the Poet writes as follows...

by methrirr123

Published December 24, 2012

A poet writes as follows here,
A couplet, joyous to the ear,
and eyes do see how it dost rhyme,
but I don't care, since it doesn't really make a difference.
Some poems have very long, descriptive lines that daunt the reader, so that he gives up in a huff and switches to another piece.
Some poems have lines.
That have one.
maybe two
words
in them.
Do
you
see
why
this
is
a
bit
frustrating
to read?
Some are littered with meaning.
Some poems are just forced to rhyme.
And I know that you can't help feeling
that your poem sounds just like mine...
Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
Caerulean
Review
Caerulean wrote a review Review · Dec 30, 2012

Hey there! Happy Review Day! :D This is my first one since so long so forgive me if this one fails. xD

Anyway, this is interesting. :) It's not common for a poem to be written commenting or criticizing other poems like this. Like what Cailey said in her review, this is a poem about poetry. It comes off a bit intimidating though, especially for one such as me who is not really good at poetry. I mean, I don't have that much technical knowledge in literature. lol You sound like someone who knows what 'poetry' is.

I'm not really so fond of this poem probably because it's just not my type. It's more objective than subjective, topic-wise, and I'd prefer something that evokes more emotion. :) What also comes with this is that there is not much imagery, but maybe that doesn't matter much in this poem as this is a 'talking poem' wherein you, as the writer, are only pointing out some things you'd like to with your reader.

This is good though, and the structure is not bad for a casual reader like me at least.

Some poems have lines.
That have one.
maybe two
words
in them.
Do
you
see
why
this
is
a
bit
frustrating
to read?

- This part, although it seems like you're saying this is bad in poetry, actually looks nice. :) And you used this effectively to point out this part of your poem. It is a pain though if the reader will read it with the pauses implied by the line breaks. But when I read it in my mind, I read it fast downwards, which actually makes it sound cool. ;)

Some poems are just forced to rhyme.

- This hits me. xD I've had poems that do look, and sound, forced to rhyme, haha.

And I know that you can't help feeling
that your poem sounds just like mine...

- This part seemed a bit sudden because here, you are trying to relate with the reader, which did not seems to be what you were doing at the rest of the poem. But anyway, this is ending is all right, :) and it seems nice that you are actually connecting to your reader.

- I'm cutting back to the start with my nitpicks, kay? xD (Sorry, my review's structure is messed up. lol I used to do nitpicks at the beginning, haha.) -


The title is interesting. ;) It's what made me click on this post, followed by the thought of what 'the Poet actually writes as follows'.

A poet writes as follows here,
A couplet, joyous to the ear,

- You started off with this interesting, though cliché-ish, line, and I think this catches attention well. It caught mine at least. xD

and eyes do see how it dost rhyme,

- I loved the sudden use of Archaic English here. xD Also, starting at this line, it began to seem that you are actually incorporating different forms used in poetry.

but I don't care, since it doesn't really make a difference.
Some poems have very long, descriptive lines that daunt the reader, so that he gives up in a huff and switches to another piece.

- If I am to be negative, this one is extremely long. lol But I am fine with it, and I understand why you did this. The length made me read it fast by the way. lol

My nitpicks end here. :)

This is in overall an interesting poem. :) I'm not overly fond of it because of the lack of deeper emotion which I personally prefer, but this is not bad at all. ;)

Never stop writing! :D

User avatar
SarahMazer
Review
SarahMazer wrote a review Review · Dec 30, 2012

I like this alot! It's silly, but in a refreshing way! Keep writing

User avatar
Cailey
Review
Cailey wrote a review Review · Dec 24, 2012

This was great. I like the idea of a poem about poetry. I wouldn't consider this a fantastic piece, it seems like you were just playing around with ideas. I think this could work well with some more work.
You could try to really make each line sound different. Play with the styles more, and see if you can mimic each section to other forms of poetry. Your long descriptive line could be longer, and you could do more with imagery and figurative language.
Of course, you might have just done this for fun and you don't want to change anything, which is also fine.



Regret has a flavor and it tastes like the espresso I consumed at 9pm.
— SilverNight