat healthy food, keep fit, and change your attitude towards life. You can't really change life, and life is always going to be hard, but you can change how you meet life's toughness. Either life beats you, or you beat life. So, try focusing on the good things in your life, and cherish them. Especially your new reunited family. Try thinking about them more often. And spend time around positive people, who will encourage you and make you feel happier. (That may mean going to community college) Do whatever you can to root out those negative thoughts, because if you let them fester they'll rule your life-and you'll end up living a miserable existence. If nothing else works, try finding songs about your situation, if you can't then write one. If you aren't good with instruments just do the lyrics. Finally whenever you can try taking a moment to relax, and enjoy the beautiful things your surroundings and in your life.
I hope that helps.

The moral of Snow White is never eat apples.
— Lemony Snicket