Hi there! Lim here with a review.
First Impressions
This seems to be an interesting overview of different people’s opinions of Buddhism. It seems to be focused on the Tang Dynasty, though I wonder if some of the documents might be from different dynasties, since not all of them have a date/time mentioned. I found it a bit difficult to read because of the organisation, which I will get into later. It does look like you have an interesting selection of evidence to support your points though.
Content and Balance
Something I like about your article is that you describe different sides to the issue. You have about the same amount written on those who had a negative view of Buddhism as those who had a positive view, which makes for a balanced article.
Confucian philosophy focuses on the importance of personal ethics, morality, and the country overall. However, Buddhism focuses on the religion aspect, showing how religion comes first before everything.
^ I thought this was a good point to make. It helped me understand why people who follow Confucianism might be against Buddhism (and perhaps vice versa).
Organisation
Something I think could be improved is the introduction. The introduction goes straight into talking about the facts. There seems to be missing a section to talk about why the reader should read on, such as why this history is important or how it connects to other aspects of life, for instance. There is also a lot of information in the introduction, which makes it a bit overwhelming to start off the article with.
I think it would also be good to make it clearer how your evidence and quotes support the points that you make. For example:
1. Now there are those who accepted Buddhism because of its acceptable path to enlightenment.
1. aBuddhism believes that human life is one of suffering, and that meditation, spiritual and physical labor. They believe in the “Four Noble Truths” which “The First Noble Truth is the Noble Truth of Sorrow…. The Second Noble Truth is the Noble Truth of the Arising of Sorrow… The Third Noble Truth is the Noble Truth of the Stopping of Sorrow…. The Fourth Noble Truth is the Noble Truth of the Way that Leads to the Stopping of Sorrow” (Document 1).
In this part, it doesn’t say how 1.a. shows that 1 is true. The description of the Four Noble Truths doesn’t really support the point that people found Buddhism to have an “acceptable path to enlightenment”. The facts are just there without context.
Meanwhile:
Zhi Dun, Chinese scholar, author, and confidant of Chinese aristocrats and high officials during the period, speaks of the many joys of joining the Buddhist religion. He states whoever accepts Buddhism, “when his soul passes away, be miraculously transported thither. He will behold the Buddha and be enlightened in his spirit, and then he will enter Nirvana” (Document 2).
The quote you gave next has more of an explanation. The bolded parts are some reasons that connect the quote and show why it supports the point that people found Buddhism acceptable. I think it would also be good to explain what Nirvana is here, even with just a short sentence, for readers who are unfamiliar with Buddhism.
Overall
I think you have some good content and points to make in this article and appreciate the balance in showing different views. If you are planning on editing this, working on how you explain the relevance of your quotes/ evidence would be a good step, as well as adding more context to the introduction as opposed to information.
Hope this helps and feel free to ask for more feedback!
-Lim
Points: 26154
Reviews: 469
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