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Young Writers Society



No hesitation

by michellel96


There's not always someone
To take your call
There's not always someone
To catch you when you fall

You have no harness
No safety net below
Take the plunge
And take a chance

Chorus:
A risk that we must take
Decisions we must make
Keep going there's no break
No more hesitation

Risks make us strong
Mistakes don't make us wrong
Don't give in when you hope is gone
Just keep going on and on..
END OF CHORUS

Life is bittersweet
we laugh and we weep
_____________________
_____________________
????

CHORUS

Wrongs can make a right
Single candle will give you light
When nights are dark you can make them bright
Can't draw back, don't surrender now

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1275 Reviews

Points: 36224
Reviews: 1275

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Wed Mar 14, 2007 8:01 pm
niteowl wrote a review...



Overall, it was pretty good, and broken-image had some good critiques. I just wanna add that "Is it life?" doesn't seem like the question that makes the most sense there. Perhaps "Is it right?" would make more sense. Or come up with your own alternative. But as is, the chorus is confusing. The idea behind the song is good, though. Keep it up! :mrgreen:




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Points: 890
Reviews: 9

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Fri Mar 09, 2007 4:10 pm
broken-image wrote a review...



A risk that we must take.Decisions we must make

i think you should take out the word 'that'.


Give it all, no more fakes
Don't ask
Is it life?


that does not make a lot of sense to me you need to make it more clear, it sounds forced.


Risks make us strong
Mistakes don't make us wrong

i really like this and shall add it to my notebook of inspiring quotes lol; if you don't mind me doing so.


When you earn them
And try

If you want
The trophy in your hands
Give some efforts
Give your best chance


i think you left the first line unfinished. write something like "when you try you earn them" or use your own ideas but i think it needs to be re-written.


Wrongs can make a right
Single candle will give you light
When nights are dark you can make them bright
Can't draw back, surrender and fight


well the first line is great however here is what i also think.


Single candle will give you light



write 'a' single candle...


Can't draw back, surrender and fight




erm well you start of with saying you have to fight, than surrender; and than you say fight.
make up your mind :D
anyway it doesn't sound right unless i have interpreted it wrong!


overall its cool and i love the point behind it.
so yeah im going to shut up now.
cheers





Maybe what most people wanted wasn't immortality and fame, but the reassurance that their existence had meant something. No matter how long... or how brief. Maybe being eternal meant becoming a story worth telling.
— Roshani Chokshi, Aru Shah and the Nectar of Immortality