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Young Writers Society



Saying Goodbye

by michellel96


i added and edited some stuff and i'm sorry about my capitalization...lolz
---

Standing in the dark alone
pondering over my confusion
there's no way home
i have no solutions

I thought you would take me in your arms
and give a squeeze
but I guess you don't care about me
like i thought you did

chorus:
why did you turn your back
why did you act like that
did you plan this from the start
to try to break my heart

now isn't the time
to make it right
i don't feel it anymore
so i'm saying goodbye
END OF CHORUS

i was thinking
is there some way to end this?
is there some
way to stop the ride?

is there some shelter
along the road
is there a place
to hide?

i risk every moment
when we're together
can you only fill me
with junk and whatever?

chorus

we're not going
in different directions
we're on the same road
but not with each other......

this isn't the time
to make it right
because i don't feel it anymore
so i'm saying goodbyeeeee


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30 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 30

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Wed Jul 11, 2007 7:37 pm
nightmarebook13 says...



i liked it . but I'm not quite sure if the was suppose to be a rhyme scheme . otherwise i think it was great! :elephant: keep rockin!!




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Points: 890
Reviews: 7

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Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:33 pm
jump//for//joy wrote a review...



wow lol yeah quite sad but everyone loves a sad song, cause we all like to wallow :)

erm...want some constructive dont worry hehe critiscism? just some of the grammar maybe? actually i dont think its even grammar only it sounds a bit odd to me, could just be me of course! eg. "but i wont give a care" or "how you wanted" consider maybe "what you wanted", or "but i wont care for you".

i dont know, just my opinion, but otherwise i think its really good, nice to know other people feel the same way as you sometimes :D X




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30 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 30

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Thu Mar 01, 2007 1:22 am
erin says...



this was very good it did kinda make me sad but it was very good job well done keep it up.




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6 Reviews


Points: 890
Reviews: 6

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Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:54 pm
Macky says...



I really like it! It kinda makes me feel sad and comepletely odd! :) I REALLY love it! I give it 10 outa 10!





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